10 Year Old Son Diagnosed ADHD Possiably Bipolar - Anyone Have Advice

I admittedly do not know about bipolar disorder, but my daughter has at least 8 major medical/psychiatric diagnoses and is medically disabled. We go to multiple specialists, and I do a tremendous amount of research, insurance paperwork, and record keeping.

It sounds as though your son is going to need help with several issues. Here, in a nutshell, are the things that have saved my sanity.

1. Note-taking. I have a binder with a legal pad in it. I write questions that I think of for upcoming appointments. Example: dermatology appointment on the 8th. Remember to ask dermatologist about that new spot, or the itching, or a new cream we're trying. I also take notes during the appointment. Doctors frequently say things in the course of the appointment that I want to think about later when I have time, or research further. Or they might throw out an idea - "try taking that med an hour earlier", and I write that down so I can remember it all later.

2. Record keeping. I have a 20 pocket very sturdy portfolio (looks like a briefcase - got it at an office supply store). One pocket for each calendar year, with important results, blood tests, doctor's notes filed in chronological order. One pocket is for neuro-psych testing regardless of year. One pocket is for CDs of MRIs and CT scans.

3. Access to info. On the significant records (like the one where the bloodwork first definitively showed Lupus, for example), I put a red flag (one of those post-it flags). Then I keep a separate piece of paper in a separate pocket with the red flags' location and what they represent. Example: 2011, red flag showing positive Lupus markers. If a doctor asks when or where she was diagnosed with Lupus, I look at the red flag list and I can pull out exactly the blood work results I'm looking for. I also keep a timeline. It's amazing how, in the hubbub of an appointment, a doctor can say "when was that surgery?" and all of a sudden I can't recall - there's so much info swirling around in my brain. Look at the timeline. That surgery was in 2010. It saves a lot of time.

4. Only one pharmacy. We do not switch pharmacies, and develop a good relationship with the pharmacist. They are invaluable when it comes to medication questions (timing, dosage, what foods to avoid, side effects, etc).

This is how I get through multiple specialists, multiple tests, and complicated medical records. I hope your son gets the help he needs.

Well, mommy G, bipolar isn't really diagnosed until they're older but those who've dealt with it know that there are lots of signs that lean that way.

BUT, bipolar doesn't cause seizures and keep people from talking for 4 years. That's worrisome that this therapist decided that ADHD and Bipolar came from that.

Please make an appointment with a certified psychologist that is legally able to make a formal diagnosis. Also, I hope you've worked with a neurologist over the years to keep your son medicated for his seizures and have worked to find the cause of them. That is a biological and physical medical illness. Not a mental health disorder such as depressions, bipolar, or ADHD would be, they'd be treated by a psychiatrist. Only psychiatrist should give prescriptions to a patient for mental health issues. BUT they can work well with a primary care doc so that they are on the same page. That way no one is giving a medication that counteracts with another medication someone else is giving them.

Our Kiddo was diagnosed with ADHD-inattentive type last year. We have gone to see specialists since he was about 4, when it was suggested to us that he might have a nonverbal communication issue. He's had eye therapy to correct/help some vision issues. He's had an EEG for something which looked like a series of absence (petit mal) seizures. Last year's ADHD dx was a walk in the park compared to the waiting game to find out if he had epilepsy. (The neurologist didn't entirely rule out future seizures, either.) And it was brought to our attention recently that he might even be autistic. Which, given his quirks and history was not an entirely surprising suggestion.

All of that said, I am familiar with waiting. What I have learned over time, because of these experiences, is that there is one thing to hold onto in all of this:
All of these words and labels do not change who my son IS.

It doesn't take away from his positive attributes. It might help me deal with some of the harder moments, a diagnosis sometimes gives us tools in how we understand where our kids need more help. It may bring really good, amazingly helpful people into our lives, as we can attest... the psychologist who we work with for the ADHD has been incredibly helpful and informative and kind. While we struggle with some things as a family, he acknowledges how committed we are and has told our son on several occasions that "your parents work harder than a lot of parents to help you"... Even while telling us where we need to tweak what we are doing.

I think that is the crux of it for me: we work hard to acknowledge where our son is feeling/doing well, to acknowledge the effort behind it,and to just be content in *who* he is, here and now. I know from my own childhood and see from other kids how hard it is to be a 'project' for a parent, who looks at the child and sees only the places which need improving upon and not the whole child.(and be aware, I'm not saying this is what you are doing, just bringing up an observation) The waiting game makes us anxious to 'fix' yet another part of our child's life. And this isn't to belittle the hardship of it.... we are tempted to want everything to be as good as possible for our kids. GOOD PARENTS do that! We just have to remember to take a lot of deep breaths and also *enjoy* what we can about our kids.

You received a lot of great advice below, esp. Elena's organizational skills. (I have manila envelopes stuffed with papers, so she gets kudos for her finely-tuned system!) I feel that, like many things in life, there is a "head/heart" piece which needs addressing here. In my head, I know that an autism dx for my son (or not) does not change WHO he is, the bright star in my life, my heart. Try to keep that belief in mind; a diagnosis is just that -- information, not an *outcome*. Hang in there!

I'm guessing the seizures were from a fever or something like that? Otherwise he should have been referred to a neurologist. You don't mention this so I'm guessing that was an isolated incident.

When diagnoses like this are made, you need a pediatrician and a child psychologist trained in diagnosing kids working together.

My sister has bi-polar disorder. Initially she had very huge mood swings and hers kicked in around puberty. I do know younger kids can be diagnosed. You don't mention what his signs or symptoms are.

My sister's main symptoms were depression. Incredible lows. Kind of erratic behavior. Sometimes she seems manic. Definite start and finish to a period where this all happens. She has to be on medication. She's gone on to have kids and have a full life but it is something she has to manage.

ADHD to me is quite different. It is frustrating to have different diagnoses. We've been there. My son was misdiagnosed as Autistic early on. You have to be your child's advocate. Take charge and see the best qualified specialists you can. Ask questions. Speak up. Definitely keep track of what concerns you. Sometimes just filling out forms or questionnaires (which some psychologists rely on) is not enough. I found they misinterpreted a lot of behaviors because you can't always fill it on a scale of 1-5. It's very subjective. So film your child, bring examples of concerns with you, if you notice it's worse some days than others, keep a log.

Good luck :)

Waiting is torturous in cases like this. I can't give you medical advice, but I can give you some hope. My 25 year old daughter was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 15. She had about 6 years of really struggling until she was properly diagnosed and medicated. Times were tough, but now she is living a happy and productive life. I've often hear that if one has to have a mental illness that bipolar disorder is the most treatable with the best success rate.

I would suggest finding a good psychiatrist to diagnose him--therapists usually don't do the diagnosing. I wish you and your family all the best.

I almost cried when I read Nervy Girls's post. Perfect. Just perfect.

My son was diagnosed both Bipolar and ADHD actually much later in life. What a relief. IT is treatable! He didn't have seizures and he spoke a lot as he grew up. What did happen is that he became very different. Too long to write about right now. I don't have any advice right now. I actually want to tell you that you are very lucky that there are people working on this with you now while your child is young. I think we could have skipped a lot of anguish if someone had helped us like this early on. Good luck to you and believe me, I am madly in love with my son and so grateful for the people who helped diagnose this. He is living a wonderful regular life after so much anguish.