When Is to Old?

Personally I don't think that you ever need to have the conversation.

My parents never had the conversation with me or any of my siblings. Actually the rule in our house was when you quit believing then we quit celebrating.

I personally understand that at some point my daughter, she is 7, will realize that it is mom and dad that do her easter basket and put Christmas presents under the tree and take her teeth when she looses them. However, I just truly feel that by actually having the "conversation" it just takes the "magic" away from those holidays. I do not plan on ever telling my daughter that there is no such thing.

Just my opinion.

I found with my oldest (he's 11) and even with my middle son, that when they brought the topic up, to just ask simple questions "What do you believe?" etc. And be honest. I did not lie to my kids but didn't necessarily spill the beans either. Early on I told them things like "Santa has a lot of helpers" to explain why the mall Santas and the Santas at parties all look different from one another. Be creative and share as much as you want to share without flat out lying to her. If your ready to tell her, then tell her. There is no magic age.

In the end, the conversation I had with my oldest son a couple of years ago was "So you see, Santa is real, it's just not who you thought it was and someday you will get to play Santa to your little ones." He now has fun helping me and my husband be Santa with the gifts for the younger ones.

I'm definitely not at that stage yet with my son, and I'm not sure exactly what we'll do, but this is my thought - You never really have to tell her if you don't want. Let her believe until she is ready to let go of the fantasy. Its such a short time in our life that we can have that make-believe world. My parents never told us, we just figured it out one day. But, if your daughter is getting teased and you think it will be better for her as far as her friendships are concerned, then tell her. Or also, if she straight out asks you, then maybe just tell her the truth.

I totally believe in letting them hold onto it for as long as possible. Heck, I still believe! That is the spirit that makes the holidays special.

Hi M.,
I don't think you need to tell her. She probably doesn't believe anyway but wants you to think she does. I stopped believing in Santa at 9 but didn't tell my parents because I thought I would stop receiving presents. My feeling are there is so much reality we have to face. This is an innocent time so let them enjoy it. Don't take it away.

I am 65, have 6 grown children and 11 grandchildren, and I have NEVER told them that there is NO SC or EB!
Because, in our family we believe in the spirit of SC and the EB.
And they are associated for us with our celebrations of important religious holidays and that makes them special to us.
I think it is important to have some things in life to imagine and dream about, and what could be more important than the spirit of giving.
Whatever the mechanics of SC and the EB may be, isn't it fun and special to hold on to them a couple of times a year!

I've heard to tell them that if they don't believe there won't be anymore presents! (And that telling him that stops any more questions about it, LOL!)
I've also heard, especially if there are younger siblings, to tell them how Santa was real a long time ago and that we just continue in spirit and enlist their help in keeping it going for the younger siblings.
This is tough - hope I get to wait a little longer!
Good Luck!

Hi, I have 3 sons 12,10,and 5. They all beleive in the magic of the holidays!! My 12 year old has had questions in the past and I have just told him to beleive in the magic of the holidays!! My 10 year old hasn't questioned anything yet. In todays world kids have to grow up so fast anyways, I don't tell them to beleive in a person or a animal, I tell them that holidays are magical. I have always told my 12 year old that he can beleive any way he wants to he just has to let his brothers and those around him beleive the way they want to.

I think you should be honest with your child. Some kids get angry when they find out their parent weren't honest with them over this. What you can do is talk about why the easter bunny and santa claus characters exist and where they originated from and why these type of characters give us hope. I have never done the easter bunny thing but I do talk about where santa claus originated from. But please try not to forget the true reason for celebrating Easter and Christmas. This story is being lost and it is so sad when you look at the downward trend of this country and the attitude of not caring for our neighbors more than ourselves.

When I was about the same age as your child. I figured out that there was no Santa & Easter Bunny, but my older brother and sister told that if Mom & dad knew that I knew there was no Santa or Easter Bunny we won't get any gifts or candy anymore. What my mom did was she "accidentally" left out gifts from Santa where I could find them. So I could figure it out on my own.
Now When my daughter was going thought this, she was asking grandma, grandpa and her aunts and uncles if Santa was a REAL LIVE PERSON. She was afraid to ask me. Then my brother got her to admit that she knew Santa wasn't alive. From there I talked to her about how Santa was a real person a long time ago named St. Nicholas and all the good things he did. And that moms & dads around the world carry on this tradition for there kids and give to "Toys For Totes" so other kids can believe too. Then I had her go with me to pick out a toy to donate to the charity. We still go together every year pick something out to give to a charity. It has become our new tradition. She says it like she gets to be Santa now. And I feel that I'm teaching her the true meaning of Christmas (that it's better to give than get.)
I hope what I went through as a kid and as a mom helps you.

I am going through the same thing with my daughter who is 9. She asked me if Santa was real this past christmas and said her friends are telling her its just me putting the presents under the tree, I didnt actually tell the truth or lie I said if Santa isnt real then how do you think you get all these presents? I dont have the money for all of them. She acted like she believed me, I dont know if she really did, but Im not going to tell her either.

I don't really think you should tell her anything. My parents never told me, and I'm not trying to say that that means nobody should ever tell their kids.

It's really hard to explain - can you see air? How do you know it's there? You don't. You "just know." I "just know" that Santa Claus lives. He lives in the minds and hearts of others who "just know." Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, et.al. fit into that category for me.

The Easter Bunny gave our kids toys (sidewalk chalk and bubble making toys, etc.) and hardly any candy because they don't eat candy (when we went trick-or-treating, they maybe had 3 pieces of candy, and played with the rest putting them into one pumpkin, then pouring them into another pumpkin, and then back into the first).

One year, we saw a toy in Radio Shack that looked like a computer. We thought it'd be a great gift for my nephew (at the time we had only 2 nephews, so we could afford a little more than we might normally spend). When they opened their presents, he about PASSED OUT and kept saying, "MOM.....MOM.....LOOOK!!!!!" We didn't know this, but he had specifically asked Santa for a computer, and my sister/BIL told him they didn't think Santa would be able to bring him one (I feel like Christopher Lloyd in "back to the future" - "they weren't thinking 4th dimensionally!") and lo-and-behold, he got his computer. Call me hokey, but you'll never convince me that Somebody didn't mysteriously plan that!! My nephew carried that around and played with it for at least a year or two, and even took it to "show and tell" in kindergarten several times.

For what it's worth....

I say let them believe as long as they want to believe. My oldest is 10 and he is still hanging on to Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. I think he is starting to question, and as he does I will let him form his own opinion and ask him what he thinks. Kids grow up so fast these days, and there's nothing wrong with believing in Santa!

If we told my parents we didn't believe in Santa, then we didn't get anything. Santa only brings gifts to those that believe.

We also had "Happy Ghost". The light in the kitchen had a bad connection and would go on by itself at times. The next morning or just out of the blue we would find a small gift (Dollar store items -- chalk, paints, small toy) at our place on the kitchen table. Mom told us, "Well you must have done something really good."
I brought this tradition into my home with "Angel Jessie", a stuffed doll my sister got my oldest son when he was little and she was in the Air Force.

I'm 31 and still believe. I know that there isn't an actual person, but the joy of watching others, or getting that item that you've asked for all year is awesome.

Tell your child what you feel is best but let them enjoy it as long as you can.

Santa Claus (or St. Nicolas) is the spirit of giving at Christmas as long as you believe in him then you believe in giving, if not then you don't have to give. As far as telling her it is you she all ready doubts it is an actual person because she sees different ones every where during the holiday season. As for the bunny, I am sure she is aware of the fact a rabbit can't possibly carry baskets and eggs around all ready.

Dear M.,

I'm almost 66 and I still believe in both. Tell your daughter to enjoy both as long as she wants :~).

God Bless,

S.

I have three great little boys who still believe, but have nieces and nephews 8 to 39 and my answer has always been the same in regard to Santa Claus. I will always believe in the spirit of him. (Great movie Polar Express)

Kids grow up so fast... too fast! I always told my kids that when you stop believing in Santa, he stops bringing you presents. Let the magic last a little longer.;-)

What do you mean there's no Easter Bunny or Santa Clause. I believed up to about 12 years old.I was devistated when I learned the truth. They exist as long as the child believes.I discovered Santa Clause was my Daddy one year when I went to the shopping mall and Daddy had other kids sitting on his lap telling him what they wanted for Christmas he was dressed in a Santa suit.

I love the responses. When my older kids were in 3rd grade, after that Christmas we made sure the kids knew the 'truth'. It was phrased a lot about the spirit of the season, how santa celebrated the spirit in a fun way, did it really matter who brought the gifts. We especially made sure my son knew, we didnt' want him to be made fun of because he still believed in Santa. He had enough issues with friends. It is so nice to be able to shop and not worry who is with you when you find what you want! We stressed not telling others because that is something their parents should do, it wasn't my kids place. As far as I know, thye didn't.
R.