1-2-3 Magic Parenting Solution

Hmm, haven't used that method, as I never needed help with disciplining my kid.

Have you tried making them do jumping jacks, or running a lap, as punishment? Even if it doesn't work, at least they'll be "hot". Because when you're hot, you don't need to have manners or know how to act, apparently.

it has real advantages. it takes away the screaming and pleading and negotiating that sabotage so many young parents.
but it needs to be used appropriately. it's sort of like the ferber method, which too many people don't really understand and boil down to CIO.
there have been many times i've been out and about and seen young parents *sort of* using 1-2-3. 'poindexter! stop biting the puppy's tail! 1........2........i mean it! 1...................2................................... did you hear me counting? oh no! the puppy bit you! bad puppy!'
kids are not stupid. the count can give them a second or two to process and comply, or it can spin the opportunities for disobedience into infinity.
how well will your children train you?
khairete
S.

Why not try the same kind of discipline with them that you impose on yourself in regards to how much time you spend in the gym? You expect it of yourself, so why not expect it of them?

Ah yes - they don't respond to the same kind of self-discipline you do? That's right. Neither do many of the rest of us, actually - not everyone wants to be a hot mama just like not every child will respond to the same form of discipline.

What you do is to take yourself out of the equation and learn that what you want doesn't necessarily translate to others, and be accepting of it. You work with your kids in a way that helps them understand your expectations, you give them consequences that apply to the situation, and then you help them see that THEY are in control of themselves. The 9 year old leaves her clothes all over the floor? Pick them up and put them away until she doesn't have enough clothes to wear. She complains? You tell her that she didn't put them in the hamper like she was told to do, so she doesn't get them back. It is REALLY simple and SHE is in control.

The 6 year old hits the 4 year old? Send her to her room. No computers, no game boys, no XBox, no electronic games of any kind in the bedroom. If the kids fight, they are all separated to their rooms without you deciding WHO started it. They will get sick and tired of being sent to their rooms and will eventually get along better, IF you are 100% consistent. IN fact, they will police each other so that they don't ruin it for the rest of them (like the Army...)

Part of being a good mother is to handle your children with more conviction than the time you spend on yourself. If you do a good job with them, you'll have more time to spend on yourself in the long run. And you'll have better behaved kids.

Dawn

It does work for me, but when I started it I really had to follow the consequences even if that ment getting out of a party when we have just arrived or leave my friends in the middle of a play date. It was uncomfortable but well worth it.

You have to mean it,,really mean it.

It's worked pretty well for our daughter, who is almost 5. I like that it does give them a chance to "pull it together" and it's rare that we actually get to 3. There's no arguing, lecturing, blah, blah, blah. As for the consequence that happens when you get to 3, it needs to be whatever works best for your kid. Our daughter doesn't do well with time-outs in a corner or a "naughty spot" because she continues to scream and yell from where she is and is still trying to get our attention and get us to give in. Instead I will send her to her room and have the door shut, because even though she might go haywire, she can't make eye contact or get in my face while she's carrying on. But you do have to be consistent about it, and follow through...no "2 and 1/2...I really mean it! I am about to get to 3!" etc. There are sometimes I just need her to listen to me right away though, and now that she's getting a little bit older, I am less apt to count...it's turned more into "Do what I said right now or we are leaving!" because I get tired of her thinking she is always going to get second chances. I would read the book (it's by Thomas Phelan) all the way through, including where he discusses some the pitfalls and ways you can modify the methods, and see if it's something you think will be worth trying.

Yes. It works beautifully, as long as YOU follow the rules, lol. Easier said than done sometimes, and easy to fall back into without realizing.
The book does a good job of explaining what that means, but just to reiterate (don't run on at the mouth to your kids, give them the information they need to do what you want, i.e. "stop bouncing that in the house", and then count them if they don't comply---no lectures, no apologies when they end up in their room or whatever).
Enjoy it. Made my life a lot easier during a rough patch when my kids were at those same ages (9 and 6).

YUP! LOVE IT... we started at 2 or 3. It works really well... but as with anything you have to be consistent with it.

SUPER easy to learn and implement. You don't say if your 4YO is w/ you all day or out of the house.. if s/he is out of the house you'll want to have your child care provider know what you're doing and try and do it w/ them as well.

It isn't foolproof, but it is useful. I think it's good to have a variety of discipline styles to fall back on because kids do a variety of naughty things. :) I like counting to 3 because it gives my kids time to consider the consequences. But I don't count for everything. For example, if my 8 yr old calls me stupid or screams at me, I tell him immediately to go to his room. If he refuses, I tell him to be there by the count of 3 or his punishment will be _______ (something more miserable than being in his room). Since the kids are so used to me counting to 3 for things, many times I only have to start counting and they will obey because they already know what they are supposed to be doing (or not doing). So I am glad that I have implemented this system. But it isn't everything.

I love it because it helps us not yell, which kids just tune out. For instance if he hits you do not need to go into a long talk about why we do not hit, You've already told him we do not hit, you just send to his room or take away tv or whatever without talking about it. If it is a minor infraction (talking back, refusing to take his dirty plate,put away toys, whatever) you can give 2 warnings, saying only "one" "two" Only when it is a New rule do we need to explain the rule. It worked great with my oldest, not with my daughter (the meltdown queen) My youngest was very cooperative with the "choices method" Do you want to take all the dishes off the table or just yours? Do you want to brush your teeth upstairs or downstairs?

It worked pretty well for my older daughter, but was a total fail on my younger daughter. Hearing "that's one" did NOT cause her to pull it together, it only made her angrier, and angrier.