My sweet little baby boy is 10 days old and will not sleep at night unless one of us holds him. We have a cradle in our room and he hasn't slept in it yet. Any tips on getting an infant to sleep at night, in his bed, not in our arms. We are so very tired, have been splitting the night into shifts and sleeping on the loveseat, (we do not have a sofa). We tried one night to just put him in the cradle, hoping he would cry himself to sleep, but after 15 minutes his cry had gotten louder and more desperate sounding so my husband picked him up and went into the living room. Any advice would be appreciated.
Thank You.
Thank you all so much for the advice. After the one failed attempt at letting him cry and making me cry, we have not and will not try it again. We had been swaddling since the hospital, but the pediatrician said to lower the risk of sids, no swaddle, no bumpers, no blankets, nothing in his bed but him. We did have a couple more nights of split shift holding to get some sleep. But I said to my husband lets put warm jammies on him, take him in our room and feed him to sleep, then slip him into his cradle and see what happens. It was very hard for my husband to let go, but it actually worked. Baby Alex wakes when he is hungry then back to bed after eating and falling asleep (aprox every 2 hours). My husband is still having seperation anxiety and I will wake in the morning to find that he brought Alex to bed to snuggle with him, but at least he is in his cradle most of the night. Thanks again to all.
Put the baby in the in the cradle, move it out of the room, and let the baby cry it out. After 20 minutes go in and rub him on the belly until he falls asleep. Quietly move out of the room. Next night wait 25 minutes and so on.
But move the cradle out of the room so you don't hear him instantly. Walk slowly to the room. Get him to soothe him self. Rub his belly less and less. Don't talk to him.
TOTALLY NORMAL! It can take some infants 1-2 months to figure out days and nights..
Always make sure that it's completely dark all night long and really bright during the day. Light is what regulates melatonin and tells us to sleep at night. He'll get it soon.
Also, please, please, please DON'T allow your newborn infant to cry. He doesn't know that he's doing anything wrong. Infants need touch just as much as they need food and clean diapers. It's actually painful for an infant to be left alone to cry. It causes their stress hormones to go through the roof and may cause life-long brain damage.
Good luck!
Please do not let your newborn "cry himself to sleep". Even most advocates for CIO agree that this is not appropriate for a newborn.
Human babies are born incredibly immature and really the first three months should be considered the 4th trimester of your pregnancy. It is normal for them to crave physical contact and wake frequently at night for feedings, especially if you breastfeed.
You can try swaddling your newborn (wrap tightly in a blanket) if it is not too hot in your house right now. If you insist that he sleeps in his cradle, try softly placing your hand on him and rocking the cradle gently. Also try letting him sleep with a well worn shirt of yours or sleep with the sheet for the cradle pad for a few days so it has your scent.
It is normal that it takes a while for him to get used to it. Catch naps during the day with him as much as you can and let your husband and teenager take care of the household for a few weeks.
Good luck.
Make sure you have some background noise for him to sleep to at night. the reason he sleeps during the day is it is comforting with all the noise in the background like when in the womb. So make sure there is something for him to hear at night. along with the other things like being very dark, wrap him tight... hang in there he will be sleeping at night before you know it!
he needs you, he needs you, he needs you!!!!!! all day and all night! it is SO much simpler to just have him in bed with you, all you have to do is roll over and nurse him back to sleep. everyone will get more and happier sleep that way! (both of my children slept with me till they were about 4 - and now they both sleep with their children - all of them are amazingly wonderful, loving, happy human beings, from having their needs met as babies!)
Oh my goodness, I am so sad that people are actually suggesting you let a 10 day old baby cry himself to sleep. Imagine life from his perspective! He just barely came into this scary, confusing world which is SO different from the warm, safe womb. He depends on his warm, cozy mama for EVERYTHING, including helping him get to sleep peacefully. He needs to feel safe and secure, not be left by himself to cry and wonder where you are. To a baby, out of sight means definitely out of mind- he has no idea if anyone is ever coming to help him if you leave him to cry by himself.
I know how hard it is to be sleep deprived, believe me! But this is just something that you have to get through until he's older. It will get easier I promise. It looks like your older son is 15, so I imagine his first days are probably a blur in your memory, but just remember how quickly the hardest parts pass. Very soon I'm sure you baby's natural rhythm will ease into sleeping longer at night (though probably not as much as you wish for a while longer)
Congratulations on your baby! And good luck, enjoy each moment. As i look back on the early days with my 2 daughters, it seemed like it was easy to lose perspective when things were going rough. But things change so quickly at that age, so keep you head up!
Make sure you are giving your baby all the cues for sleep at night. One life-saver for us was the swaddle wraps. A lot of times babies can fall asleep just to wake themselves up by startling. Then their lack of motor control means that their arms are flailing, keeping them awake. It sounds like you might be keeping your baby's arms in check when you are sleeping in the bed with him. If that's the case, then the days and nights may not be mixed up that bad, newbornes sleep a lot- both day and night.
Two more suggestions: 1) all the steps recommended in Happiest Baby on the Block help with sleep as well as crying, so go get that book. 2) an automatic swing can help rock baby to sleep. When paired with the swaddle, we went from a couple hours of sleep at a time up to four then six hours at 10 weeks.
Good Luck!
I remember these days, it's really tough but hang in there. As all the Moms are noting this is very normal for baby to have days and night mixed up and also for baby to need you 24/7 (so no crying to sleep at this age). We used to try to be more active with baby during the day to help prolong sleep (which seemed nearly impossible :oP) and then used a swing at night and just a lot of round the clock care. It took our son 1 month to get the days and nights figured out (and even then he would wake up at nights for nursing). I had a friend go 6 month of day and night confusion...hopefully that doesn't happen to you. Congratulations, good luck, and hang in there :o)
I didn't check the replies, so apologies if you have gotten this already.
Crying it out doesn't work on babies that young, I think it is not recommended until 4 months old or so.
The Happiest Baby on the Block is a miracle book and/or DVD (in fact the DVD is better because you can see the techniques work!). Swaddling is one of the methods in there that I bet would work for you. My daughter was the same as your son, and it was like I had flipped a switch when done correctly. I am almost certain you saw the nurses at the hospital swaddle him...it is important to do it right though. There are other tips that will really really help, so get a copy ASAP!!!!
Good luck!
K.
oh please please please don't let your baby cry it out anymore. right now isn't the time to let him cry, right now is the time to make him understand that he can trust you, and you aren't going to do that if you let him cry for long periods of time without attempting to comfort him. he needs you to at least respond to his cries, even if you can't always "fix" them.
have you considered co sleeping? my oldest daughter would only sleep if she was being held, so i co slept with her until she was 2 since it was the only way i could get some sleep! if you aren't comfortable with co sleeping, try making his swaddling blanket smell like you by keeping it close to you for a day or so (even sleep with it!) and then wrap him up in it. newborns have highly developed senses of smell, and your smell is very comforting to him, so that might help.
mixing up days and nights is very, very common. you just gotta work through it and try and help your baby adjust to life outside the womb. keep the room dark and cool (well, as cool as you can in this ghastly heat) and don't stimulate him too much when you get up to feed him. try walking him with his head on the left side of your chest so he can hear your heartbeat, swaddle him tight and feed him on demand.
it's hard to remember what to do when it's been a while. my youngest is almost a month old and my oldest is almost 4 1/2, and even with that comparatively small age gap i feel like an all new mommy all over again! good luck!
So common, and here's why:
1. In the womb, babies frequently rest on their sides, but we're now instructed to have them sleep on their backs for safety;
2. In the womb, babies are "hugged," snugly and constantly;
3. In the womb, babies always hear a very loud whooshing sound;
4. In the womb, babies are rocked and jiggled constantly during the day while the mother is active.
According to Harvey Karp, M.D., who wrote The Happiest Baby on the Block, those four factors combine to create a "relaxation response" that helps the baby sleep (both before and after birth). That would explain why newborns are more used to sleeping during the day, since that's when they got all that jiggling and rocking.
You can help your little guy sleep by giving him as much of all four conditions as possible during these long nights. As he gets more sleep at night, he'll gradually need less during the day.
Dr. Karp recommends snug swaddling so the baby won't flail and wake himself, and defines his technique in his book. He shows how to hold the baby on his side, or even on his belly on your arm or thigh. He explains why constant, loud noise, from a hair dryer, vacuum cleaner, noise machine, or your voice, is comforting and won't hurt your baby's hearing. And he descrbes how to vigorously swing and jiggle your baby to distract him from his own new, disturbing sensations (as we all know, many infants have trouble accommodating the physical experience of digesting and eliminating; we call it colic).
The holding, jogging, and shooshing techiniques came to me as a result of trial and error. I can't swear to the swaddling, which I've never used, but I have yet to comfort a baby that didn't respond quickly to the other actions, especially holding the little body snug against my chest (side position) or on my shoulder (belly-down position) and jolting my heels on the floor. Instant magic, but it can get exhausting. So adding the swaddling and a source of noise would really help.
Hang in there. The switch will happen. But you can probably speed the process by soothing your son in ways similar to his time in the womb.
consider cosleeping.
if you rest your infant's head and neck on your arm, you get the bonus (bonus to the peacefully sleeping baby) that their eustacean(?sp) tubes (the ear-nose connections) are elevated and angled so milk doesn't drain toward the ears and your chances of ear infections are lower (the sugar from milk that improperly drained into the ear while a baby is lying down is a cause of ear infections)
my sibs and I all had ear infections as kids; my kids have had zero, and I totally attribute that to the raised-head position I maintained in the crook of my arm while cosleeping them (you of course have to switch regularly left and right). You can also sleep, flat in your bed, while nursing, which as far as I am concerned is the only way to get any sleep, especially after the first kid!! (I had mine closer together than you ;). )
In any case, I hope you feel better soon. No matter HOW hard these first days are, remember remember remember that the younger the baby the sooner the phase is over; probably with the next growth spurt all the 'habits' will change anyhow!!
This is pretty normal. I remember my daughter being up until 2am and then back up at 5am for another feeding. UGH. It is so hard. While in the womb they slept most of the day because of the movement and were awake mostly at night due to lack of movement. It takes awhile to reset this clock, which is very stressful when you are a tired and new mom. Eventually it will start to switch but it takes a good month or two.
Best advice I can give you is just try and sleep during the day when your baby does and if possible try and keep them awake more and more during the day. But at this early age, your baby needs you almost every 2 to 3 hours. That is why I say sleep when you can. If you are able to take turns with your spouse, then have him do one night and you do the next so at least someone is getting sleep.
He is too young for crying himself to sleep - that is more of a 6 month old type thing.
A.,
I didn't read all your responses so I hope I am not repeating someone. I have a one year old that has just finally started sleeping through the night.
One thing that I found helped my baby sleep better was to fold comfy blanket, put it in the car seat, and let her sleep in the car seat, it would make her think she was bieng held and I was able to get some rest. Unfortanatly, you will have to break your baby of sleeping in the car seat if you go this route, but for me it was worth it.Hope this helps! Hope you are able to get some more sleep!
N.
Make sure the room is dark & cool. Have the white noise machine on continuously to drown out the background noise. Also swaddle him so he doesn't wake himself up when his hands hit his face. Assuming he is not hungry, give him a pacifier. However, if you are breastfeeding it is best not to give pacifiers until breastfeeding is well established (a few weeks). Also, this is so normal. If nothing else works you may just need to give it more time. I had my 2nd baby in May & she was up every 1-2 hours for the first 1.5 months. She is 2.5 months old now & just started to sleep in 3.5-4-hour stretches. Just try to get through these rough first few weeks, it WILL get better!
Congrats on you new baby! July 15 is a good day (its my daughters birthday along with my brotherinlaw).
Have you tried swaddling? I had to swaddle and hold mine till she fell asleep then put her in her crib, with another blanket. And if that didnt work then she would sleep with us in our bed. Your baby needs comfort and love so dont feel bad giving it.
I just wanted to comment that I think that it so wonderful that your husband is so nurturing to your baby:) You are lucky to have such a good partner:)
Dear A.,
Hello, I'm a mother of 1 year old twin girls. For my girls they were the same way too. I read a book called, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby." It was my saving grace when it came to having my babies sleep through the night. The first 3 months, it's totally normal for your son to wake up as frequently at night as he does. Just feed him and change him. Then when he seems content, just put him in his crib. Let him cry a little bit like you did before. If you keep repeating this your baby will eventually get the idea because you've built a system for him to recognize. I hope this helps.
We had the same issue (our guy is now 2 1/2) and has slept alone in a crib (now a bed) once he could roll over. Before that, we had him sleep in his car seat(either in our room or his crib)! It was cleared with our pediatrician and we tried everything else. Worked for us. I think some babies just can't sleep on their backs.
Good luck!
