I know I am not alone and it is not SO unusual but I am TIRED. My almost ten month old usually wakes up twice during the night to feed (seems very genuinely hungry and refuses to go back to sleep without a long breastfeeding session). She was sleeping through the night wonderfully at four months old but after a family vacation at 5 months she has drifted back to two wake-ups.
She sleeps in her crib in our studio apartment and usually can get herself to sleep for both naps and bedtime about 50-70% of the time - the other times my husband or I rock her to sleep and very seldomely I will nurse her to sleep. She goes to bed around 8 and wakes up between 7:30 and 8:30 in the morning, with two naps around 10 and 2 (30-90 minutes depending on how she slept the night before). She has become a pretty picky eater but usually eats at least 2 good meals a day and a small third one; nurses 5 times during the day and twice at night.
We are not necessarily opposed to CIO but it doesn't seem feasible in our situation since she can see us ignoring her (120 square foot apartment - moving is not an option at least for the next several months). It could be a possibility for me to sleep in a different (very nearby) apartment for a few nights and let my husband try to wean her away from night feedings with mom not there (might be easier on her? Or maybe much harder...I don't know). Also I am concerned that she may genuinely need that middle of the night milk since she dropped from 50to percentile weight to 10th percentile between her 6b and 9 month check-ups, though her pedi suggested we still try to get her down to at least only one nighttime feeding.
To top it off (the real issue) is that I am 8 weeks pregnant and completely exhausted. With my first I was needing 10 hours of uninterrupted sleep at this stage of pregnancy and right now I am lucky if I get 2 four-hour sleep cycles in a week. I am sneaking in a nap a day usually and going to bed as soon after my daughter does as I can but am still super tired.
Anyone have any ideas or suggestions? There seems to be very little resources online about parents sleeping in studio apartments with babies and toddlers. We are likely to try to fit our second one in our tiny little home too, until s/he is mobile...but not totally decided yet. Thanks in advance!
Thanks for all your thoughts and helpful ideas! We trudged along with 1-2 wake ups a night and my pregnant body being more and more tired (and then less and less, gratefully when I got into the second trimester). At 11 1/2 months one day I decided enough was enough and we would do a 3-day CIO trial and see if we made any progress. I put my little girl down to sleep after a bottle (she was mostly weaned by then, which I think really helped) and explained to her with an energetic smile, "No more milk until the sun comes up". She woke up around 2 am like usual and I simply got up, patted her back and laid her down. She fussed for no more than 10 minutes, but never all-out screamed. The next night the same thing happened but she only fussed for about a minute before going back to sleep. By the fourth night she didn't wake up and hasn't since then except when she is sick. Wow. So much easier than I had anticipated. So very grateful. I guess she was ready and just needed a little push. I do think that a month or two earlier she wouldn't have done so well with it but all is over and done with now. : )
What worked for me and I am pregnant and still breastfeeding is having my son sleep with us. He could latch on and I could go back to sleep really quickly. good luck to you.
if you can, get a bigger bed, or just put two or more mattresses adjoining on the floor (making sure they're the same level and no gaps between), sleep with her, nurse her back to sleep when she wakes up, and go back to sleep yourself. sleep whenever she does. get your husband and/or other people to take her for an outing while you get more sleep. it sounds like she is indeed hungry and will need her nighttime nursings for a while (and she's in the separation anxiety stage where she really needs to know you are always there for her). adventures in tandem nursing is a good book. you can do it!
She might be protesting the drop in your milk supply that comes with pregnancy. One thing you can try is to make a point of nursing her more during the day and she might get more of the non-milk benefits of milk during the day so she doesn't look for them overnight. If she's nursing for milk that won't help though.
Another thing you can consider is letting her sleep in your bed. Then you won't have to wake up all the way (or maybe not at all) in order to nurse her for those feedings.
I nursed through pregnancy and currently have two nursing toddlers. I understand the exhaustion! Let your husband do all the household maintenance, chores, cooking, everything so that you can sleep.
Not knowing the set up of your apt...could you hang a sheet or use screens to separate her crib from your space? Obviously it wouldn't block sound, but it would make it harder for her to see you ignoring her. We did CIO at about 10 months - I too was done waking up...after a few nights, she was fine. My kids share a room, so my husband slept in my sons bed, daughter in crib and my son slept in our bed for a few nights...it was definitely temporary, both no sleep just fine in their own spaces!
First, there are three things you can not make a child do, eat, sleep, or pee and poop when or where you want them to (sigh and sigh again when you are 8 month pregnant). But you can set things up to encourage them to do what you want.
I think you need to reduce the number of naps that you have her taking and move her nap toward noon time to even it out. Also watch how long she is napping. Reducing her nap time will tend to make her very sleepy at dinner time. When I first did this with my daughter she had a tendency to fall asleep in her dinner plate, and as funny as it was, it made the sleeping through the night not work. Also, don't let her fall asleep in her car seat. Same reason.
Increase her activity level. The point being to wear her out so she sleeps through the night.
Try feeding her some solids before bed time. She probably is hungry, and if you put her to bed with a full stomach she will sleep better.
All these things may help her sleep through the night. Good luck.
Sounds like you just need to feed her a hefty meal right before bed... you said she is waking up hungry, or make sure she is getting enough calories throughout the day. Even if it were a 2 bedroom apt it's hard to ignore a baby when they are hungry because they'll cry until you feed them. CIO only works if all the basic needs are met, otherwise it's kinda cruel. But yeah, sounds like she needs more feeding, which I know is hard when they refuse to eat (my 2 yr old refuses to eat sometimes) but you have to find methods to sneak it in, little snacks alot or little meals posed as snacks, etc. If I wake up hungry I eat so if the baby wakes up hungry she's gotta eat :P When you google stuff you don't have to be apt size specific just ignore the CIO methods. My 2 yr old wakes up every now and then because she's thirsty so I always keep a made sippy cup in the mini fridge (2 story) upstairs so I'm only up for a couple minutes... you could make a few bottles before bed in the case she wakes up, when my DD was 10 months she woke up a couple times a night and that's what I did.
Many, many breastfed babies wake to nurse for the entire first year. Your baby is not unusual!
It always amazes me that doctors and adults think it's ok to dictate to an infant that is growing by leaps and bounds that they aren't hungry at night and they don't need to eat. How would we as adults feel if we were told-nope you can't eat even though you are starving and it would make you feel better and help you get right back to sleep?
Infant sleep is never static and it is very common for baby to do really well, hit that 4 month mark and sleep changes. Same thing happened with my super sleeper second baby. And she never slept the same again till she was well over a year old. It just happens.
I know it stinks that you are pregnant and tired but parenting doesn't stop at night, because we get pregnant again, are sick, are tired, have to go to work in the morning, etc. Baby is telling you that she is hungry and you need to respond appropriately.
Night feedings can be a habit but a breastfed baby is very adept at telling you what they need so listen and follow your baby's lead. She doesn't know you are pregnant and tired. What she knows is that she is hungry.
Really, I think this is nature's way of getting you ready. Having 2 close in age is a lot of work and you are going to be tired for the next few years lol!
My aunt who had raised 8 children told me what to do to get a night's sleep.
Wake the baby up half an hour before you go to be and feed her. Imagine a little cereal to hold her through the night. Then nurse her and you put her down. She will sleep at least 5 hours.
Please read my earlier posts about CIO. Unless you want a very rebellious teenager do not do it.
Do not listen to pediatricians about babies and food they've been wrong for 70 years. One grandmother is better than 3 learned pediatricians when it comes to practical advice about raising babies.
Ok i didnt breastfeed but my sis did, from her i learned that it is pretty normal for breastfed babies to fall into a lower percentile both of hers did about that age. Now it sounds that your baby is getting plenty to eat. What i do know about is night feedings. They dont need it, it is habit. My daughter night fed til 11 mos...i had to break her of it and it sucked it was miserable, but i had to or breaking her from the bottle at 12 mos qouldve been even more miserable. My dr told me to offer her water in her bottle when she woke...yeah she wasnt having that! It took me three miserable nights to break her of night feedings. Let me tiuch with yiu on thechabit part of it. If you wake up one night at 2 am and want a midnight snack and you grab a couple of cookies and then 2 nights later you do it again you are making for a bad habit... And before you know it u ate up everynight sametime for 2 cookies.. Its the same with the baby. So the first night of no nightfeeding was awful... 2 am like clock work sje is up to eat. The bottle if water was a joke... So i put her in the car...yes at 2 am and we drove for one full hour it was she screamed until she just flat wore herself out... Pulled in the drive she woke up backedvout drove 10 more min and she was out.. Put her un her crib and she slept the rest of the night. Second night nit as bad the drive lasted 40 min and she didnt wake when we pulled up put her in crib and she slept all night...the third night the drive was 30 min then crib slept all night... The 4th night she didnt wake up, nor did she ever wake up at 2 am ever again.... Its one if the hardest things i had ever done but boy i felt such an accomplishment. Good luck. You just have to find something that works. Its not easy but put in the work sweat and tears and before long you will be sleeping again
