Hi fellow moms, I am sleep training my son. I refer to Dr. Weissbluth as my guide. I am letting him "cry it out." Lately he has been sitting up in his crib when he wakes up in the middle of the night. I am nursing him and have been up with him 2-3 times a night for most of his life. I feel bad when he is sitting up and I do not know if he knows how to get himself into a lying down position. He is in a loose sleep sack. My husband will go in and place him down. He usually is up at 4:50 am every night. My husband is traveling next week and I know that if I go in there he will not stop crying unless I nurse him back to sleep. When I do go in there I always nurse him back to sleep. What should I do? This little guy has stolen my heart and I feel so sad for him when he sits up and won't lay down.
On some level, you might not know until you try? Maybe he does know how to lay back down, but you just might not know it? When he wakes up and sits up, is he crying then? Or just sitting up awake? Maybe you can leave him be for a few (5, 10, 15) minutes and see what happens?
Good luck.
I love Weissbluth. His book was my "sleep bible" for my first child. If it were me and I was without my husband, I would still go in and help him down and then just walk out. He might cry, but he'll go back to sleep. The alternative is to leave him be, he's crying and he can't go back to sleep because he is sitting up. The other alternative is to nurse him, but that is so back-peddling that I would avoid that if you are sleep training and CIO.
he is probably working on teeth ( molars) and wants to nurse to relieve the pain. The nursing action relieves the pain. I am NOT a fan of CIO so I cant help you there. I suggest reading on Dr.Sears website on his sleeping section that helps explain sleep in young children. Hope that helps you
I agree with Barb S. I know it is hard but you have to resist. Trust me as I have a 2 year old. It is so wonderful when he goes to bed at 8 and I have the rest of the night to do what I need to do to get us ready for the next day. I did give my son a pacifer and he would go right to sleep. The only problem is just be ready to get rid of it latter. If your son can sit up, he can lay down. He is almost one. It's hard and breaks your heart, but trust your mind and body will feel much better once he starts going to sleep on his own. Start out patting his back and walking away. You can come back in 5 minutes, then 10 and so on. After a week he will go to sleep on his own.
have you tried to give him a paci? by now, he can go all night without nursing. he is probably waking up out of habit. perhaps you can leave the light off and when you go in, do not speak to him...just pat him and do the shhhhh and give him a paci and walk back out. maybe he will go back to sleep. you may have to do it a few times...space it out a little. if he gets the idea that he isnt going to be nursed, he will eventually get it and not wake up any more. also, he may be waking because his diaper is full?
How do you know he's not hungry, or as a previous poster suggested - teething? I can't believe how much time an energy gets put into trying to make a baby sleep to fit an adults needs. This waking up in the night to nurse, be comforted, etc. last only a short, short while. Then they sleep through the night and sometimes through the day when they are teenagers.
Don't go in when your husband is gone. He will eventually lay down. Just think how you will be HELPING him learn how to put himself back to sleep. I know it's hard, but you have to do this for the little guy. He will survive the night and be so happy to see you in the morning!!
Updated
PS: Reread Weissbluth & his advice on this. This will give you some support! The mom that suggested to wait a bit & go in just to pat him down also had a good idea! But you must be strong & leave right away!
No they don't always "know" how to get themselves back down into a sleep position again.
It is developmental that at certain ages, they will sit-up, pull-up, stand up in the crib. These will be upcoming developments.
Then when their coordination is in place, they will then know how to get themselves back into a sleep position, lying down, by themselves... from a sitting position or a standing-up position.
This is all normal.
At each change in motor skills ie: rolling over, sitting up, pulling up, standing... a baby "practices" these skills even when they are "supposed" to be sleeping. It is an impulse and they do not yet have impulse control at this age. Nor the muscle coordination.
So it will seem repetitious... for the parent.. but its normal. Whenever my kids attained a "new" motor skill.... they did this. Then once they were pulling-up and standing, they do this in the crib too. Its normal. It means their motor skills are developing normally.
A parent, at these junctures, has to help them or aide them to lie down again. Since they cannot do it on their own, perfectly and are still learning.
All the best,
Susan
