1-2-3 Magic

Hi L.,

I did read 1-2-3 Magic and found it useful. Follow the principles as laid out in the book and it should work for you too. Now when I start counting my kids (age 3 and 5) know I am serious. Many times I don't even get to 3 because they know a consequence will follow. Try it and let us know how it works for you!

M.

My girlfriend uses this method, she says the only modification she has made is to count backwards not forwards. She sayd then you have no where to go. 3 2 1 and that is it. When counting forward you could keep going.

Good luck

Just a word of caution about "1-2-3" training.

At this stage, it is all about teaching them to obey. Obedience is comprised of 4 things:

Obedience is immediate (no "just a minute")
Obedience is complete (no "half" job)
Obedience is without question (Mom and Dad know best, that's why they are Mom and Dad!)
Obedience is without complaint (otherwise they will grow up to be whiners and complainers)

"1-2-3" obedience has a fault. If we give the child to "3" to obey, we are teaching them that it's okay to wait to obey. Imagine your child is running toward the street. If you've trained them to obey on "3", they're dead. I know that is harsh, but it is true.

Hi L.,
I was a single mother for many years as well and with a special needs daugther..I have to say that 1-2-3 was amazing and extremely helpful. I still use it today with my eight year old daughter and it has helped me keep my cool while giving her the chance to modify her behavior. She feels in control and so do I. She also knows what to expect if I get to three so there is no confusion. Usually you can rent the video or the book at the local library. I am also a school social worker, and my bachelors is in Child Development. It is one of the best parenting techniques I have used.:) However, you must be consistent with it as with any parenting technique, that is key:) Good luck:)

i just borrowed the book from the library. I have not finished it yet however it was recommended by a child social worker. i have heard good things. Good luck :)

As a therapist who works with kids and parents. I use this book constantly. If used correctly and consistently it is excellent. Any questions feel free to ask. C.

A little off from your question but I feel the need to tell Laura that not all parents want their children to mindlessly obey as if they are in the military. I want my children to understand what they are being asked to do or not do and I want them to be able to think and question as they get older. The root of the word discipline means "instruction". Of course, when they are little they will not always understand everything, but children know that their bond to you is invaluable to their survival, both physically and emotionally. Your bond is the greatest tool to instruct your children on how to behave.

I have been using 1-2-3 Magic since my daughter was about 1 year old. She is now almost 7. It works great! You have to be consistant. I have given her a time out in the middle of Walmart one time. She quickly learned that I mean what I say. She is at the age now where she will get embarrassed in front of her friends if I start to count.

I would recommend watching the video 1-2-3 Magic. It gives you actual examples of how you can put the 1-2-3 Magic to use. You should be able to get the video at you local library. If they do not have it, they can get it from another local library for you.

Good luck, be persistant. M.

Do you think that book could help with a 13 yr old and a 7yr old?
T.

Hi L.,

I've never read the book but by the suggestion of an older sister I implemented it with my kids and it is magic.

I started time out with both kids at 18 mths (for 1 min) but after some time-time outs didn't seem too effective. So now as a warning I will use the 1 2 3 and it works like a charm. They know when I say 3 there will be a consequence.

Best of luck,
F.

We used 1-2-3 magic in our house because it was recommended through the school. This program definetely helped us and the school enforced it as well. I would recommend trying it. My son especially needs structure and this worked wonders. Most of the time I only got to 1. The key is follow-through. It is hard but it will pay off. Good Luck!

Yes - and it is great. I hav e 3 boys 7,5, and 3 and it was my savior 3 years ago. If you do it and do it consistently it will work and will change your life. Stop arguing with your kids - you make the rules.... For sure get it!

L.,
Yes! Yes! Yes! I only learned about this about 6 or 7 months ago and was looking for help with my 3 year old. He's now almost 4 and I have a 10 month old too.

I think that this is a great parenting technique. It saved my son's life ! :-) (joking of course, but it was getting bad there for a while).

You have to be consistant with it and if you have a partner, it helps to have them on board too. At first my husband wasn't a "believer" and that was hard, because I saw results with it as he was still losing his cool. Eventually he came around and we have our little angel back!

Best of Luck!
B.

Hi L., I see there are many who have used this method and it seems to work for them. I have read the book, however, I have never been a fan of couting it out because children know that they can act out up to the point of you saying the last number. If it works for you and your family I would say go for it!

Good Luck :)

P.
child care provider since 1996

YES!! This works! Our doctor told us about this. We started using "1,2,3 Magic" on our daughter when she was about 20 months old. Our library had the DVD and the book. The DVD was a little dated but I really thought it painted a better picture as to how to use the method.
.

L.,
Yes it works if you are consistant. I read the book and then my husband and I watched the DVD together. It was enough for us to have a discussion about it without him reading the book too. We have been using it since my daugther was 2. She is now 3 1/2. It is a very good system that you can adapt to your house and your family. I do recommend reading the book rather than just watching the DVD. There is more detail and explaination in the book. Most of the families in our playgroup use this method as well. If the parents use it correctly, it really does work. Good Luck!

M. W.