10 Month Old Using Utensils

H.,
my son is 20months he can feed himself but he just started using utensils he started walking when he was 15months and his speech is very limited so see nothing is wrong with you daughter

I've never even handed Jaidyn (10 months old) a utensil...oops...and only I brush her teeth. She does use a straw but that's only because she's no good at the sippy cut thing. Wow!!! I'm totally shocked to hear this. I had no idea.

That is crazy! I have three children and although at about the age of one they wanted to use utensils I would not let them until they were about two. They sling food everywhere. I think at about the age of one they at least should want to try. Not be doing it, but want to try.

My daugher didn't use any utensils until about 12 months and didn't try to brush her teeth until around 18 months. I can't remember when she started drinking from a straw but that was later than 10 months also. Don't worry about it. If she can pick up Cheerios and other small things then she has the fine motor skills and hand/eye coordination that is needed to use utensils. Try giving her a spoon when she is eating snacks or let her try holding it when you are feeding her. She'll use it when she is interested, which she probably isn't right now. Also, if she is around other kids who are older and use a fork and spoon to eat, that might encourage her to try it, too.

First of all. HOW RUDE!!!! Your daughter is just fine!!!! My one year old is still on the bottle and he is no more developmentally behind than that woman's manners and tact are! All children are different and develop at their own pace. Is my child develpomentally behind because he is not feeding himself, or ahead, because he is already walking? I will say it again, your daughter is FINE!!!! Pay her no mind, go with your instincts and tell that lady that your kid is PERFECT!!

H.,
I wouldn't say that she is slow because ALL children develop in their own little way. After all she isn't even a year old. She will do things like that in time. Just work with her. But, remember she is an individule and will progress at her own rate

No one, not even a "professional" can tell you that your child is truly behind developmentaly. Each and every child learns at his or her own pace. Don't push your daughter. She is learning every thing she needs to be by watching you. She'll let you know when shes ready to use her own fork and spoon. she'll see you using them and hold out her hand for one of her own. Let her play with one before you try to show her how to use it. It may have nothing to do with development. She may just simply not be comfortable with using them yet. If you push her to use something shes not ready to she could resent you and refuse to use it at all. Just because some one has a MD attached to theire name tag dosen't mean they truly know whats best for YOUR child. They are only taught generalities. (please forgive my spelling, I don't have an MD attached to my name tag either :) )

My son just turned 1 on the 14th and he is not doing that. To me your daughet is way ahead of my son, he is just now starting to free stand and take a couple of steps. Sometimes the specialist are only book smart and not "parents". I would go with your gut feeling, for me it has always been right, so if you feel she is fine then she is. Hope this helps

C.

Wow - I'm no Dr, but my daughter just turned 13 months and she JUST started to try and feed herself with utensils and brush her teeth. Sounds like your 10 mo old is right on track, if not ahead of the game! My daughter started the sippy cup at 11 months and just tonight started walking around for more than 5 steps. Sounds like you can stop going to see the specialist to me.

H., far be it for me to disagree with the "specialists" - no disrespect intended. I do however, remember a specialist telling me once that my son, who was three at the time, was showing signs of autism because he wasn't communicating with his teacher or classmates at head start. His teacher was also concerned because he had a habit of staring at the displays in the classroom and he would not respond to her the way the other children did. My son told me what he would have told her if she had bothered to ask. He was looking for his name on the boards (we had been working with his letters), and he didn't respond to her because he thought she was mean (still haven't figured that one out, but I can guess). He was also used to playing by himself, since his next oldest sibling was 13 at the time. Now he is considered gifted, gets along well with all of his teachers, and has more friends than my house can handle. Children develop at different paces, and your daughter seems to me to be doing exceptionally well for her age. I personally don't see any need for you to worry. Then again, I'm not a specialist, just a mother.

H., you are her mother and you know her best, so I certainly wouldn't let someone tell me my child is behind in anything. Children will do everything in their own time and your daughter seems to be just fine with everything. I too had preemies, my twins were born at 34 weeks and my pediatrician from the first visit, always told me never to compare my children to any other child, because preemies usually don't catch up to other children their age until 2 yrs of age. My twins are now 20 months old and both of them do things at different ages. Like your daughter, my son has never wanted me to feed him, not even baby food, so they started eating finger foods probably alot sooner then they should of. They both do things at different times. My son will do something before my daughter and vise versa. Your daughter seems like she is progressing very well. Just like they tell you not to read all those baby books during pregnancy, so you won't scare yourself. Try not to let what they tell you throw you off to much. Another thing to remember is you daughter is 10 months old, but she was born 7 weeks early, so she is actually going to do things more in line with an 8 1/2 month old. Like I said earlier, you know your baby girl, and if they upset you that much, I would not take her back. I would also look for another pediatrician, I absolutely love our pediatrician, if you would like his number, I would be happy to give it to you. Good luck to you.

The nerve of some "specialists!" Kids develop at their own pace. My son isn't attempting to use his toothbrush, and he's 17! Oh, wait, maybe that's because he's a slob...Seriously, though, he also didn't use a straw until he was 2, probably. Even more impressive- my youngest daughter didn't talk until she was 3! And now, at 4.5, she won't shut up! Don't fret. Kids have their own milestones and interests.

I personally wouldn't hold much weight in what they are saying. Every child develops at different times. Ask your ped. what they think. Look on line at some of the websites like babycenter.com to see what they say is normal. I agree with you that most kids her age aren't doing what is expected from this specialist. If you are overly concerned, then start with a spoon and yogart or cheerios and applesauce. Something that will really stick to the spoon and she will like. It will be very messy at first, but she will pick it up overtime. Like I said earlier, I wouldn't worry about it too much. 10 months seems very early for what they are asking. Another place you could call is Project Enlightenment in Raleigh, NC. It is run through Wake Co. schools, but specialized in development and behavior birth through Kinder. They have a Talkline you could call to see if the information you are getting is correct.

That's a load of crap! If she's doing those things then that's great, If she's not, give it a few months + she will be. I knew 2 mothers who had a baby 2 weeks before me + 2 weeks after me. I got reports all the time on the things thier kids were doing, all the things mine wasn't doing yet, but ya know what, he's 2+1/2 now and does everything that every other kid does. If she's like 2 and doesn't want to try + brush her own teeth or try to pick up a spoon,ok, maybe you should ask a doctor about that, but until then don't worry about it. All kids have their own timing. When she want's to become more independent, she'll do these things on her own. If you are a soldier's wife you have alot more to worry about. Don't let that doctor scare you.

H.-

Don't worry a bit. My daughter will be 10 months Saturday and she has no interest in utensils...straws...or tooth brushes for that matter. I say let them be a baby as long as possible. She doesnt even like the sippy so she gets a bottle. At 12 months I may have to "push" a change to the sippy but despite what her dr says it will not kill her to have a bottle. Every child is different and I think your daughter is just fine. I know a few other 10 month olds who won't try to stand or cruise and mine is just catching on to the walking. Just let what that dr says go in one ear and out the other or explain to your ped that you don't want to make a return visit. It is after all your choice.

Hi,

I'm V. from Durham and have a 12 yo and a 5 1/2 yo. I can't remember exactly how old they were when they started attempting to use utensils or brush own teeth but I wouldn't day she is behind developmentally. All children are different. My sister's youngest just turned 2 this month and I don't think he was using utensils or trying to brush his own teeth at that age. Even now he uses his fingers a lot. Although you should try to encourage independence and how to use the utensils toddlers and preschoolers love small finger foods. There are many other signs to look out for when it comes to what is normal developmentally at that age because as far as the use of utensils or attempting to brush own teeth it may just boil down to whether it is interesting to her. This is just my 2 cents. I bet she is a very smart, adorable little girl. Sometimes too much emphasis is placed on the small things. We are all individuals and some of us grow up to be doctors or lawyers but some are clearly going to be future artists. I hope this helps in some way. :o)

Take care,
Val

The developmental specialist you went to see sounds completely ridiculous...I have never heard of any baby feeding/brushing his/her own teeth! My daughter, who's also 10 months, sounds exactly like yours, cruising, trying to stand, holding a bottle...You really should just ignore what that specialist said.

Absolutely ridiculous! I recommend the books "What to Expect the First Year" and "What to Expect the Toddler Years". It's the same people that wrote "What to Expect when You're Expecting". Anyway, I don't specifically remember if my son was using utensils, but I do know that every milestone he hit was at HIS own pace. Every child is developmentally unique. What would prompt this comment? Are there concerns in other areas? Without knowing your anything else it's hard to say and i am no doctor. I do recommend those books though. HTH Good Luck & God Bless!

-J.

You have NO reason to worry!!! I don't know what that "specialist" is thinking!! I have a 12 month old boy who chews on his toothbrush, but certainly can't brush his teeth. He also plays with utensils, but can't get the food in his mouth with it. He still doesn't walk, but crawls and cruises around furniture and at his 1 year check up my doctor said all this was perfectly normal!!! I was a little worried and he said it's normal for some children not to walk until they are 18 months. Enjoy all the little steps your healthy child does and forget that "specialist"!!!!!

My daughter is 10 months old and the only thing she does with utensils of any kind (spoon, toothbrush, etc.) is chew on them. I think it's a bit unrealistic for that doctor to expect a baby that young to be "using" utensils. As long as your baby is healthy otherwise and doesn't show any significant delays, I wouldn't worry about it. And I might consider switching doctors :-)

My daughter was definately not trying to brush her teeth or drink from a straw at 10 months. My daughter used to bang around with utensils, but hardly anything ever made it into her mouth. I remember every good book that I read on child rearing said that children often focus on one skill at a time. They may work solely on one skill to master it, then they move on to something else, seemingly forgetting how to do the first. Fine motor skills like that are the last to develop and maybe your daughter is focusing on something else, there is just so much to learn at that age. By the way, my daughter is now five and doing fine, even without trying brushing her own teeth at 10 months old.

Can you say money hungry, and unethical!!! What a load of crap. I am sure they would say that my brother was developmentally behind too, becuase he did not walk until he was 14 months old, and he is now one of the most successful,well rounded, and best people I know, not to mention...he walks, runs, and does everything just fine!

Let them be little. They are only little for a short while. Sounds to me that your baby is doing just fine. I would trust your instinct. I would tell that specialist bye-bye....

My daughter is 14 months now and she barley uses utensils and hates having her teeth brushed, and she runs the tooth brush through her hair. I can tell you...there is NOTHING wrong with my daughter. I am no Dr, however I think if you wait a few more months you will see you daughter is perfectly normal too.

H.,

I have a 4 yo. daughter that is extremely advanced and has always been. Example, she was saying 3 word sentences at 10 months. And she was not doing all of those things. And i had to actually force her to take a sippy cup at 12months. Based on what you wrote, I believe your daughter is right on schedule. She is doing everything I've ever read in any of my books. You may want to start letting her try to do the things the specialist said she "should" be doing. But there is no way she should be doing them at this time. Do NOT Worry!!!! God Bless you and your Husband for your service to protect our country!

I once sent my poor husband to take our son to the ped and she yelled at him because charlie was only eating goldfish at that time when he was 12 months and had his first ear infection. Hello who kid doesn't boycott normal food when they are sick. These drs dont know that don't really know what is going on in your childs day to day life. I remember her always grilling me on how many words he knows... sorry I don't count them personally I know some moms do but I forget to. I couldn't stress over it. She also thought it was noraml that he had had cronic constipation since he was 6 weeks old. Shows what they know with their big ol degree.

Hi H.- what everyone else is saying to you- believe it.

My daughter is two weeks away from being a 1 year old and we give her utensils, but she is usually banging it on her tray and picking up her food with her fingers. Her toothbrush, on the other hand, she loves. I obviously start off the brushing, but she likes to "suck" on it after I'm done....not really brushing on her own.

You have to remember, every child does things at their own pace. You can certainly encourage these things by always giving her utensils at feeding time or by brushing your teeth in front of her- but don't let that doctor upset you. Your daughter is 10 months old- she's not 2.

One other thing- my daughter doesn't drink from a straw either. I've even tried it a few times and she just puts her mouth on it.

My daughter has been crawling since 7 months, pulling herself up and walking along things since she was 8-9 months old and she's walking at 11 months. No developmental delays here...you're best bet is to cancel the appointment and stick with your pediatrician.

Unbelievable! I have five children and they all went at different times, even our set of twins. The twins turned four back in April and need help with scooping rice and comparable things like that occasionaly! Our oldest was feeding himself great at 18 months while our second son had no interest in utensils until after 24 months! :) If you are concerned and want your daughter to have interest in these things make them toys. Our 28 month old daughter has a little plastic tupperware full of plastic spoons and forks, I found some at the Dollar Tree and some are Disney Princess. I also gave my children a spoon when feeding them to let them "help"! At night we have always let our children "brush" first then Daddy after them, for a real clean. I wouldn't worry about your daughter, just start incorporating these items into her play/routine. She will catch on quickly, I know sometimes in rushes we don't think to even use some of these things that "Specialist" say they should be using. So, if the subject comes up just find a fun way to add those things into her life! Good Luck! :)

thats absolutly ridiculous! my soon did not use utensils at that age never crawled at all and yet was walking at 9 months, talking at 11 months and learning colors by 13 months so i would just put it off if you can or get a second opinion so you can stop dealing with it all together...and by the way my girl friends son didnt talk till he was 2 not one word and the naval hospital ped clinic said it was "no big deal"....so i think you are probably the best person to judge if your child needs to see anyone about their developement

I would get another opinion. I would take her to another pediatrician just to see what they think of her development. My little girl did not do either of these things for some time after her 1rst birthday and some even later. Children really do develop different things at different stages. There is a very broad normal range. Don't let someone push you into something you feel in your heart is not a concern. I think specialists, etc. have gone a little overboard in trying to identify "problems" early. Sometimes I think they jump the gun.

my son is a year on thursday and will play with the utensils and make a huge mess, but doesn't actually use them. he uses a sippy cup but a straw? i don't think that is even appropriate yet. and brushing teeth??? he lets me brush his teeth and will chew on his toothbrush but just yesterday actually moved it in a back and forth motion on his gums. i think your specialist is not so bright. all the other 12 month olds i know are in the same spot as my son. i think your daughter is fine. i would consult with your pediatrician before bringing her back to the specialist.

Hi H.,
Try not to place too much value on the literature. There is a VERY, WIDE range of normal. I use the books to get ideas of what to try next with her. If she's not interested, we try something else, but sometimes I am pleasantly surprised. Children all develop at different paces in different areas. My 16 month old is my second and it is SO hard not to compare her to my first, because she walked at 12 months. And the 16 month old is still not walking. I think once she does, she'll probably RUN and I better be careful what I wish for. I also realize that she is much more verbal and inquisitive that other children her age. I try to appreciate each of my children for who they are. Enjoy!
P.