11-Month Old Screams When She Wants Something

Don't overreact to it....it is just a phase. My son did that for a little bit too! Just be patient and soon enough she will find a better way to communicate her frustrations! :) Good Luck!

I used to look at my friend's little girl who was a few months older than my daughter and say to myself, "MY daughter will never scream." Oh my was I wrong. Though she is not the worst screamer/shrieker I have heard, my daughter will, on occasion, make my ears nearly bleed. I believe all kids go through this at one point or another, maybe just a short phase or sometimes a long phase. Hang in there. They are frustrated and can't communicate. It's not you. It's not even them. It's just the way it is for a time. And yes it's annoying...but it will pass. The only thing I found I could do to make it stop is distract her with a toy or food or something.

Good luck!
Holly

You can try teaching her sign language. My son is 11 months old and has learned bottle (or milk) in sign language, "more" and diaper change. These things are pretty much all he needs right now, and I'm hoping to teach him more. You can also teach her "eat," and other simple words. She should be able to catch on if you use the signs consistently. This has been a huge help and he can communicate to us. It has not hampered his talking or speech development. He can say ball (ba), and some other small words. Good luck!!

If you're interested in trying or learning more about sign language, we have found the book Sign with Your Baby by Joseph Garcia helpful.

Is she talking yet? My guess is it's just because she can't fully express what she needs/wants and as her language development progresses, it'll get better. It's also never too early to introduce the concept of "inside voice"...my son (2 1/2) sometimes gets really excited and starts to talk really loudly and he seems to respond to "inside voice". Also, try ignoring it - she might be trying to test reactions in other people...possibly ignoring it will take the steam out of that sail. Best of luck!

Have you considered (or are you already) using sign language with her? It can help with pre-verbal communication. The very basics of Please, Thank You, and More are pretty easy and helpful. You can also teach milk, food, etc. You may find yourself using the signs for years, when you and your precious daughter want to give each other little secret signals. :)

simple-don't respond to her when she does it.. just go on doing whatyou are doing and say to her calmly, I do not answer to that kind of tone, ask me nicely and I'll help you out.. it takes a while to get the point across and there will be lots of screaming, but she will get it eventually... good luck!

Dear K.,

My son started doing something similar around 10 or 11 months. I realized that I had gotten used to him playing on his own in the morning so I would read or email and only pay attention to him when he was whining... So I started to keep an eye on him as he played, I might say something to him, make eye contact and try to catch his complaints before they became a loud whine. This made a huge difference.
Also, if I know that he is safe, well fed, and rested and he starts a temper tantrum, I will ignore him completely until he calms down. They learn quickly what gets your attention and if it is whining, they will skip the other stages and go right to it.

I hope this helps,
A.

BABY SIGNS!!!! She is at the perfect age for it and CLEARLY she is desperate to communicate with you and just doesn't know how. Go to the library and check out some videos on baby signing that you can watch together. My daughter is now 12.5 months and has about 10 signs (all done, up, phone, doggie, fan, light, etc.) and she loves "talking" to us. She will even combine signs to let us know her series of thoughts. For example, I got out of the shower and had a towel around my head. She tapped her own head (noticing my towel), then signed "all done." She noticed that since I had the towel on my head, I was clearly all done with my shower! Then she couldn't reach the phone she wanted to play with and instead of screaming, she looked at my husband and signed "phone" so that he would hand it to her. You will love it!!

Have you tried teaching her baby signs? Then when she screams, you could model the sign for her and help her do it too, and then give her what she wants. She will start to connect that she has to communicate with a sign or word to get what she wants. Don't give in to the screaming or else you're teaching her that it works! =)

The only thing I can suggest - is to IGNORE it. think all kids go through this phase at one point or another - but you have to remember that it is a phase and will go away eventually - usually something new takes its place. But you really cant feed into it or it makes it a whole lot worse.

My daughter went through this and I thought I was literally going to go insane. It aggrevated me and made me want to scream just as loud. LOL. But seriously, I would ignore it and she eventually stopped after a short while.

At 6 mos my daughter growled, at 9 mos she just cried at 12 mos she shrieked and now (at 15 mos) she screams MOMMA until I have no choice but to turn around and say in calm voice "Sophia, Momma doesnt understand what you want when you yell like that" and usually after a minute or two she stops and calmly says "Momma" and points to what she wants.

Good luck.

A few people here have suggested sign language as a means to help children communicate before they can talk. I totally agree with this idea. We are teaching our 14 month old sign language through the video's "Signing Time" . . . I find that I don't have to go to a class this way, we can learn when it works for us, and my son likes the videos for entertainment as well as learning the signs; I also learn the signs with him, then we use them throughout the day. When he has started to yell loudly and I know he wants something I use a sign that I think is related to what he is trying to tell me...he loves seeing things done with the hands so just me signing and him realizing I'm trying to tell him something has stopped many a loud yelling/tantrum scene. From what I read on signing once they can sign it can cut down considerable on the terrible two's. I hope you find what works for you. Have a good day.

Good afternoon! I'm also a first time mom and have an almost 11 month old son. I can relate to the 'shrieking' you are talking about. We have been doing baby sign language since he was about 4 months old and has already picked up a few on his own! This really helps when he is "all done" or wants "more" of something. He's getting some others, too. He definately understands the more common ones (drink, milk, eat, play, mama, dada, diaper, etc.) and responds with a smile or turning his head. There are lots of books and DVD's out there. Baby Signing Time is the group we have used. Down the road, I am hoping this will alleviate some tantrums. Good Luck!

I am the mother of four daughters, 16, 14 and 8-year-old twins. I have always found that the quieter I get, the less they would scream, because they usually wanted to hear what I had to say, to some extent. My common response to screaming has been, "Once I hear quiet, I can help you" or "I can not understand you if you scream." Or, if they were a bit older, and wanted me to come to their room, but were screaming for it to happen immediately (not for any emergency), I would tell them I would be there once I heard quiet. This also helps build good manners later in such circumstances when you are in the vicinity of other people at some sort of workplace such as an office, doctor or otherwise. I would tell them that they needed to be quiet so the people could do their work. Some level of consistency is the most important. Good luck and don't forget to use some humor in every day life with her ... I'm a giggle head, but just seeing something as a bit funny with them every day seems to keep things a little lighter.

Try to use your words with her and have her try to make out the word as well, even if it doesn't come out sounding right, just keep repeating if she wants more food, say "more, more" or have her shake her head yes or no, they are very impressionable at this age and as I am sure you have noticed, she'll copy you a ton so this is the perfect time to start teaching her more words and how to communicate with her and she with others.

My son started doing this around this age as well. My husband and I worked on teaching him some basic sign language to help him express himself and let us know what he wanted and it totally worked. They have a few different websites online that show baby signs and it only took a few times of doing them over and over for him to pick it up. He is two now and talking and he still uses his signs while saying the words. It is really cute!

Hi -

My daughter did the same thing. What I do is ignore her or tell her that she can go get what she wants by herself. I also tell her to whisper and to use her quiet voice. It is difficult but I have found that my daughter screams less and less.

Hi,
I have three little girls. Oh, I know that shriek. We taught our girls some sign language, which they started to use at about 10 months. Some of the basic signs were more, please, and then we learned the signs for things each kid generally wanted. (eat, bear, apple) We also made a few up if the sign was too hard for our kid to sign so young. (blankie) Some signs I would sign as is (water) and they would come up with their own version that was easier. The signing allowed my kids to get across what they needed without having to scream as often.
Good luck.

i've seen everyone's comments about communiating and sign language - and i agree - this is a very frustrating time for both you and her - learning to understand what she wants. i didn't do any formal signlanguge video but came up with gestures of my own that we both understood. like she was screaming when her oatmeal was all gone - so we simply started showing her the bowl - and saying "all gone" she soon learned that the empty bowl/plate etc... meant that it was all gone... hungry: pinched her fingers together and tapped her mouth etc..... all done: like all done eating - waving her hands in front of her palm down....

easy way to start this is to you do the signals while saying what they mean - also routine helps - if you do the same thing every day with small little phrases .... morning: "bib on" "time for oatmeal" "drink your milk" "all done" "clean up" "get dressed" "shirt on" - i found that if i narrated every stepp in these 2-3 word phrases she was understanding more.... i was so surprised one morning when she got up - i wnet to get her out of her crib and she said "omeal" "mil" "cup".... she now says "bibo" which is bib on etc....

this has now grown into Q and A - she's 20 mos now.... she is very independant - wants to feed herself do her own high chair buckles etc... so when i know she needs help i say "what do you need" and she replies "help"..... she'll say "more" i'll repsond with "what do you say" and she says "pease"....

Congratulations!!! You have a communicator on your hands. When she screams for what she wants, label and point to the object. Often out of frustration a new skill is developing. Also, tell her that hurts your ears and talk to her in the quiet voice you would like to hear. Praise her every time she uses a nicer voice and not that high-pitched shriek. I can appreciate how annoying and loud it is because my daughter did this too. She is now 2 1/2 years old and only does that high pitched scream on rare occassions and usually outside where it is appropriate.

Good luck and enjoy the communication with your little one!

Hi...I have an 11 month old as well. Also a 4 and 5 year old too. This I think can be an important learning time for them. It's important to not give in to her screaming. That will teach your child to scream to get her own way. The best advice I can give you is to distract her. Give her something else to play with. their attention can be averted rather easily at this age.
Good luck!

We teach our kids at my center sign language in the infant and toddler rooms. It helps to aleviate some of their frustration so they can communicate with us and ours too. I know just the shriek you are speaking of LOL!! You could teach her milk, more, diaper etc. you could even teach her please and thank you if you like. You'll be surprised how fast she'll catch on.