Here's the background: My son is almost 11 months old and still wakes up four times a night. When I would have started to sleep train him, we were moving into temporary housing and he started to started to share a room with us. This lasted for about 4 1/2 months. We have just moved into our new house and he is now in his own room, but has still continued to wake at his usual times. He wakes for the day anywhere between 6:30 and 7 am. He'll take his first nap around 9/9:30 and sleep for 1 -2 hours. He'll take his second nap around 2:00 and sleep about 2 hours. At around 5:30, he is soooo tired and cranky, but I don't put him down until around 6:45-7 with a routine of bath, book, and then a couple lullabies. He'll fall asleep on his own (same with naps) and sleep until around 10:30 when he cries out for a minute then falls back to sleep. His next waking is between midnight and 1, then around 3-4 and then 5. When we shared a room, I usually ended up nursing him because it was hard to let him CIO when we were in the same room. Now, I try to let him CIO, but it just escalates and he'll fall asleep for 10 min and then start crying again, so I end up going in and nursing him because I am so tired I just want him to sleep. I know that I haven't given it much time because we've only been in the house a L. over a week, but I just know that the CIO is not going to work with him. I did it with my daughter and she was sleeping through the night in 3 days, but I just don't know what to do with him to help him to sleep. I know he can soothe himself because he puts himself to sleep for naps and when I first put him down at night. Sorry this is so lengthy!! Can anyone give advice? Thanks!
Hi, J.:
I would suggest to get the book, To Listen to a Child by T. Berry Brazelton, M.D. He talks about the sleep cylce through the different stages.
Good luck. D.
My youngest just turned 11 months. He's been sleeping thru the night since about 3 months or so.
His schedule/routine looks something like this:
6-7 wakes and gets bottle
9 cereal
11-12 part of a bottle then nap
he sleeps at least 2 hours
then I feed him his lunch
then part of a bottle 1 1/2 hours later
dinner is anywhere from 5-6, he eats with us but we also give him some baby food.
he takes his last full bottle between 7-7:30
He sometimes falls asleep while drinking his bottle, if not we put him in his crib awake, same for naps and he falls asleep on his own.
He cries very L.. He's by far the easiest baby out of my 4. LOL
Now that my 4 year old started preschool on Mon, Wed and Fri I'm TRYING to get him in to a new routine because he's asleep when she needs picked up from school. I haven't been very successful at that yet!
He does some times wake in the middle of the night. I'll hear him in the monitor talking and giggling. I do not go in to him when he wakes up UNLESS he's crying and only if he's been crying longer than 5-10 minutes. When he's crying, since it's not his "normal" I know he needs something...like his leg is stuck in the crib. :-)
The only thing I can think of is try feeding him more during the day and try to rearrange his nap schedule. I don't know if that will help or not.
Good luck.
Hi, J., I sooooo feel your pain!!! Just went through this with my 7 month old. It is maddening, depressing, exhausting, maddening... :-) You are not alone. So many parents go through this.
I think consistency has been your biggest challenge, what with the move, room sharing, nursing during the night, etc. I continued nursing mine during the night until recently (though I kept it to one time only) and continued to have wakings for as long as I broke down and did that nursing.
I ultimately did good old fashioned Ferber. I didn't do this with my first, tried all the no-cry sleep solutions with her before finally breaking down and just letting her cry it out, but with my second, I couldn't go down that road again. I needed results NOW.
I got the Ferber book from the library and used his timetable with progressively longer wait times and check-ins. I had one pretty bad night, like the one you described: crying, sleeping for ten minutes, waking, crying, and on and on... but night two was a L. better. Night three was awesome, night four was a L. tougher again. Now it's been a week and a half and he sleeps from between 6 and 7pm to between 5 and 6am. Occasionally he still wakes and cries - if it escalates for ten or fifteen minutes, I go, check in (don't pick him up, but soothe him briefly with my voice, put my hand on him, give him his bink back), then say "I love you very much. It is time to sleep," and leave. The crying escalates for a couple minutes, then he gives up and goes back to sleep.
It takes time, and if he is hungry (mine definitely was too), it takes a L. longer for his body to recalibrate and start getting more calories during the day. But without consistency, you will never solve it. Consistency is key. Plus he is older now - that will probably add time as well.
But one of the greatest gifts you can give your child (not to mention YOURSELF) is the ability to get a full restful night of sleep. Remind yourself of this when it gets hard and you're worrying about being a bad mom. A well rested child is a happy child. My son is happy, well-adjusted, clearly hasn't been harmed by the Ferber process, and is now catching up on much needed sleep.
Hang in there! You are not alone!
All my best, and good luck,
H. S.
PS - If you are interested in hearing more about the Ferber process, feel free to send me a message and I would be happy to give you more details re: how I did it.
I think I'd try to shorten his naps to 1 hour each and then try to squeeze in another short one around 4ish. So a nap at 9, up at 10/10:30. Nap at 1, up at 2. Nap at 4, up by 5 at the latest. And then put him down a L. later if necessary. Something like that. ?? Every kid is different, you just have to figure out what works for the one you have. Trial & error. No fun for mommy though. Good luck!
I would try to put him down at 5 for another L. nap. I would move the afternoon nap to 1 so you can get that third nap in. I would also suggest the book happy babies, healthy sleep habits. It talks about the kind of sleep kids need and gives suggestions for different scenarios if your child doesn't sleep.
i do know a lot of people say kids at that age should get three naps a day. My daughter never did since her afternoon nap would go and still does from 1 till anywhere from 4 to 5. So she took a long nap then that she could stay up until 8.
When kids wake up during the night, it's just a matter of changing their schedule a bit and it works out. My stepson would always get up in the middle of the night. We put him to bed at 9. After I read the book, I changed his bedtime to 8 and he never gets up in the night anymore.
Hi,
I can kind of relate with the sleep-training... My son just turned 1 and we started putting him in the crib last week! EEK! We use the swing for naps and we were using it at his bedtime (around 9pm). Then- when my husband and I went to bed we transferred him to a pack and play in our room. And- I do put my son to bed with a bottle... (I know that's a no no)
I will say that things IMMEDIATELY changed when he went into his own room. He cried it out one night.... His Daddy tucks him in the crib (sleep sack, sooth and glow sea horse, and a sound machine that makes a wave/rain sound for about 20 minutes)..........We hear him stir a few times.... (L. whines or peeps........I think he does it automatically in his sleep..) Sometimes he wakes up early in the morning because he's hungry. Usually his Dad (not me..........then he'll want Mom) can pop a bottle in his mouth and he sometimes goes back to sleep...
You may want to try getting him on some formula for night feedings. It may keep him fuller longer..... And- then some items to help him 'self soothe' (The Fisher Price Sooth and Glow sea horse is only about 10 bucks... that really helps my son!) Sleep sacks, so the blanket doesn't fall off... maybe a pacifier? (My son ditched his automatically a few months ago... that used to be my life saver) And- our wave machine (Homedics sound spa.... they even started selling them at Toys R Us! is a life saver....) Now I need it to sleep! Ha ha! (They have timed settings and constant settings... it can plug into the wall or run on batteries) Less than 20 bucks...
Good luck! If worse comes to worse, you may want to try the swing.. I kept cutting the buckle off and sewing it higher so my son could still fit in it...
My cousins had good luck with Baby Boot Camp, getting your kids to sleep 12 hours... (or something like that)
Good luck!
Food for thought...
Could it be that he is hungry? My daughter got up every two hours to nurse until she was 14 months old. reason... I wasn't producing a lot of milk. Through the day she got other foods, (and tried to nurse) but night time seemed to be her best time for milk. She doesn't tolerate cow milk, or formula. Once we started giving her goat milk, she started doing much better. (she started sleeping through the night almost immediately when she got a nice full belly before bed!) She only woke when wet after that.
If he is putting himself to sleep on his own for naps, I don't think the problem is separation anxiety. Does he have any sort of night light? My daughter has a fish tank in her room (a L. light, and a L. white noise - what a wonderful thing!)
He's hungry. I guarantee you if you drastically increase his food intake during the day all day long, not just before bed, after a few days (when it registers with his system-you won't see it very first night), he'll sleep much longer (should have no trouble sleeping through the night) My step aunt got all 12 of hers to sleep thru by 3 months with that trick, and it has worked with mine. Stuff him stuff him stuff him. Add at least a couple of meals and snacks during the day. You'll be surprised, he CAN eat more. Don't worry about over feeding-if he's truly not hungry, he'll refuse the food. You won't even need sleep training, because he won't wake up anymore.
He may be ready to ditch the morning nap soon too, my 1 year old has been on one nap only for a few months now.
But increased food intake is the most important thing!
