My 11 month old just recently starting hitting us in the face when we take her away from something she wants to be doing. Every once in awhile she will just do it out of the blue also. I usually tell her no, and that she has to be nice, but that is not working. I would really like this behavior to stop ASAP. Any suggestions on how to get it to stop?
Maybe she is fustrated becaues she wants to tell you something or talk, I would start showing her some sign languages, and try to remain calm, see if you can get her to show you what she wants. I would still say in a firm voice "Not ok, nice hands"
My daughter used to do that too. We would steady her hand and say "NO" like you did and then if she didn't calm down immediately, we'd put her in the playpen or set her somewhere safe and walk away to get her to understand that unacceptable behavior will lead to no attention or fun. :) I hope this helps a little. Just understand that it's normal.
People have already given you some good ideas about how to correct her behavior, but I have one small suggestion. You said she does this when you take her away from something she wants to be doing. Are you giving her some kind of advance warning that you will be interveening? I ask because my son was not very good with any kind of transition unless he was given some way to anticipate an activity would be ending. Obviously, this suggestion is no good if you are trying to take her away from something dangerous, but if it is a simple transition issue - then giving her some advance notice could help a lot.
I know this sounds silly, I thought so when my sons peditrition told us that he can be in time out. Not alone of course but you set them in your lap with your arms around the front of them so that they cant hit and so on and sit there and tell them that they need to "take a break" only sit there for a minute but they do get the picture and it does stop my son had that problem and it did take care of itself after about a weeek of this. I know that may seem like a long time maybe yours will be quicker!! Good luck
Hi J.~
So I'm going to assume that you don't have a violent little girl, right? It's not about hitting, it's about investigating causal relationships. If I hit, then I'll get this reaction. So I think the best thing is to be totally and completely consistent, every time with every person.
I've always suffered a little bit of confusion about what the right words are to say in that situation. With my son, I realized that he started thinking "gentle" meant "hit" because he'd hit and I'd say, "No, be gentle." So I had to really work to reverse that, by using the word gentle while doing gentle touches. In my experiencce, it's better to use the words for what IS happening, not what you want to see happen. So I'd go with "No hitting" or "no owies" or something like that.
As for what to do, that's tough. People kept telling me just to quickly put my son down when he'd hit, but the problem with that was that he didn't care at all. That was fine by him. So I just kept putting him down, trying to ride it out as best I could. I think this is a pretty common problem at this age. Just model gentleness for her as best you can, *especially* when she's not being gentle with you.
It'll pass, it's just a crappy phase. Good luck!
Hi J.,
I have 3 boys of my own and I also do a little daycare now and then. I am currently watching an 11 month old girl now. It's kinda funny to read your message because she is doing the same thing. She usually hits her mother when she comes to pick her up. I think it is more of an excitement issue for her, but she has done it to me as well. She hits me out of the blue, usually when we are just sitting and I am holding her.
I don't think it's a malicious thing for her or your son. I think its just an expiramental thing. But it is inappropriate behavior. Unfortunately at this age there isn't much for discipline that's appropriate either. I have been just grabbing both of her hands and give them just a slight squeeze as soon as she tries hitting, and telling her "NO" in a voice a litte deeper and louder than my normal tone. I don't want to scare her, but I want her to sense that the behavior/action does not make me happy. I have also heard that if you are holding the child and they hit you, you should tell them "no", give their hand a squeeze and put them down and walk away from them.
Good luck!
