D.C.
Dear One...I understand your dilemma and your frustration. It sounds like your lil one is being startled in the middle of the night.
It could be a multitude of things from no sound to being chilled due to temperature fluxuation to hunger or traumatic stress.
The key here would be to do the same thing everynight at the same time. Babies need routine...make sure she is getting enough satisfying food at dinnertime. Maybe a snall snack at bedtime before a warm bath. Then a warm bottle of milk to go to sleep.
Do you have a loud ticking clock you can put in her crib...if not, maybe some soothing music that can be played allnight long? This will dull any outside noises that may startle her. Make sure she is warm so that her body temp stays the same. Those one piece fleece night coveralls or a fleece blanket will help.
In the meantime, L....I will pray about this, asking God to show you what is the problem and to give you wisdom to find the solution to this problem.
Something during the day may be disrupting your lil one...either not getting enough food or some kind of trauma that is causing your lil one stress.
In the meantime, you and your husband may want to trade off nights in handling this situation until it is resolved so that at least one of you is getting a full night's sleep and a break from this disruption of your sleep.
I totally agree with not bringing the baby into bed...bad idea. Spending time with her before bedtime is important for a working mom...finding out what the problem is the key...then you will know the solution. Have a blessed evening! di