We all have such different experiences with bf. My first two were so hard, with one we ended up on the bottle and with my second, I pumped 8 x a day to get things going. They lost more than 10% of birth weight, so in addition to all the inherent difficulty (sore nipples, exhaustion, nipple confusion), we had to weigh in at the Dr.s every 48 hours. The whole thing was such a haze in my mind I cannot remember when it got easier. Frankly I think I'm burned out on BF before even starting with this child. All my children are very slow nursers. I remember being thrilled the first time a baby's feeding was lasting only 30 minutes at 6 months. Prior to that they nursed for over and hour. And if they didn't do that, they snack nursed all the day long!!!!!!! Anyways, here I am on baby # three at three weeks old and he started out great with 40 minute feedings, but we have regressed to hour -hour and 20 minutes feedings. As well, if its not an hour long feeding, it turns into a series of what I think are top offs, but then it all gets blurred until we aren't clearly at the beginning or end of a feeding. Not talking about cluster feeding here, I know al about that. I'm in the camp that believes in working towards full feedings so that you can begin to develop a schedule. Also, when feedings are longer than an hour, you spend about 8 hours a day BF, where as most woman spend about 6 hours a day BF a new born (and thats what my first week was like. Ahhh that was so nice). I'm wondering if I have the stamina to do this. Knowing how hard it was to succeed with number two, I prayed my third would be a good nurser. And while its not as stressful because his weight gain is good and I'm not pumping, I just don't know if I'm going to make it. (the reasons his feedings are taking so long and that he is snack feeding, is that I cannot keep him awake during the feeding) Yes I undress him, change him in the middle, tickle his feet, and rouse him continually, but nothing works. I feel certain that the gist of our problem is that he needs to wake up and feed. Did you have this problem? When does it get easier?
Sorry so jumbled. But as mother of three with a new born I don't have time to write this cohesively. Think I'm hoping for encouragement.
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as for the paci, he sometimes takes one from my mom (who thank God is still here helping me), but he will not take if from me. Its like he knows I'm withholding the real thing.
I have not tried the wet wash cloth. its sounds cruel and at the very least kind of rude, but I'm desperate enough to try it. thanks for the tip
If i pull him off the nipple when he is asleep he will do one of two things, nap, or start fussing within 5 minutes to eat some more. Usually the latter. When we get going down this road at night the feeding takes two hours. Uggg!
Newborns are sleepy. He should become more alert in the next few weeks.
Breastfeeding was difficult for me for 6 weeks with each of my three children for different reasons with each. After that, things were great.
Keep up the good work. It will pay off soon. Try to take advantage of these days and enjoy this time with him. He will grow and change so quickly.
BF got easier for me when I started pumping exclusively. But I decided to pump exclusively after I met with a lactation consultant several times. Maybe you should meet with a lactation consultant. I found them to be very helpful.
Have you tried a wet wash cloth? That always woke my son up. He was a hard sleeper. I do believe in waking newborns every 3 hours to eat during the day, that way they adjust to day/night within 1 week and are sleeping through by 4 or 5 weeks. I didn't do this with my first, what a mistake! So i totally get where you are coming from......
In any case, I always find the first 6 weeks to be hard, and then it gets easier. The pain goes away around 8 or 9 weeks, and then the milk supply evens out too. Also, you are right upon when baby will be more awake and won't be falling asleep all the time. At 4 weeks they really start to wake up!
Yes, nursing takes a lot of time, so I read A LOT. It's the only time I ever really get a chance to read, so I don't mind it at all.
Congrats, btw. My third is almost 6.5 months old! It's amazing how fast it all goes. it will go by fast. Cherish those long hours of sitting with baby. Read, read books to your other kids. Meal plan. Use the time to do sitting activities, and stop watching the clock. Let baby eat, and before you know it, baby will be eating every 4 hours (4-5 months), and you will get some time back. It won't be a giant blur, your hormones will adjust, and baby will be on a nap schedule. You will then have ME time, and it won't seem like such a bloody chore.
Hang in there! it really is worth it.
I got a lot of encouragement and confidence once I saw a lactation consultant. Whenever I go to baby showers and we play the game of giving different pieces of advice, mine is always the same... "Make an appointment with a lactation consultant!" If your pediatrician can't recommend one, go online and see what La Leche League says.
Sending you hugs right now...
With my daughter, the first six weeks were excruiating. After that, it clicked for both of us and it was BF nirvana.
With my son, he was always a snacker. He'd go on, then off - look around - go back... like I was an all-night Diner or something. After 9mos I got sick of it and cut him off. Needless to say, he was a half and half baby... half breast half formula. It worked out fine. He was also very sleepy in the beginning, and they said "wake him up." I ignored this advice... especially after he started gaining. He turned out fine.
Good luck.
It got easier in increments. The first weeks were hardest. Then by 4 we were doing better and by 6 I was doing pretty well. As you've learned, all babies are different. If you are struggling with a particular aspect of his nursing pattern, talk to a certified lactation consultant. Check out Kellymom.com. Get a sling or wrap and try nursing on the go.
edited: never mind, i thought he was older my bad.
are you sure you are understanding his hunger cry vs something else? I know that's tricky because you wouldn't be asking if you didn't think it was just hunger.
I guess I'm asking what does he do if you take him off the breast while he is sleeping? If undressing and ticking isn't working then he must really be sleeping, and not be eating.
does he not take a pacifier? because babies do need to suck, just to suck, not for food.
sorry not much help but good for you for sticking with it. isn't it so sweet to hold them and nurse them and snuggle up tight like that. I miss it.
First off, hang in there! You have already come so far! The pain and soreness should let up soon if baby's latch is good. My first two each had challenges, low supply for the first and weight loss for the second and refusal to take a bottle. Now with my third at nine weeks we are doing great. She started staying awake better at about four weeks. What has helped me the most this time was working closely with a lactation consultant. It seems funny that after nursing three babies I would have questions but all the right things to do when breastfeeding seem to be the opposite of what I think to do! I found my consultant through the hospital I delivered at with a new parents class. I know any new appointments or commitments are hard especially with two other kiddos, but I'm so glad I have been able to make it work with our schedule because it has helped tremendously. She has helped with everything from latch, thrush solutions, recovering from mastitis, keeping baby awake, increasing milk supply, and just a listening ear! Some even do home visits! Try checking with the hospital where you delivered, your pediatrician, or your OB for recommendations. Again, you are doing a great job and things will turn around soon!
I had problems with breast feeding my first born, who ended up taking a bottle instead. I pumped with him until my supply completely disappeared at 6 months. With my second, it took 6 weeks before things were going well. Now, at 6 months she is a champion nurser. She refuses a bottle or pacifier from anyone, and will go hungry for HOURS without milk if I do not nurse her. Keep at it it will get better! Is there a lactation consultant that you can talk to at the hospital where you gave birth? Or a La Leche League meeting near by? You should definitely look into meeting with someone to help you through this.
OH! This is terrible! Try the La Leche foundation - those ladies are wonderful, helpful people! There are breastfeeding cd's/tips/solutions out on their website as well.
It never got better for me. I did it because it was the right thing to do for my child. That's what drove me -every minute, every second, every instant. From day one when the little 'hoover vac' sucking baby latched on with energy and vigor of a baby monkey and choked down half the breast along with the nipple, it was 'ON' between us...RLOL! And proper nursing bras purchased in another state from a bra fitting specialist who was also a reflexologist and Medela's tendercare ointment became righteous products for me and baby!
I had my midwife give us goat's milk from her goat out back of her birthing facility to supplement my milk on day 2. My little one was hungry!
I tried the feeding schedule thing, the free feeding thing (except for at night), combinations of both, etc.. I finally purchased La Leche book/cd materials and called a lactation specialist who offered an overwhelmingly helpful approach to the subject. Then after 2.5 years she decided she was too big for tata and so did my body. We let it end naturally. I slowly decreased from JJJ sizes back to my normal c up size...
I am thankful I could breastfeed, it wasn't easy, I'd do it again, but I didn't personally appreciate it. But it was the right thing to do for my child.
With both of my babies the first three months were a blur of non-stop nursing. I easily spent 8 hours a day feeding. At about three months they started to settle into a routine. By six months we had a firm daytime routine and were able to drop night feedings altogether. By nine months we were only nursing about four times a day (breakfast, lunch, dinner and bedtime).
Neither of my babies would take a bottle or a pacifier.
With baby #1 I was able to sit around and feed the baby 8 all day, but with baby #2 I had to learn to feed on the go. I was able to nurse while I shopped, went to playgroups, at the playground or going for a walk.
Get in the routine of feeding baby when he first wakes up as opposed to when it is time to sleep.
I think by 6 weeks everything is pretty settled, and then they start their growth spurts and they need more, so it gets crazy again. I don't really know though, my story is different from most.
I had the same issue with you, and couldn't take it. I started formula feeding at that time, and then a month later decided it was an incredibly dumb decision to stop and I started the process of relactating (with the help of a midwife that has a lot of experience with breastfeeding mothers). This is much more difficult than just working through breastfeeding issues, but I think I have some tips to help you keep at it. What I really needed was a break from the constant breastfeeding. I couldn't pump (my body had a really hard time with it and just wouldn't produce it for the pump), but if you can, you should try to get someone else to feed your child for at least one time during the night, maybe another time during the day as well. That way you can get a full 2 or 3 hours of sleep and not be nursing (or more if you are getting at least that). You could also try doing this extra feeding with formula if you can't pump. Just one small feeding a day won't hurt anything, it will let your body and mind recover a little, so that you can continue until you get through this part. You could have a really slow flow, which is why your baby is falling asleep (I think this was my issue). Once they get older this isn't as big of a deal, but for an infant, they fall asleep. See if you can hold out a little longer when your child seems like he is hungry, try to get to an hour between real feedings (where he doesn't fall asleep), and then you can start stretching out the time a little more. It is really important to just make it through the next couple of weeks, and then it should just get better, so just do what you have to, and get through this hard time. Good luck.
Oh, one more thing, cosleeping for naps really helped me as well. That way you both get to rest, when he wakes up, you just pop him on, and it isn't really taking you any extra effort, so you can get more rest (lack of sleep with constant nursing will destroy your sanity and make you think you can't continue if you already have doubts and problems).
Of course you know all kids are different.
With my first BF got easier by 3 weeks or so- until teeth but I will spare you.
With my second, she had acid reflux and still to this day is the slowest eater on earth ( she savors every bite) and she is 2 .
What I did with her is pumped druing every feeding time and bottled her. I could not get that child to latch and stay going.
You might want to try giving a 4 oz botle to (BM or Formula your choice).. get the strenght up. Keep pumping and pumping and pumping.. Maybe a few days of bottles will helpe get the strenght up and then the nursing will become easer.
If falling asleep they told me to undress them, take a cold rag and wipe them down to wake them up to eat.
Good luck. You need to do what is good for you.
The short answer - with my first, never; with my second, by two months.
My first NEVER got the hang of breastfeeding. We struggled for eight weeks before I finally gave up. I consulted several lactation consultants and we rented a hospital grade pump because my supply never did come in. We were the blind leading the blind in spite of all the help we got. He was losing weight steadily, would not stay awake for longer than five minutes during any feeding despite trying EVERYTHING (undressing, tickling feet, jiggling, jostling, dancing/nursing/butt patting, feeding in an upright position, rubbing his hair vigorously, cold wash cloths, etc.) and then would wake within twenty minutes screaming and hungry. All of my doctors (regular, OB and pediatrician) commented on how hard asleep he became after a feeding started. It was a boobie juice induced coma. Sigh. The constant feeding and weight loss was a vicious cycle which ground me to pieces. For everyone's sanity I switched him to formula. I wanted to enjoy my baby and not be so flipping focused on his food and feedings.
With my second it was day and night different. He seemed to know what he was doing from the get go. With a little input from a lactation consultant we worked through the difficulties we encountered early on and hit our stride by two months. I feel very spoiled with my second and how the nursing has worked out. We are still going strong at nine and a half months. Good luck and wishing you smooth waters soon. Congratulations also.
Hugs, and keep at it! I found the first month to be the hardest. I kept going with my oldest son because I was single and formula seemed to be far to expensive and inconvenient to even consider. After the first 3-4 weeks, it was like we both "got it" and it was much easier from there on out. With my 2nd and 3rd babies, I had to remind myself to grind out that first month no matter what and that really, it would get easier, and it did. I was able to bf my 1st for a year, my 2nd for 17 months and my 3rd until he was over 2 years old.
Hang in there, he will eventually become more alert and it really will get easier - congrats on your new little guy!
How is his latch, and how is your milk production?
Maybe take him in to a breastfeeding consultant and check his latch and your production.
If either is not on par, maybe that is why he is not an efficient nurser.
And seems to be snacking.
That happened with a friend of mine, her baby was not a not a good latcher, her milk production was not good, and her baby was not getting enough intake etc. and was always seemingly, hungry.
So she went to a consultant. And it made a world of difference.
Some babies just don't latch well or suck well. Or milk production is not optimum.
So seek a professional's help?
Another possibility:
Just unlatch him when he falls asleep. And then you said he "fusses" 5 minutes later. Well, maybe he is just fussing... per him going to sleep and he just makes sleepy noises??? His noises not being because he is hungry, per say. My son was like that... he made all kinds of noises when he was sleepy or falling, asleep. So I got to know his sounds.... and then I knew if it was due to being hungry, or him just making his sleepy sounds. I nursed on-demand. Round the clock. But, I knew... when/if my son's fussing or sounds, was due to him just falling asleep or him being hungry.
It's possible that he's not a slow nurser but that you aren't producing enough milk. Happened to me--I was starving my son with my good intentions to bf. On Dr advise I nursed for 15 minutes/side then followed up with a bottle; did that for a month and totally gave up bf. IT'S OK TO BOTTLE FEED.
