Stopping the M&M Giving After Potty

We just went through this. I showed her a calendar. We picked a date together on it, and I told her after we weren't going to need special treats each time we go to the potty. Instead, we will go to the store and you get to choose a big girl toy. She chose a scooter. Also told her we could't eat too many candies or special treats b/c we might get cavities and I showed her my black fillings from when I was a kid. A little bit of lying, but it got her off the candy. Good luck.

My friend used a plastic, see-through container that her child couldn't open and put them up high somewhere in the bathroom. The child could see the M&Ms slowly going away, and was warned repeatedly that once they're all gone, they're gone! They had a little party when he finished the M&M jar, and the child knew that it was time to say goodbye to them.

we used to do the chart or calendar idea too. maybe every two weeks treat her to something she likes to do that you can do together, ice cream cone, movie, rent a movie & stay up later w/ popcorn, an inexpensive toy or book. or once a month if it's not too long

My son still asks for the treats occasionally since he potty-trained in February at 2.5 years and I stopped giving him treats in March. He used to throw a tantrum now and then, but I just said he was a big guy now and did he notice how Daddy and Mommy don't get treats for going on the toilet? "You did really well at having a poop or a pee on the toilet!" or "You are so good at knowing when you need to go!" I would substitute praise for a treat and just try to distract and stay positive. He loves praise and hugs and kisses. It won't last forever. Don't give in, she will be fine. But it sure can grate on your good graces to hear the whining :)

Show her the bag of M and Ms, when it is gone hold up your hands, give her a semi-sad look and say, "Well, they are all gone, guess you get HUGS instead!" Grab her up and give her kisses and hugs. Yes, she might pout but hopefully it will help you move on.

Greetings Stephine: Congradulations on the new baby.
I have found from potty training my 5 and several other children (as foster mother and as day care) that the M&M thing can be expanded into many other areas after potty training.
I would tell the children they got an extra story at bed time for doing so well, gave them 4 extra minuets to stay up at bed time if they did alright in the day ( to a little one 4 minuets is like an hour) and the one my adult children still laugh about is the " way to go song we made up" -- we changed the words but kept the same tune. Now my Grandchildren are learning it from their parents.

My daughter in law is doing a big deal out of flushing the toilet instead of giving m&ms and itis working for her.
Good Luck and God Bless your little family, Nana G

With my daughter we went from an m&m every potty to just poop. Then we went to a sticker chart. Now we do nothing. But if she has an accident we go back to rewarding for a week.

substitute the m&m's for fruit ie raisins or grapes, they aren't addictive like sugary chocolate and she'll ween off on her own.

Make a chart and put stickers/stars/checks on it and a certain number of stars will earn her something (based on how long you think she can wait)---still a treat, but takes more time to earn, so it's not every time, but always praising (sincerely, not exaggerated, kids can tell when you fake your enthusiasm). Then, after a while you can raise the expectations again, and eventually find something else to focus on--- In other words she mastered the potty, she can learn a new skill because she is a "big girl". When she is mature enough, gradually switch to just praise, not external rewards.
The idea is that she should learn to be intrinsically motivated (from the inside, for a sense of personal accomplishment), instead of extrinsically motivated (thinking nothing is worth doing, or has any value unless it comes with a "prize").
It makes me sad that good intentioned Granny gave too many prizes to my (step)kids for so long, that when we praise them for good behavior and tell them how proud we are of them, the youngest (9) will still ask us "So...do we get a prize??". We always tell him he JUST DID!---that having people think good things about him, and enjoying him, and being proud of him is the best prize he can ever get--much better than a piece of candy or a plastic toy. Someday, hopefully soon, it may come to him that we are speaking the truth...

Try giving it to her every other time, then every two times, then every three times. then only once a day. Countdowns really work for children.

You could do sticker charts or I for awhile I gave her pennies to put in her piggy bank. You may want to hold on to the M&M's in case your daughter regresses after the new baby comes. This has happened to almost everyone I know.

You can draw stars on a chart and make 10 stars equal a treat then ease off of that after awhile.

Try a sticker chart, where she gets an m&m after a certain amount of stickers. You can gradually fade it to more and more stickers until she doesn't care about the m&ms or stickers anymore. Good luck!

I gave stickers to earn a hot pretzel at the mall. Every time my daughter earned a pretzel, it took more stickers the next time to earn one (first it was five, then 10, then 15, then 25, then 50). Perhaps you could make a similar switch? Mark down that she potties, but it takes twice the successful bathroom visits to earn an M&M, next week it takes 3 or 4 times, etc. Eventually my daughter stopped asking for the stickers for the chart.

We did something like this and it worked well (only we used Pez candy):
Get a very small package of M&Ms. Every time she goes, show her the bag while you give her the candy. Be sure to remark how there aren't very many left. And heap on lots of praise of how well she has done with the potty and what a big girl she's becoming. Let her see in the bag so she knows there are only a few left, and so it won't be a total surprize when they're gone. If she asks about if you can get more. Tell her she has graduated to the ultimate potty prize--then take her to the store to choose her own big girl panties that she'll get to wear over and over again.

Just a suggestion... perhaps you could tell her that now that she's a big girl there's a different way to have the M & M's and make a time of day that she'll get a few as a treat. I would maybe put that as something she might have after an afternoon snack of something nutritious. The main thing in my mind is that she doesn't decide to regress on her potty training because she isn't getting the treats. You might even want to tie it to the potty training that she gets them at the snack time 'because' she is now such a big girl going potty. You can probably give her a total amount at one time that she would have been getting otherwise during the day to start.

We transitioned from Jelly Beans to the reward jar in our house. That seemed to work well. It is a long time to wait for the jar to be filled so I would give a small toy for each milestone he reached (25 marbles, 50 marbles, etc.) We would count marbles while sitting on the potty after dinner. This gave him something to do and allowed him to stay on the potty to make sure he was empty before bed.

I wouldn't worry about it too much. I have never heard any grown woman in the rest rooms asking for M&M's after she pees. If she is 100% trained she will go on her own and it shouldn't be an issue. I trained my son with M&M's also.

Hi S.-
I would suggest a rewards jar. Your daughter is old enough to understand and work for good behavior benefits. Use the jar not only for potty time, but for all other really good behavior. Instead of filling it with M & M's, fill it with marbles. Use a good sized jar. Then, when it is full, reward her. Make sure to use lots of praise for all of her good behavior, potty included. When she is good, she can help by putting marble in the jar. When she is not good, she must take a marble out of the jar. However, I would not take one out for potty mishaps- those are accidents. You can do 2 separate jars- one for potty that is smaller and one for general behavior. This teaches her behavior and rewards her at the same time for her potty training. Have her choose one of 2 or 3 options as her reward- like a day at the park or a small bag of M& M's. Whatever you are comfortable with.
I hope this helps!
-E.