Small Children Sharing a Room

Both of our kids have always shared a room. We have a boy 6 and a girl 4, and they are great friends. We have never had a huge problem with them playing when they are supposed to be sleeping, but they do get the giggles sometimes. We are in the room right next door, so all we have to say is, "go to sleep," and they get quiet. We don't really mind if they whisper to each other for a few minutes before they fall asleep. It's actually funny to listen to the conversations they have. We decided to add a basement so that they will have their own rooms. It isn't quite done yet,(husband is doing all the finish work) but we know that even if it was, they are not ready to be down there alone. Being that they are opposite genders they will eventually be separated, but no need to yet. I think sharing a room is a great thing for young kids. They learn to help each other clean the room because it isn't just one or the others(teamwork). I think it helps in keeping our family close knit for now because we don't all retreat to different areas of the house. Our kids spend a lot of time playing together, reading together, and just being kids together. As they get older I know this will change a bit, but as freaked out as I was as the idea of our kids sharing a room, I am so glad they do.

I have two children that share a room. They have been sharing there room for almost two years. They are currently 5 and just turned 3. The older is a girl and the younger a boy. It has worked fine. We do have a playroom so I try and keep all of the toys down there. They do have a few stuffed animals, dolls, and books in their room. I do not allow them to take toys to bed. They may sleep with a doll or stuffed animal of their choice. We do their bedtime routine which is get dressed for bed, brush teeth, read a book and then I sit quietly in their room for 5 minutes. They use a nightlight. At the end of 5 minutes I give them each a kiss good night and leave their room. We have had very few problems with them playing together after I tuck them in, maybe twice in the two years. I will tell them that it is bedtime and that they need to get their sleep for tomorrow. This is usually all that needs to be done. So far it has worked fine but I know that every child is different. If they are doing fine with their bedtime routine now it should work, just watch for jealousy of the change. Good luck.

Hi D.,

I have three children who are spaced a little less than 2 1/2 years apart. We moved our first into her "big girl" room on her 2nd birthday. Our second, of course, was in the nursery. When our third was born, we moved #2 into a daybed in the nursery and she shared with the baby. The baby never woke her. It worked beautifully for us. Just wanted to give you an idea.

Also, if you'd really prefer the two older ones share a room, "google" for some ideas. Also, check out Home Depot/Lowe's for books on childrens' rooms. Often they have examples (really cool ones) of shared rooms.

Best wishes,
L.

We have always had our kids sharing rooms, just because of our living situations when they came along. We lived in a 2bdrm (condo and then house) until one week before #5 was born, so at one point we had 4 kids under age 6 sharing a room. Sure there were times when nap time or bed time just didn't work out, and at one point we just took out all of the playthings (we have a photo of things lined up down the hall at bedtime! lol) to get them to go to sleep.

The one thing that I found made the biggest difference was being more hands on. We had wanted (hoped?) to be able to just put our kids to bed for the night (or down for a nap) and shut the door and move on with life. Obviously that didn't work well with that many little ones in the same room! What we went to was either myself or my husband sitting at their door until they were asleep or close to it. We would read a few chapters out of a book to them and then either just sit there in the dark, or sit there reading a book to ourselves or some other quiet activity that wouldn't distract them at all. The longest it ever took was about 30min, and it turned out to be a great way for us to relax and start winding down for the evening as well. Would it have been more convenient some nights to not do that? Sure, but I learned very quickly that it was much easier to put forth that effort as part of the routine instead of having to go back to the room and repeatedly put kids back into bed.

Though we live in a 6bdrm house now, we still have them all sharing rooms except the baby-and that was for my own selfish reasons-I wanted a nursery since I'd never had one! : ) Now they are used to being together (we have 6 kids sharing, 2 to a room) and rarely have problems with bed time, and even when they tend to stay up later, I enjoy hearing them talking together as they lay in bed.

There are tricky moments, but I love them learning to share a room-especially since odds are they will share a room most of their lives, whether it be with a sibling, a roommate, or a spouse!

D.,
My children are the same age as yours and we are currently working dilegently to get my daughter (youngest) to stay in her bed at night. Just transitioned her into a big girl bed. I would suggest if you are not currently pregnant but working on it I would wait as long as possible so that the youngest may truley learn to go to bed and stay in bed. When the time comes you may have some, talking but hopefully the consistancy will have sank in that they don't get up and play. Best of luck, as I know this is such a hard time. My son does great I can put him in bed and he only gets up to potty or if he needs more water. I can't wait till she is there.

N.

I went through the same thing when I moved to SD, but it was 4 kids in one bedroom, what I did becuase the playing became bad and the girls had school in the morning and they didnt want to get. I put a sheet up (from the ceiling to the floor, should be a dark one so they cant see through it)make sure thier beds are as far apart as possible. Normaly if they cant see eachother they dont play, not promising anything but thats what I did and it worked.

My kids are 2 years apart, but it did not work for them to share a room. The older one pestered the little one and got them both into trouble. It would take them an hour if they even did get to sleep.
But they HAD to share, so I started putting the younger one to bed first, then the older one thought it was kind of adventurous to have to be super quiet getting in bed. It worked much better.
At first, the older one (at age 3) thought it would be so much fun to sleep with his adorable baby brother, but after being awaken by crying in the night and in the morning, he got tired of it pretty fast. he liked the company, but not the intrusion.
But now we have enough room that they don't have to share and it's much easier. i think it depends on their personalities and how they interact with each other. it just didn't work with my kids.
that said, we'll be trying it later, when they're older and have a little more self control. I want them to learn to live with other people.

Hello-
Our two toddlers shared a room too. We started by put them down about 15 minutes apart, then progressed to put them down together. That way it was an understood behavior that bedtime was sleep time, not play time. Every now and then, we have an issue, but not too often.

My kids love it! And they go to bed quite quickly. They just have to get over the novelty of it and they'll be fine. My kids feel more secure and safe having the other one in there with them. Sometimes one will wake the other one up in the morning, but its usually not by too much.

Our 3 kids all share and it works fine, although toys are sometimes a cause of fighting since there's not a lot of room to spare. We never had a problem really with bedtime because they've always shared. Occasionally we have to remind the boys it's not playtime, but usually if we give them 10-15 minutes, they're settled down and at least one is on their way to sleep and the other quickly follows. They're 2.5 and 5.5 now. Baby is 6 months. Her biggest issue now is she doesn't want to be put to bed without someone else. She's getting better. If she sees they're getting ready, she waits to make sure the boys are going to bed, too. GL!

My kids are three years apart but started sharing a room when my son was five months old. At first it was fine, the baby went down first and thirty minutes later my daughter went to bed. When they got older I had issues with them goofing, talking and all of that, so I staggered bedtimes even more so. There is a 45 to hour gap in between and my son thankfully falls asleep fast and when my daughter goes in she is to be quiet. If one gets up to go to the potty they are not to flush and get back in bed and go back to sleep. Just have had to stand firm and it works. In the mornings my son used to wake up a lot earlier, I would make him come into my room and go back to sleep so he didn't wake his sister.

At the younger ages of your children, still stagger bedtimes, that gives the oldest some empowerment for being the oldest and gets some one on one time with you.
Do it now before the baby comes so they aren't shocked with all the changes. Do naps one in your bed maybe and the other in their bed. I had to do this until my daughter was done with naps. Put a baby gate on the bedroom to prevent them getting up and out.

Make sure you have black out curtains so it is dark and let them know if it is dark they are to stay put. Do charts as a reward system who stays in bed and is quiet and make it a game.

If they get used to it, it isn't a biggie after a while. Mine are four and seven and I have to probably move soon and keep talking about them having their own room and they freak at the thought as they love sleeping in the same room!
Good luck and Congrats!

My kids were about that age when we put them in the same room. We just have always had a strict bedtime routine. They would lay in their beds while we read to them and then they knew it was bed time and we never had a problem with them getting out. Now they hate sleeping alone. They won't go to bed without the other one. At one time we even had three to a room when our twins were born. Sometimes they complain that the other one is disturbing them, but we would go in and explain to the one bothering that everyone needs to be quiet so they can all get a good sleep. For some reason they listen pretty good at bedtime. The hardest thing is getting them on the same bedtime, so they go down at the same time. You could try putting the younger one down first and an hour later quietly putting the 3 year old to bed. It is really do able, just be patient and teach them the correct way to go to bed. Now when I have babysitters put them to bed they always comment how well my kids go to bed, so it is totally worth it.

My girls (ages 5 and 2) share a room. When our second daughter was born, we had a 2 bedroom apartment and had a very hard time because my youngest would cry and keep my oldest up after we tried moving her into the other room with her sister from ours. We now have another baby (no longer in the apartment, in a house now), but they share and are doing much better. It takes a lot of patience and consistency, but they will sleep. We explained to them that sleep time is sleep time whether or not you have a sister in the room or not and they leave each other alone (for the most part- occasionally, I'll find the 2 year old in bed cuddling with her sister). We got them a bunk bed (wouldn't recommend it for your kids yet) and they love that. Good luck!

My 2 oldest share a room. They are 5 and almost 3 & they have been in the same room for almost a year & a half. I always tell the kids that they can talk quietly or sing to each other, as long as they are lying in their beds under the covers & they don't get loud or crazy. Most of the time it works. If they start getting loud, I tell them that the consequence of not being able to go to sleep is that they can't sleep in the same room & one of them will have to sleep in the guest room in the basement. They love being in their room & hate to be separated, so it works really well as a natural consequence to their behavior. The only downside is that my 5 year old doesn't need quite as much sleep as my 2 year old & when she tries to get up, it always wakes up the 2 year old. But for us, the bonus of having them all together close to us outweighs the down side. Good luck!