12 Month Old, Delayed Development & in Need of Positive Feedback

Updated on February 03, 2011
A.K. asks from Stinesville, IN
8 answers

Ok, so I'm a mess over this. My child isn't crawling, pulling to stand, / getting from lying to sitting position. I'm sensitive to this b/c we have a child w/ severe developmental condition that has been Dx & we were tested & are not carriers for. we also have typically developing child. So, I've had experience w/ both.
My child has been recieving EI for 2 months now. The therapist says she can find no physical findings for his lack of mobility & niether can his doc. His doc was was very reassuring at his 1 yr check up & suspects he will catch up. I just can't help but go back to the situation we were in before. I feel foolish, embarrased, selfish for having another child ( you name it, i feel it). I think about it every minute of the day, consumes my thoughts. His doc told me not to waste any time worrying about this but I can't help it. I trust his doc fully, so please don't bash him on his lack of concern. we did discuss my options but i chose to decline at this point b/c I'm not emotionally ready to deal with my child being picked apart & there isn't any glaring problem that needs attention.

****I have 3 children, theoldest, having the severe disability & the middle child who has developed normally & now my 12 month od, that I;m concerned about. I have been through all the medical testing & intervention w/ my oldest . I know it isn't always that easy & that a developmental specialist will have me do what I am doing now.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

My son is now 17.5 mos old . My gut feeling, seems to be correct. He is not walking yet but cruising. He is not saying any words or gesturing. He is closer to a 12 month level. This has been a very difficult time for me but trying to get through 1 day at a time. He has been seen by a couple of specialists & they can't find anything physically concerning on exam, that would explain the delay. I know that something must be going on with him, cognitively. We are going to hold off on an MRI, because his neuro exam was good & doc said no reason to risk anesthesia when the exam is good, unless I need peace of mind . I feel that even if it were normal, I wouldn't have peace. The specialist told me he appeared to be bright eyed & in good health which isn't typical for a child that has an underlying medical issue, causing a delay. Also, to add his therapists think that he is just " laid back" but I think that's a but of crap. I'm just constantly worried , I'm trying to enjoy him for who he is & his "laid back" personality but it's hard because of what I had mentioned in the orig. post.*** Also, these specialists are not quacks, I know some will question that but to save time , I just don't feel the need to get overly detailed.

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.Y.

answers from Chicago on

Please don't beat yourself up. You have a beautiful baby who I'm sure is very loved. Don't regret having him. You chose to have another child. He is here and is a great person, regardless of whatever issues he may have. Embrace him for who he is and help him be the best he can be. I have cared for children with special needs as a daycare provider and foster parent for many years. Each of the children brought such joy to my life. They all were happy, wonderful people despite their challenges. I say that you should trust your instinct on whether to pursue further testing with him. You aren't neglecting him as he is in EI. Continue with therapy and pray for the best. All children develop differently. He may just be taking his sweet time and catch up soon. If he doesn't, then the extra help will help him a lot. Only time will tell what hiss capabilities will be. Don't waste this precious time in your baby's life worrying because it goes by too quickly. Just love him. Things will work out how they are meant to be.

2 moms found this helpful

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

Ok, I am sorry but I somehow got lost in the post and could not quite keep up with who had what and how many children you have but that is beyond the point. For any child who has development concerns one thing that I have learned is that mommy needs a support team of other parents who GET IT!!! Another is that you need to work on the things that they are behind in MORE than what they are succeeding in and you need to pay attention to the milestones and HELP your child reach them IN ORDER!!! We skipped orders on some and I REGRET IT. My child does have special needs and I feel that we could have done him a better service had I recognized it earlier and not been so focused on what he did well and said "Oh the rest will come in time" some things did not really come and he is 4 still working on learning some skills of a two or three year old and tests like that as well Really ... all you can do is say YEAH I have children who are physicall healthy they just need help in some areas and I can be the one to give it to him weather that is by doing it yourself or getting him to the people who are trained for it. You are not at fault, you are not a bad mommy or a bad person you simply need to pick up the pieces of your broken heart and get the right team put to gether and get things working in the right direction. **HUGS**

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Hang in there. Keep working with the therapist. Do you live near a children's hospital? Maybe you can get an appointment with a developmental pediatrician.

I am a very proactive person, so I encourage you to look into this more when you are ready. Maybe give it 3 months. If he's not crawling or pulling to a stand by then, get a referral to a developmental pediatrician.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.L.

answers from Miami on

My daughter is the same. At 13 months, she's not crawling, not sitting herself up, not pulling to stand, and of course not walking. At 9 months we started PT with her and she's made steady but slow progress ever since. She has low muscle tone in her neck/arms/shoulders that makes crawling and lifting her head more effortfull, but she can do it and we need to work everyday to encourage her and do the the excersizes the PT teaches us.
I KNOW, it's a bummer, but i've come to the conclusion that this is just a small part of who she is. It's her life and her journey and all I can do is love and support her. My daughter is a delight in every aspect, the kid just needs some excersize and motivation.
Please don't beat yourself up, you're doing your best and that's all we can do.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.R.

answers from Columbus on

You have one child with special needs, and that is one of the most stressful experiences ever. You need to take care of yourself, and see a professional about how you are feeling emotionally. All parents who have children with needs will need help at some point, and there is absolulty no shame in that at all. It is very difficult, and you are not alone. I can spot your need, I have been there myself, and you can feel better. Call a mental health professional, and if you cannot do it yourself, have your husband call for you. Treat this like the oxygen mask on an airplane, you need to put the mask on yourself before you can help the child sitting next to you.

You need to stop blaming yourself and feeling guilty and selfish, a professional can help you get over that, so that you can do what needs to be done for your youngest child. ECI is not diagnostic, and is never all that kids need. Make an appointment with a developmental Pediatrician, it will be many months before your child will get in, so you have plenty of time to get help so that you feel better in the mean time. By the time your child can get into see the Developmental Pedaitarican, you will no longer be looking at it as picking them appart, but as the first step in finding out what you need to do to help them.

Been there, done that...you are not alone.

M.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.S.

answers from Daytona Beach on

my sister had a friend whose little girl had the same thing going on with her when she was a little of a year old. she couldn't sit up, couldn't crawl. basically the only thing she could do was lay there. fast forward 6yrs (with no therapy) and she is perfectly fine. every situation is different, of course, but why beat youself up over it? all of your children will be loved equally, and your middle child (and more than likely your youngest) will have a great amount of compassion and understanding of the differences and obstacles that people have to overcome.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Look, you obviously love both of your kids. (you have 2 right?) Anyway, as you well know, EI is key and you are getting him that. Take what your doc thinks to heart, get your LO the services & help he needs. He might surprise you! Hang in there, mom. You'llALL be ok.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.S.

answers from Miami on

www.masgutovamethod.com
Try to find someone in your area to work on both of your DD children. It doesn't matter where the delay comes from, the intervention is the same. A home program can be given to you so that there is little need to go to EI. he needs to learn to crawl and he can't because he is stuck with primitive reflexes that will not let his body and central nervous system work together. I have been doing this work and seeing miracles for all ages, even when the therapists gave up! It works! Typical therapy works on symptoms, MNRI goes right to the core problem and fixes it so the brain can mature. Get started right away. If you need help, let me know.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions