10 Year Old Step Son Suddenly Crying, Acting Different,

Hi L J
The first thing I would do is sit him down and talk to him. Ask him if anything has changed at home that would cause him to miss his mom so much. It could be that his mom has a guy friend that your step son has not become use to. And he may feel as though when he is at your house that his mom is spending time with her friend and not thinking of him. I know this sounds crazy but when children are at this age and their parents start taking an interest in someone, the children some times act out in strange ways.

Try to get him to talk without making him feel as though you are prying. He may not want to come right out and share information with you. Try asking him if there was something that he wanted to do at his mom's house but couldn't do it because he had to come visit his dad.

See if there is anything going on at school that he will discuss with you. Behavioral changes can be very stressful, especially when you don't know the cause of them. If you have to, go to your step -son's school and speak with his teachers. Ask them if something may have happened that you don't know about. If possible don't let him know that you will be going to the school. Kids don't always like for parents to know what is going on at school even if they don't know how to handle things themselves.

I hope this helps. Be blessed!!!

I am a child of divorce and I will tell you it is very difficult to be expected to go one place then the other. Even when you love both of your parents. Sometimes you just want to be "normal" You want to go home to the same house, do the same thing.

I remember having to change my behavior for each place,.. My mom was not as intense as my dad. My dad did not cook, so there was the stress of "what are we going to eat?" Little things like this.. I never seemed to have my books or games that I wanted with me.. I got tired of always having to tell the same stories to both sets of parents.. My father's wife had her family (no children) and I was not close to them, they were not used to kids, so they did not really do anything with us girls when they visited. I felt like my dad and his wife did not not what to do with us. I never flt like there home was my home.. NEVER...

If my parents were having disagreements, I did not want to take sides, but I was sometimes confused about each sides story.I just wanted them to stop.

Once I was a teenager, it got even worse. I DID not want to go to my dads house, because I wanted to hang out with my friends and had clubs and activities, parties to attend... but my dad lived across town and felt like I needed to spend time with him.. My mom would have to force me to suck it up and just go. If we didn't want to go or whatever, we did not want to hurt my dads feelings, so we would BEG my mom to tell him and of course that lead to My dad and his wife blaming my mom.. You can imagine the guilt we had.. It was terrible stressful and even as I write this, I feel that same horrible feeling. ..

Do you allow the son to invite friends over? Is he allowed to play at his friends homes even on your weekends? Is his dad involved in his sons school activities or after school activities? Do you all do things with sons friends parents?

Maybe you guys could sit down and ask son, what would make him happy in your home. Tell him not to worry about being polite or hurting your feelings (and mean it) Then allow him to speak freely. Thank him once he opens up and see if you all can come to an agreement about any changes that may be needed for visitations..

I think you sound wonderful. I know you want your husband to be close to his son and be happy. It takes a lot of work in "regular" families it is even harder in your situation, but I think you all can work through this.

This could be so many things. When he is at your house, does he have other friends he plays with? Maybe something happened over one of their houses and he does not know how to deal with it.

Has there been any change in your home? Any thing at all? It could seem small to you, but could be upsetting to him.

Is his mom in another relationship? Maybe the new friend is not being nice to his mom and as the "man" of his house, he may be scared that she will get hurt when he is not around.

Maybe his mom has said something to him that has upset him.

When he is having a good moment, maybe he and his dad could go out for a walk. Maybe a good man to boy talk will help get to the bottom of this. IF your husband is not "gentle" with words, maybe it could be you and your step son. Just tell him you notice that he seems unahppy and you would like to change what ever it is that is bothering him. If he clams up, maybe this is serious. Just tell him that everybody needs someone they can talk to so they don't keep sad feelings inside them and what ever he wants to tell you, he won't get in trouble for.

It really doesn't seem normal for him to all of a sudden be this upset.

Have you guys talked to his mom to see if something is going on over there? Does she know he is getting upset?

If things don't return to normal soon I would ask the mom to make an appointment with his pediatrician.

We often as parents, get upset when our kids are hurting and we don't know why. Don't get frustrated. Your concern for him shows.

My first thought is that you need to see what has changed in your household. The behavior is happening too suddenly for an issue to be ongoing. Something has happened. Are there new friends in your life, new neighbors, new children...? What is mom able to get out of him? Sounds like all the adults and the boy need to get together and tell him you love him and realize something isn't going right and see if you can get him to open up.

I was thinking a new neighbor may be bullying him or playing not nice games with him. It may also be a ploy on the moms part to get visitation limited. If he hates going over to dads so much it makes him sick then a judge is more likely to limit the visits at this age. If you are all together then he can't play anyone against the others.