Our son was born 10 weeks premature and sleep has always been an issue. He will be 1 in a few weeks and is still not sleeping throuhg the night. I wouldn't even mind if he woke up once for a bottle, but he is waking up sometimes 2 or 3 times and then sometimes won't even drink a bottle. He cries when he goes down for naps and bed time but usually will fall asleep after a few minutes. He eats 3 meals and 3 snacks along with juice and about 16oz of formula a day so I don't think he is hungry. We are willing to try anything to get him to sleep through the night or atleast cutting down on the amount of times he is waking up.
ok, so last night he went to bed at 8pm, his usual bedtime without drinking his bottle. He woke up and hour later, I think the phone woke him up so we took him out and fed him the rest of his bottle. We put him back to bed and he slept til 3am, he only whined for a few seconds and then fell back asleep until 6am. We took him out of bed and fed him a bottle and he went back to sleep until 8am. This was a good night but the night before was a completely different story. He has good nights and bad nights and that is why it is so hard to figure out what to do. I worry when he has a bad night that there is something wrong like an upset stomach or his teeth are bothering him. We have tried letting him cry it out but he is so stubborn and will cry for over an hour and by then he is so worked up, I'm just confused on what to do!!
Hi mom you have to remember babies do not have sense of time you my have to sleep when the child do, if not just be patience this will end.
Every one of us wakes at times during the night. About every 3 hours, your REM sleep goes to light sleep/waking. It is what we do with that state that matters. your little one has not yet learnt to just go back to sleep. The best way to deal with this is to let him cry. He doesn't need a bottle in the middle of the night and his need for you is learned. It usually takes about 3 or 4 days. yes it is hard but it is the only effective way to help him sleep through the night. You will be doing him a long term favor as he needs more sleep and you likely need more sleep too. At one, I imagine he still takes two naps at least during the day. The more daytime sleep he gets the better he will sleep at night. the book "healthy sleep habits, happy baby" by dr. mark weisblut is fabulous.
Good luck.
Hi D.. :)
Our son was 5 wks premature and was doing the same thing, which I think is common regardless of preterm. :) I think by our son being premature, we were always worried about his size and made me want to continue to nurse him to get him bigger. At our 12mo visit with our doctor (who is very laid back) looked at me like I was nuts when I said he woke 1-2 times a night. He suggested that when my son woke up that my husband (not me) would go in, leave him in his crib and gently talk to him, telling him to go back to sleep. He had to do this a couple of times at night initially and then after 3 nights or so, our son slept through the night and still is. He was waking for the nursing snuggles. :)
Good luck! :)
K.
Hi D.,
One thing is for sure, when you've been through this one, you don't easily forget it and you want a solution now! We read the book suggested by Dr Weissbluth. It was helpful and is still a handy reference, but I was annoyed trying to read it and just wanted to get to the solution! So the short answer is that we too let our sons cry it out. It was VERY hard and neither one of our kids was the miracle case study of 30 minutes the first night and 15 the next and sleeping through by the end of the week! It took weeks and finally they learned. My older son is a great sleeper now. Actually we are having to re-train our almost 2-year old right now but once they are trained, it is easier to re-train (like after a vacation or illness, etc). It's a controversial approach but if you're up for it, it is worth a try. Just put him down, tell him you will see him in the morning and then do not go back in until the morning! He may wake up and cry for over an hour but he will eventually fall back asleep. As for naps, I think you can let him cry for up to an hour (we only did 30 - 45 minutes for this though). If it doesn't work then get him up and he'll need to go to bed earlier that night.
If you don't feel comfortable trying this approach, then follow your heart. There are softer approaches (like checking in every few minutes). That only made my kids scream harder but every kid is different. Just remember that whatever approach you try, stick with it (at least for a few weeks! If you "rescue" him because you can't take the crying, then that will teach him that if he cries long/hard enough,then you will come.
Hang in there. LOTS OF LUCK!
Denise
They say at 9 months a baby doesn't need to get up in the middle of the night for a feeding. You should be able to let him cry it out. I waited until my full term twins were 13 months and wish I did it sooner:) They cried for 12 minutes the first time then an hour later for 11 minutes. It was way easier than I thought :)Since your son was premature you should go by his full term date in regards to age for milestones etc. If you aren't ready then wait a month or two. But when you do stick to it and it will be over in a few days. Good luck :)
my non premature 18 month old still doesnt sleep through the night. from what i am told it just doesnt happen until around 2-3...unless you want to do CIO which i wont do.
It's really tough when you are so sleep deprived! At your child's age, he doesn't need a bottle at night, even for being premature. So stop that. =) My son had sleep issues all the way up to age 2 before he finally slept through the night. He needed to be swaddled up until he turned 1. And if we let him cry it out, he would literally cry for hours. Turns out he has some sensory issues, and needed that extra cuddling, snuggling. Even now, he needs to be tucked in extra tight at night. Even if this isn't your kid, just know that it can't last forever. Just hang in there.
You may have found a solution by now, but in case you might be interested in more info, here is a resource that I hope might be helpful for you...
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp
Best wishes,
J.
D.,
There are tons of books out there because I'd guess at some point many of us parents have struggled with "sleep issues" due to our children either waking or having trouble going down. Many times it's us parents and our behaviors that have created the beast - albeit out of love. Check out the local library or book store - there's Healthy Habits, Happy Child, Dr Weisbleuth also has a book (I think that's the spelling). Even if you search on this site, you'll see the same question, and answers, time and time again.
If you think it may have something to do with his prematurity, talk with your dr. We have a friend who's daughter ended up going to a sleep specialist because they determined there was some neurological reason she isn't sleeping through the night, in addition to behavior issues.
I don't know if you have a sound machine for him, but my kids really love theirs. Whenever we get off-schedule and have sleeping problems we go back to our "routine" of bath, book, bed. The sound machine comes on and it's good night. Period. Our ped long ago said no child has ever cried themselves to death - so out of pure desperation we stuck to our guns. For (naps and) bed we say, Good night, I love you, see you in the morning. And if they fuss or fight, we remind them, it's bedtime, goodnight. If it happens again we either ignore it or march them back to their rooms without a word, drink, or kiss. So that'd be my recommnedation for you. If he doesn't NEED YOU, then don't go in. He'll figure out no one is coming and that it's not worth the effort of fussing or calling out. Easier said than done if he's less than one tho...it's torturous listening to it. So agree with your husband on SOME plan, and stick to it.
Good luck.
Hi D.. I have three kids and thank God they are all past that stage. My first two children were like your baby.They would fall asleep around 8pm and then wake up around 1:30 - 2am every night sometimes 2x a night.They would cry even after taking a bottle :-( What helped me was I got the Johnson's lotion,the one with I think lavender/chamomile scent in it..it's in a light purple tube/bottle. I rub that on them after giving them a bath (also,get the same scent for your soap)at night. I religiously gave them a massage every night and it worked wonders!!!After how many sleepless weeks, I was able to have some zzzzz. If you can, get a nature sound cd or player,even an alarm clock that has it. I think it helped them calm down at night. I used to play a heartbeat cd all night in their room :-) I hope this help you. Goodluck!
Yep - you really do need to read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. He doesn't 'need' you in the middle of the night; he 'wants' you and he has learned that if he cries, you will come. You've not done anything wrong BUT it is absolutely a reasonable expectation for him to be able to sleep through the night and self-soothe if he wakes back up. If you truly are desperate and willing to try anything, then you may want to do a little helpful behavior modification when he wakes in the night. Do not go to him and let him cry - he isn't crying because he has a 'need'; he 'wants' his mom or dad. Our son has slept through the night since about 3-4 months and now at 2 1/2 is a happy, healthy, well-adjusted child. In other words, he clearly hasn't been ruined or neglected because we taught him skills to sleep!
Ditto to what MR wrote!!!!
Tired mama,
We've all been there! Have you tried having him sleep with you? He may just need some reassurance in the middle of the night. It's worked for me.
It's habit now. Pray and see if he wants a bottle at bed time that will keep him sleeping longer. When he does wake up, comfort him in the crib, but tell him to go back to sleep. Sometimes you have to let them cry it out for a little bit, but I would say not more than 20-30 minutes straight. You might struggle for a little bit, but in the long run it will pay off.
Have you tried just letting him cry. Babies are smart. He wakes up and you are not there. He know that if he cries you will come. You could try just letting him cry a little and he may go back to sleep. the other thing you can try is not giving him more than one nap per day. Some children just do not need as much sleep as others. My son never took more than one nap after he was about 6 months old. And was done taking naps by the time he was a year old. But he slept through the night at a very early age and I was thankful.
One other thing you might want to look at is what time of the day you give him juice and how much sugar is in the juice you give him. Most infant juices are sugar free but if you are buying other than infant juice it may have to much sugar in it.
Juice can also cause stomach upset if you give it to close to his bottle or to bed time. You can try watering down his juice. Or use pear juice instead of apple,less acidity.
Just a Couple thoughts.
S.
