Okay, my son just started kindergarten at a great school. The problem is, although there is child care until 6, few kids are there at that time except my son the teachers aid and the janitors (really). Last week he asked if I could pick him up at 2:30, I asked "What happens at 2:30?", he said "that's when everyone else goes home". My heart was broken. Everyday since then, he asks if I could pick him up at 2:30. I work full time and don't get off until 5pm. I run out of here everyday to get to him as quick as I can and everyday, he's the only kid there. After driving to work in tears this morning, I decided that I would ask my boss if I could work 32 hours a week instead of 40. When I told my sister, she said "He'll get used to it". I don't want him to get used to it. I talked to my husband and he was on board. There would be some financial sacrafices to make, but I would be soooo happy to spend more time with him. What do you guys think?
Thank you all soooo much for your very helpful responses. It has helped me to solidify by feelings to be there for my little guy at all costs.
So, I went to my Director that afternoon and told her the situation and that I wanted to cut my hours from 40 hours to 30-32 hours a week. She told me that she too has the same issue as I do with her little girl. She said her little girl cries almost everyday because she wants her mom to be there for her more than she is. She politely said it's the way that it has to be and that we both have to feel bad but "trudge on". I was not expecting that answer. I said okay and thanked her for her time. That night I started my quest to find a part time job that will allow me to be there for my son. Not just so he won't be the last kid picked up but because that is where my heart and soul is EVERDAY. If that means I give up some luxuries, so be it. I am very relieved and I'm glad I FINALLY made this decision. Thank you all gain for you help.
Good for you! A child asks for lots of things but this is a need. good mommy move!!!! He'll be old before you know it and what a lovely story he will have to tell about the sacrifice his mom made when it was important and really meant something...
good for you.... if you can afford, go for it.
Or, you can try out to share a nanny with other family. It worked for my friend who share a nanny with another family. Then, the kids indeed can play together or do homework together after school. An option to think about it.
You could also look into a different after-school program. My son is picked up from kindergarten and taken to another daycare...he loves it. He gets more outdoor play and seems to be thriving.
I did it and had no regrets. Then I quit my job completely because the kids meant more to me then any old job! But you have to do what is right for you and your child. My heart broke when he made that request to you. Can you change day care? I am just seeing if you have more options. Also can you do some of your work at home? Good luck and hug your son for me!!
I hear ya girlfriend. No amount of $$$ is worth the precious time with your little one. He would get used to it, no doubt, but you are right! I gave up magazines, Starbucks, manicures and lunches out to be home with my baby and I know I mad the right choice!
If you can spend more time with you child, then do it. These years will fly by and you have the rest of your life to work.
Your son needs you now more than ever. You don't get this time back. Kindergarten is such a wonderful year. Cherish it with him and do fun things after pick-up. I would live in a smaller house and give up one of our two cars if I had to in order to be there at the end of the day to be with my kids. There is nothing more important.
Like another poster said, no one looks back and wishes they spent less time with their child. 8am - 6pm is a long time for a 5 or 6 year old to be away from home, especially if they're not active and busy with friends the entire time. If your son is asking to be home with you and you can swing it financially and career-wise, it sounds like a great decision to cut your hours back. My husband and I have made a few similar choices in order to be home more with our kids. It's certainly limited my job possiblities (I need to be done by 2:30 in order to pick them up) and his job flexibility (he can't get to work until 8:30), so in the end we feel like it's worth it.
I say go for it but also consider YOUR future regarding in your job. Are you more likely to be laid off since you're considered part time now? Not sure what your position is...What if you wanted to change back to full time? How open would they be to that and when would you want to do that?
I'm just saying, really carefully think this through...Right now you're very upset and it's heartbreaking...and I'm sure you're really feeling the working mom guilt. But take a step back and consider your own future as well. Good luck with whatever you choose and have fun with your little guy no matter what hours you work. Remember it's the quality, not quantity of time you spend with him overall. :)
If you can afford it (kind of) and boss says ok.....Go for it! He's only little once, you have the rest of your life to work :)
I think it's a great idea.
HOWEVER
Here's a third option:
Look into alternate daycare. It may well be that MOST of the kids are being bussed to the YMCA Afterschool program or YMCA KidsUniversity, or similar. First place to check would be with the afterschool program at your school. They would probably know if there is a more popular program other kids go to. If not, the front office should know (because they have the bus routes, and know if any programs send their own bus to pick up kids).
Hello, Some parents don't have a choice. If your boss is okay with you cutting your hours, then why not? You have many more years for your son to "get used to it". Follow your heart.
Good luck with your precious little boy.
K. K.
I would cut my hours.
Some say 'he'll get used to it' but that doesn't mean it is good for him emotionally. Yeah, people do have chronic pain, they are used to it, but pain still hurts . . .
I don't know what time his day starts but 3.5 hours after school ends - that's a long time to be with out the one you depend on most in the world. Remeber, he's only been walking and talking for just about 3, 3.5 years. He's still a little boy who really needs you.
If you and your husband can make some sacrifices and manage this, I say YES YES YES. I'd be heart broken too if my kid were the only child (almost) at school for 3.5 hours. If he has friends and is happy there, that's one thing but that's not the case. I am lucky in that, though I work full time and sometimes late, my daughter is at her grandma's after school.
No kid wants to be the last one. It was one of my son's worst fears. I think your sacrifice will pay off tremendously in the long run. Congratulations, too, on being in a position to make those sacrifices. Not everyone could.
Hi T.,
If it is financially possible, I would tell you to do it!! I adjusted my hours also and I think it was the best decision I could have made. I am able to drop off and pick up my kids everyday.We get home and I get to hear all about their day,help with homework, read, or whatever is necessary.Usually by the time Dad gets home all is done and we all get to enjoy the evening together.They love it as much as I do!! Good Luck with whatever you decide, you wont regret it!! :)
If you can do it ... do it. This time only comes around once.
I havent read the responses below but CUT YOUR HOURS! I feel it is a must. Find ways of cutting your costs, sacrafice a little, and make it happen. You will not regret it. You will be cutting the cost of the extra care right off the bat. Lower your cell phone and cable packages, shop other auto/home insurance companies to lower the payments. Every little bit will helps. Good luck!
Go for it!! The school years go by SO fast. Make the most of your time together!!
Cut your hours. You won't regret it. Up until recently (when I got a new boss) I worked 8:30-4 and I loved it. It really reduced my stress level and the financial sacrifices were minimal.
If your boss is amenable, then I would definitely go for it! Good luck!
Good for you! I think you made the right choice.
If you feel this strongly about it, and can do it, go for it. Both my husband and I work part time, mostly because that is what work we can get right now, and although we are always tight financially, we love having so much time with our son. I think the extra time is worth it, and as long as you aren't on the brink every month (no money at the end, we are there right now because my work isn't steady), you will most likely love your decision.
Also, I was one of those kids at the after school program until 6, and although it wasn't always the best, it wasn't that bad. There were some other kids there, so I pretty much always had kids to play with. I knew that my dad couldn't get me earlier, and I accepted it. He will get used to it, and it will be fine either way.
Cut back if you can. Follow your heart! Your son is only this small once, and it goes by so quickly. I work part-time myself to be with my 4 year old as much as I can. We suffer financially, but I know in the end, it is so worth it to my child. I know the stress you feel, I hope you can make it work, Good Luck Awesome Momma!
Are you able to make up your hours on Saturday's?
My cousin was in the same situation- She use to leave a hour early each day & she'd go in at midnight and be out of the office by 5am & able to spend time w/her family.
Or can your husband take your son to school you start earlier and be able to leave early. Just to keep your hours.
If none of these work & you feel like p/u your son @ 2:30pm works for you go for it!!
Hope everything works out
If your company will let you cut your hours and you can manage the financial cut, I'd go for it. Be sure you calculate in any cuts in benefits, like health insurance, if 32 hours would take you to part-time status.
If you can swing it - do it!! I take my lunches sometimes and go have lunch with my kids at school. I go on all of their field trips (I make sure to save my leave to do this) and I'm there for every possible event. My nanny gets them off the bus at 345 and I'm home by 430...so they don't have too much time with her. She does get them on the bus too - I leave at 645 and the bus comes at 821. But it works out. They're okay with it. If I could swing it, I'd want to be home with them more too.
i think if it won't seriously damage your career-- go for it. I pick up my girls at around 3:00 most days but once a week or so they stay at school until 4:30.... it works for us. but I've noticed this year (1st grade) my daughter likes going to aftercare for an hour or so to hang out with her friends and do their homework together -that's what they do first in after school care-- then they run around and play like crazy :) I like it because her homework is basically done and she has had some running around time (they have them play running games all over the field). that way we can relax when we get home and play and talk (esp b/c her little sister has really started to "bug" her whenever she tries to do her homework-- kinda cute (b/c she wants big sister's attention) but i know annoying to the older one.
As your son gets older, the situation may change. he may want to stay after school a little while or take an after school class if they have them... so, if you wanted, you could ramp up more at work again. I really think parents (and non parents) should have more flexibility in their work hours as life changes, etc
good luck and enjoy your little one :)
yes. cut your hours.. I quit my job after the 2nd child and I am so glad I did.
Next year I will have a kindergarden adn a first grader.. I keep thinking I could go back to work.. but there is no way I could work full time without them being in latchkey 2 hours per day plus the 7 hours per day of school. That is a lot for little ones.. I dont want them at school form 9-6 every day..
YES! If you can afford it, financially and the potential loss of benefits that come with working full time.
However, if you or your boss want you to work 40 hours, perhaps, you could make arrangements that you could pick him up early three days a week. Then the other two days you work a little longer or go in earlier or something.
Or perhaps he could go home with one of his friends a couple of days a week.
Make sure you understand the pros and cons of your deicision. If the pros outweigh the cons then you have your decision.
If you can afford it (I mean really afford it) AND your boss is okay with it, then go for it. I would suggest agreeing to a trial period before making a commitment to the reduced hours. Consider all aspects of your reduced schedule... 401, benefits, salary, vacation time/sick time. If you are no longer a full-time employee you may not be entitled to any of these any longer.
I would also check with the teacher to see what time the other children are getting picked up. If there is literally NO ONE there except him after 2:30 then you may want to find another after care arrangement. It's possible, though, that many children are there until 5:00 or even 5:15 which is an entirely different situation.
If you can swing it, go for it but consider the short and long-term impact and be prepared for your boss to say "no".
I would try a different program not cut the hours. He will adjust. You will still have time with him. It's not like he's at a babysitter till 9 pm & you never see him awake.
Why don't you look for another program. There are many programs in the area that will pick the kids up from school and take them to their centers where they can spend the afternoon doing homework, playing with other kids and otherwise having an absolutely spendid time! I notice you live in Upland, and I know Tutor Time in Upland as well as the YMCA offers this service. But, I'm sure there are others. If he's with other kids he will enjoy it so much more!
Another thought: Hire a college student to pick him up after school and bring him home and stay with him until you return. She would be able to help him with his homework, get him to any after school activities and even arrange play dates. My college-age daughter and some of her friends do this.
Good luck!
Kids get 1 childhood. You will never get this time back. Also, he will get used to it. There are 2 sides.
see if you can commit to 2 to 3 days a week to pick him up early maybe???
T., I don't think anyone ever goes to their grave wishing they had spent LESS time with their children.
If you can make it happen, GO FOR IT!
My boss was incredibly flexible when I needed to switch my hours after I had my baby. They'd most likely rather keep you PT than hire & train someone else, right?
This seems very odd. And this is contrary to your other answers.. Is this a public school? Obviously, it is up to YOUR schedule, but it seems to me that IF you are entitled to a full day program, you should GET it, no questions asked. Don't put your job in jeopardy, especially in this economy. And don't feel guilty!
Another option would be to see if another family at the school would be willing to take him in during that time. That way, he'll have a playdate, that family has an extra income.
