My 11 yr old has this fear of not being able to fall asleep. She fears what if she stays up all night and every night despite of our advise and chats she stays up, even though she is so tired she thinks about sleep for atleast an hour after going to bed and then wakes up to pee. She has now formed a habit of peeing after an hour being in bed. Normally she has no trouble holding it in and it's all in her mind but she can't help it. The more I talk to her the more she does it. I have begun to ignore it but it's still the same. Sometimes she'll complaint that it's too hot despite of the room being cold like in the 50's and I know it's because she is in there thinking. I have talked to her and nothing is on her mind besides the fact that she is trying to fall asleep no matter how tired she is. We do not give her any caffinated drinks and not enough water before going to bed. TRIED everything, any adivces?
My dad told my daughter to imagine in her head a chalk or white board. Write everything down that running through her mind then erase it to help clear her mind. Worked for her! Good luck!
melatonin is a good natural sleep aid, but you might want to be aware that it can give VERY vivid dreams, not bad dreams necessarily but it could be good or bad, they just seem more real/memorable. you might also consider a Calcium/magnesium/vit D supplement to promote good sleep, either with or without the melatonin, I've tried both for myself, and they were helpful, in the beginning I needed both for best results.
just a thought, if she is afraid that she wont fall asleep because she is afraid that she will be up all night, then you might want to pick a safe time (like weekend where you dont have much to do on a saturday) and just let her try and stay up all night intentionally. you might join her, do quiet activities like read books, magazines, listen to soft music, just hang out together, kinda like a mini slumber party with Mom. just so she can see that if she does stay up all night, she will be okay the next day just tired, but it may take the pressure off "trying" to go to sleep.
I also use music when my mind is racing and I can't sleep, but my rule there is that it has to be instrumental, no words, because the works distract me. Jazz, Classical, even contemporary music, but no words!
best of luck, sleep difficulties are such a difficult problem to deal with, if the suggestions here don't work, you might try working with a psychologist to help her relax and get over her anxiety (if you need a recommendation let me know I know of a wonderful on in the Keller area.)
My doctor told me to give my daughter Melatonin. It's with the supplements. It comes in a 3 mg pill that they take about a hour before they want to be asleep. It's the natural whatever that your body releases that helps you sleep. She was the same way, thinking about stuff, not being able to "shut off her mind" enough to actually fall asleep. We did it for maybe a week, then encouraged her to try again on her own, and she rarely needs one now. It was just enough to break the cycle. You might talk to your doctor about it.
I usually have a hard time taking naps even when I am short on sleep and desperately need one (all us moms can relate to that, I'm sure). What I have found that works for me is -- this may sound odd to some -- but telling my self affirmations as I am laying down to rest.
What I will do is lay down and put one hand on my forehead and one hand on my stomach (this is comforting for some reason) and I'll close my eyes. I will then tell myself that, "It is all right for me to fall asleep. I will wake up at the perfect right time feeling refreshed and rested." I usually do fall asleep very easily and I do wake up after 20 minutes feeling fantastic. Before I stumbled onto this trick, I could spend forever trying to fall asleep and, if I did manage to sleep, I'd wake up an hour or two later feeling drugged and disoriented.
I know this may sound kooky to some but it works for me and I am a firm believer that what you tell yourself is what you will be. Might as well change the message to a more positive one. It's worth a shot.
Hope this helps.
I have a friend whose son is also on Melatonin, hes' now 14.
My one daughter,13, has a radio with a sleep timer she turns on. The other, 15, has to have everything dark, the door shut tight, drapes pulled.
My 10 yo son has two lava lamps and a nightlite, a radio with a timer, and his drapes pulled. He's afraid of the "eyes" outside.
Try not letting her watch any wild tv shows at night.
No caffeine after dinner.
Make sure she does her homework after school, before dinner or in the early evening so she isn't stressiing over that.
I just took my 12 year old to the doctor because she has a really hard time falling to sleep. This has been an on going problem though since she had to start waking up for pre-school. The pediatrician told me to get Melatonin (found in the vitamin section) It is all natural and it has been working for the past 3 weeks!
I had trouble turning my brain off to go to bed as a kid as well...what worked for me was to turn the radio on...it gave my subconsccious mind something to think about and I could drift off to sleep.
That and I had to have it completely dark...I mean pitch black! I had blackout drapes as a kid...and now as an adult I no longer need the radio but I do have tint on my bedroom windows and tight shutters that block out any light!
I have had that problem since I was about 5 or so. I don't get to sleep easily but have found some thing that work, have read a lot about it and have had sleep studies done.
Some thjings to try: Knock out any caffeine sources after lunch. If I have a coke at 2:30pm, it will affect me! Try knocking out late night sweets, fruits, white bread, anything with natural sugars that might rev up their system.
Don't play hard or exercise 1.5 hours before bedtime.
If your nose is stuffy a lot on one side or another, use the netti pot before bedtime to help. Stuffy noses contribute to poor breathing which helps you relax.
Learn better breathing techniques for her to try during the day anf going to bed.
Have a definite bedtime routine that is relaxing - same time each night - don't vary more than 2 hours on the weekends. It might be bath, reading for 20 minutes, very dark room (or eye mask), no bright lights when going to the bathroom. If you try music, think about spa type instrumentals.
Ask the child if her mind is racing with thoughts or just pretty blank and she's bored while waiting to go to sleep (like me).
I got up to 3 Melatonin supplements okayed by doctor. Actually, it helps but the dreams were disturbingly realistic. Wonder if 1-2 Melatonin combined with Calcium-magnesium is a good idea?
Heck, sometimes I put the tv on sleep timer, very low volume, and put it on some boring talk show. I stop hearing the words but it is better than laying there bored to death.
Try a fan to move the air and give some white noise.
The need to pee can be caused by stress or even just the body getting restless while waiting to get to sleep. The calcium/mag may help the restlessness. Try eliminating drinks earlier on too. Learn what causes water to want to release. I know tea and beer does that to me but what else?
Tomatoes, green tea, asparagus, cranberry juice, garlic, etc supposedly.
After that, I'd try a doctor.
PS My two kids were both night people too, not morning people. I seriously did not do anything to encourage that as I would have preferred that they go to sleep earlier.
Anxiety is powerful. Give her tools and options. Which you may have done already, but I would Tell her to turn the light on and read. Fall asleep with the light on. I'd say, "So what if you stay up all night? You'll be tired the next day. That's not so bad!" I used to always show my kids the worst case scenario and point out that that even the worst isn't so bad.
This also could be hormonal if it is new. There are supplements that may be able to even out her hormone processes.
