10 Month Old

Updated on May 05, 2008
M.C. asks from Thonotosassa, FL
13 answers

It seems like my 10 month old is already having temper tantrums :( He fights us to put him in his carseat, high chair and during changing diapers and clothes. He hates being in a high chair especially in restaurants. He just wants to get out and sit in our laps. I give him every single toy I have with me and he throws them on the ground and fusses to get out. So of course, Mommy has to tend to him the entire time and attempt to entertain him while we are trying to eat. I don't want to start having to hold him while I am eating. It's like he is fighting to get his way. It seems too early for discipline or time outs or evem temper tantrums...i don't think he understands. When I raise my voice at him to get his attention, he cries more. I want to stop this behavior NOW before it gets out of hand!!! Any advice? Thanks!

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K.C.

answers from Tampa on

My daughter started having temper tantrums around this age too. It's a difficult time. The best advice I can give is don't give in. Teach him now that no means no. It might make it really difficult the first few times, but he'll get the idea. It's ok to let them have temper tantrums. He is testing his limits. You have to be firm and let him know you are in charge. Good Luck.

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A.H.

answers from Sarasota on

That is not a temper tantrum,as I see it.It is his way of communicating at his age level,that he has opinions too.
It will pass,and is normal and healthy.But of course it is frustrating,mot to be able to enjoy a meal,without a baby in your lap.

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T.H.

answers from Tampa on

Please do not think that your son does not understand because he does. My son is 20 months and around 10 months is when the tantrum started. Here is how you make it thru:
1. Do not yell it scares him and frustrates you. What you need to say use a stern low voice. Kids respond to that better. My 20 month old still fights to get in his carseat. I am stronger than him so guess what. We fight daily with that changing diapers and him running.
2. Limit taking your child to resturants around naptime or later at night. The noise might bother him and he just wants to be held. Me and my husband take turns eating. Feed him from your lap that might help. Or just get a sitter.

Please don't think your alone because your not. He is not too young for time out. Make him sit for just 1 min. Now when I tell my son he is going into time out he instantly stops his disruptive behavior and puts his head in my lap.

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A.A.

answers from Punta Gorda on

Hi,

This will pass on its own, so there's no need to waste energy over it... that will only make it into a big deal when it's really not (though it can be aggravating!). I would either let him sit on your lap or stay away from restaurants.

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J.M.

answers from Tampa on

Welcome to parenthood. He's acting out because he can't tell you what is wrong at this age. We have all been there and it will get better. My 3 year old still has incidents where we don't want to go out to eat if she is going to be loud and running around. Our 6 year old didn't do that and we were spoiled. Just hang in there and take a deep breath. Maybe take-out is an option for awhile or have a sitter till he is ready to eat out. Good luck!

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A.H.

answers from Punta Gorda on

He is old enough to know that if he cries he gets his way don’t be fooled. My advice would be to make him sit in a highchair at home during meal times. I wouldn’t ignore him but don’t raise your voice to him just calmly talk to him and tell him when we eat we have to sit in a chair or something but don’t take him out until the meal is over with. Same with the other stuff just try to calmly talk to him and keep on like he isn’t crying. If you raise you voice then he knows he is getting to you and it wont be long before you give in. if you stay calm then that tells him it isn’t bothering you so continuing on is pointless. I know its hard but try to do the same thing in restaurants. I wouldn’t punish him for it I think he is still a bit young.

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B.B.

answers from Fort Myers on

Hi,

It is not too young for babies to scream, twist, cry, pull up and throw things. It is a form of a tantrum. I use this time to teach words. No in a firm but calm tone, is appropriate for the car seat backbends. Then when the baby relaxes, quickly buckly them in. Be still, is what I use for the diaper change, as well as a well placed hand on the hip or leg that is rolling. As for the high chair in a public place,
entertaining is the key. I usually fed my child while waiting for my food to arrive. I then gave cheerios, goldfish, or graduates finger food (such as the fruit puffs at that age).
This gave them the satisfaction of eating, not waiting to eat for so long at a table, and a better mood for a bottle or cup to soothe while I ate. There will still be lap sitting involved at some point. You can practice at home. But thinking about it, at home people do not come to the table until the food is ready and this is a new concept at a restaurant at mealtime. Hope this helps, B.

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J.O.

answers from Tampa on

Unfortunately, especially boys do not want to sit still in restaurants...I have a two year old who wants to run around in a restaurant and we do not take him out to eat ever...It's a sacrifice but I would order "to go" until he's old enough to cooperate. It's a waste of money if you can't enjoy yourself.

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L.H.

answers from Tampa on

Good Morning M.,

Congratulations on having your son!!!

Please don't ever feel that it is to early to begin setting those boundaries!!! PLEASE...... Children are very smart and they love to push everyone of our buttons...Not daddy's, mommy's!

I know how much you love him, but YOU must not fall into this emotional roller coaster ride he is putting you on. Trust me I know what I am speaking about. We adore our little boys and yes, I know everytime you breathe, it is for him. BUT, if you don't stop this behavior right now, you will become a true "stay at home mom!'

It is really not fair to you that you should take him places where he does not enjoy. Maybe its too early to put him in that environment. Don't feel bad, you have plenty of time.

The most important thing right now is to set your boundaries and make sure he understands completely what is and isn't acceptable. Otherwise, you will be dealing with some serious behavior by the time he's 4!

Hang in there girl and don't feel guilty. You are a wonderful mom and you will survive this. Just remember, he won't always be cute and adorable, teenage years come faster than you can imagine!! Deal now.....

L. Hein
Author
THE BOOK "I'm Doing The Best I Can!" (They won't always be cute and adorable)
www.lisarhein.com

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G.B.

answers from Naples on

Hi M.,

I have read your question, and actually feel a bit relieved. My nine-month old daughter is displaying very similar behaviour! And my thoughts have been the same as yours - is she too young to be acting naughty? And if she is, how do I manage it? I will be watching out for responses to your question, as it is in fact my question too! Good luck!

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J.W.

answers from Tampa on

Hi M.! My toddler came out having tantrums! You may think I am exaggerating...
She is 19 months now and I am constantly on top of her tantrums with timeouts and we started that before she was your sons age. Every parent does timeouts different, but I've found that consistency is the key. What I did was start her taking timeout in one corner of the house. Every time she got up I put her back. Then she got to the point that she would sit in one spot for as long as I left her there. After I had her used to it, I started putting her in timeouts in different parts of the house. Now when she acts up I will tell her to sit down where ever we are and she sits and knows she's in timeout and needs to be quiet. Sounds crazy, but I do it in restaurants, Gymboree, church, etc. My child is very dramatic, but I like to think it means she has a lot of fire in her and will do big things in life.
Keep bringing him places like restaurants. He will soon get used to it.

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I.C.

answers from Tampa on

Believed or not in this age they now what they doing .My son was doing this too .I did thus mistake pick him up and hold him in restaurant and later on he was even worst . My advise is start at home don't let him be the boss , he have to learn to sit in his chair and in restaurant too .Stick to rutine and don't give up . Start going to macdonald !But don't give up even when he will cry a lot .
Take me 2 years to teach my son how he need to behave in restaurant .Tanks Good!
My 5 months old was crying in car sit too but few times I did not give up and he is better . I now is hard to listen them cry but think that this for they own good

Good luck I.

K.H.

answers from Fort Myers on

make sure his needs are met, then tell him sternly NO. dont laugh dont baby him. after you tell him no, you ignore it. it will come and go. hes testing you. dont give in. please, or you will have a 3 year old running around a restaurant annoying everyone! be stern and be firm.

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