Potty Training My 2 Yr Old Son

Updated on September 28, 2006
S.G. asks from Portland, OR
26 answers

I've tried it all... stickers, rewards, feel and learn diapers... I have a 3 month old and cant continue changing two sets of diapers. He has no interest at all... any suggestions on how I can get him interested? Everything I read says not to force the issue that eventually he'll want to do it when he is ready. Its been several months now that I've tried off and on... I need some tricks I can try. Thx!

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So What Happened?

Thank you everyone for all of your advice. I think I'm going to hold off temp. with the potty training and wait for a really good week where I can spend a lot of time with Zack. I went ahead and purchased some potty training underwear and I'm just going to let him wear those and wet himself to see if I get a reaction... if that doesn't work then I'll hold off for awhile and try again. They make diapers SO absorbant these days that I think it's delaying the progress of our little ones to be potty trained. Back in our day we were all potty trained by 2 at the latest - my mom said it was cause diapers pretty much sucked then. I might have to switch to cloth (ugh) for a short while so my son starts understanding whats going on down there... I think thats really what the issue is.
Thanks again everyone!

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L.B.

answers from Spokane on

I'm definitely not an expert, but I have a son and he didn't get potty trained all the way until he was almost 4. I've always heard that boys take a little longer than girls and it seems to be true. I tried everything to potty train him, but nothing seemed to work until he was ready. I know you don't want to hear that, but it's true. I will say that putting cheerios in the toilet and having him try to shoot them with his pee pee was fun:)

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B.L.

answers from Phoenix on

S.,

I tried to potty train my son at two also and it did not work. I tried everything. But then I let it go until he was three and he got interested and in no time was doing it on his own. It also helped to have his dad go with him while his dad had to go and show him how to be a big boy using the bathroom. I wouldnt push the issue until he starts acting interested. Good luck

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F.H.

answers from Portland on

It is true that they will do it when they are ready. I had three kids in diapers all at the same time and it really isn't that tough. In fact, it makes it easier if you just change them all at the same time each day, like an assembly line. But, if you are really set on getting him trained, I would suggest taking him into the bathroom every 30 minutes and puttig him on the potty, even if he does not go. That way, he will at least get the hang of it. It may still take awhile, but it will eventually work. Another method might be to switch to cloth diapers so he feels all yucky.

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T.H.

answers from Chico on

Most kids aren't ready till about 3 years old. 2 Years is still young for most kids.

I would try and do more online research to support your early training.

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M.Z.

answers from Missoula on

Okay I know this may sound really mean...but when my son was around that age I had to hurry and get him potty trained because the montesori school I was trying to get him into wouldn't accept children who weren't potty trained...here's what I did; since you've obviously worked with him on what the potty means...you just take away the diapers (except at night) any time he wets his pants you take him to the bathroom, set him on the toilet and exlain to him that he goes potty on toilet.. Kids do not like to be in wet underpants!! Then, make him take off his wet undies and wash them in the sink. I know this sounds sooo terrible but kids not only do not like to be in wet undies but they also do not like to touch gross panties...My son was potty trained after 1 week of having him do this. I did try all the other things...talking about it, putting him on the toilet every 20 minutes, ect..and you still need to continually ask him if he has to go potty but if you need it done- this worked for me.

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B.F.

answers from Eugene on

I have found out, (with dealing with my own now 5 yr old son) that you have to let them do it at their own pace. You said he's not interested in it one bit... I wouldn't force it. It will most likely kick ya in the rear if you force it.

What I did with my son (after I realiszed that he will do it in HIS time and not just cuz I WANT him to do it) was I got a potty chair. I put it in the bathroom and everytime I went in to go myself, i made him sit on it. Clothed. We talked about it all the time, espically in the bathroom. I borrowed from the library a book from Bear in the Big Blue House about potty training. Eventually we worked up to actually sitting on it.

I know what you mean about having more than 1 in diapers. I have 3 kids and even now at 4 & 5, my oldest still wear pull-ups at night cuz I'm not even attempting to night train.

Really the only advice I have for you is not to push him. He will do it when he's ready but there is nothing wrong with starting the process now... Just don't expect it to happen overnight (I DON'T BELIEVE YOU CAN PT A CHILD IN A DAY!) but it will happen one day!!

B.

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K.D.

answers from Salt Lake City on

S.,
I know how hard it is to change two sets of diapers - I did it for a year. If your son is really ready to learn, this method worked for my 3-year-old:
This is the same method as the Potty Train in One Day book, but you don't have to buy the book:
http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/264

Good luck!

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C.E.

answers from Kansas City on

S.,
He is too young and not ready yet. You're going to drive yourself crazy if you push him. My son was 3 1/2 before he was potty trained. My daughter was exactly 2 when she was potty trained. Girls are usually out of diapers much sooner tan boys. Every child is completely different. Your son will eventually be potty trained, don't worry. Just ease up on him. He'll get there in his own time :) Good luck!

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T.M.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My son is 2 1/2 and last fall we got him a potty...Well it is true to not force and they will do it when they are comfortable and so on! WE are still working on the potty training, but it is off and on with him as well!!! I can TOTALLY understand! And there are A LOT of people who tell me that 3 is when boys start to train? Personally I think it's the kid! We do all kinds of stuff too! Mainly I just ask him if he needs to use the potty when he wakes up in the morning and before nap and after nap and before tub and after tub...And some times he would say yes and most times no! Well I also found he likes the big potty better so I bought him a seat to put on the big potty and a stool! My son has been doing VERY well this month especially with peeing in the potty, but he is SO not ready for the poo poo in the potty yet! Also I got my son some potty books when we first go the potty last year and he LOVES them still!!! Also another thing we try and do is either let him run around naked and he will come and aske for a diaper, but sometimes he will go on the potty! And we also do underwear as well!!! Let me also throw in that my son was the first initiator for th epotty...He told me when he was ready! I went along with him ,but it was just this summer! Oh and my friends son who is 3 weeks older has NO interest whatsoever to use the potty and she has books, movies and even dolls!!! It's ok to introduce it, but let him tell you when he is ready!!! =) Trust me...I know how frustraitng it can be...I have his daycare who are kind of pushing for him and others his age to be potty trained...UGH!!! I hope some of this helps you out! Good Luck...=) We are still with ya though...=) T.

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F.F.

answers from Las Vegas on

I'm a stay home mom myself and my oldest is 4yrs old. At first I started potty trainning my son when he was 18mos old and I was getting upset and I saw in his face that he was not happy. So I just let it go...for another year and a half I just kept changing his diaper and out of nowhere he just went to the bathroom by himself. I congradulated him and I took him to the store to let him pick his favorite character underwear, that was his reward. Kids observe and that is how they learn. So just let him be and you'll be suprise one day he wont need a diaper. Now I have two other babies a 21mos old and a 10mos old and luckly they both ware the same size but now my 21mos is trying to do the same thing as her brother, she is trying to pee standing up. So sooner or later he'll figure it out. Good Luck

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

I suspect that your 2 yo boy is not developmentally ready to be potty trained. His body is unable to co-operate. Boys are often late to learn. My grandson is just now mostly trained at age 3.

And a thought for you. Potty training is more work for awhile than just changing diapers. Your boy will not be consistent for perhaps weeks and so you will be dealing with cleaning up accidents. YOu'll also need to remind him often, go with him to the bathroom, remain upbeat and courageous. I found that I preferred my grandson in diapers to helping with the potty training when I was babysitting.

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M.B.

answers from Omaha on

Personally, I don't think 2 years old is too young. To be fair, I have not gone through potty training yet, so feel free to take this with a grain of salt. I may be singing a different tune here when I start trying a few months from now! But until recently (last 20 years or so), most kids were potty trained around years old or younger (I was 14 months and my sister was 17 months). I think potty training becomes a bit of a power struggle, and it is not easy to do, so I think many parents wait until their kids are older to do it, because it's easier (still not easy though!). My mom trained us the same way you would potty train a puppy. She fed us a lot of cracker so we would drink a lot (filling the tank, so to speak) and every 15 minutes she had us sit on the potty. If we went, we got 3 M&M's. If we didn't go, no candy. We weren't scolded or anything if we didn't go, just given a little extra treat if we did. She said it was a grueling couple of days and she did literally nothing but take us in the potty, every 15 minutes. No errands, no going out of the house, just us and a potty! She also did not put diapers on us once she started potty training us. By filling the tank, taking us to the potty frequently, and letting us have the opportunity for accidents we quickly learned what it felt like when we had to go, and how to control it. I was trained in 3 days and my sister in 5. Of course, we both had the occasional accident, but my mom said it was pretty rare. She did say however those were the longest days of her life! :-) I think the trick to successful potty training is being very vigilant with it. I think if you try to do it a little here and there it is confusing to the child and doesn't really teach them anything. I think if you are going to do it, you gotta be ready to really commit to doing it. Like I said though, I may be thinking something entirely different when I start to train my son! If there's one thing I've learned to count on being a mom, is that any plans I might have had for how I was going to do things seem to change when I actually have to do them! :-) Good luck and hang in there...eventually he will get it whether it's now or 6 months from now!

M.

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S.T.

answers from Seattle on

My 2 year old loves wearing pull up pants but hasn't figured out that the point is to go in the potty. We try to bribe him with treats but he thinks that he should have a treat even if he just sits on the potty and does nothing. He refuses to put the pull up back on after he sits on the potty even if it isn't wet. We are going through pull ups like crazy and right now I don't have the money to do that. I so feel your pain on this subject. I know boys are more difficult so at least feel relief that your little girl will probably be a breeze.:) If you find any tricks please share!

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C.K.

answers from Eugene on

Everybody has really good advice and I don't really need to add much. My first son was wearing pull-ups at his fourth birthday party (although he graduated to full-time underpants about a week later) and my 3.5 y-o son still goes better at Daddy's house than mine--because my bathroom is upstairs!--so late training with boys is really no big deal.

But there's one thing I did want to add, because it's so weird. When my first son was almost four, he still had no interest in learning to use the toilet. Since this was my first, everything had to be rush rush rush to keep up with averages, and I got frustrated enough to buy a book about it. (I think it was something like "Mommy, I have to use the potty!") I was reading through the book, and in one of the early chapters it said something about how some kids are afraid of going potty because they fear they'll fall in. I thought that was far-fetched in our situation, but I asked him anyway if he was afraid of falling in. He said he was. What?! So we explained to him that it wouldn't happen, etc and went and bought one of those seats you put on the toilet. (He'd never even entertained the potty chair gathering dust in the bathroom.)

He loved it. Suddenly he wasn't afraid anymore and took up using the toilet like it was skateboarding or something. I won't say the miracle happened overnight--that kid is stubborn--but he was finally WILLING and success happened soon after.

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J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I hate to say this because I hear your pain about changing two sets of diapers, but I think 2 is a little young for a boy. Everyone I talk to says boys take longer and aren't really trained until they're closer to 3. I have a 2-1/2 year old, and he's trained during the day at day care (easier because they have a herd mentality) but not at home or at night. I've tried, but he's strong willed and he pushes back because he knows I want him to do it. So I take a very laid back approach, because it just isn't critical for him to do it now. (And I have lots of other battles to pick with him!) You might do better to give it a rest and address it in a month or two. And he might even start doing it on his own. You're right, if you push too hard they will use it against you. At his age, you can probably change him less often, especially if you use Huggies (better for boys than other brands, I have found). And if you use pull-ups, when he does start on his own, it will be easier. Good luck...

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A.B.

answers from Portland on

i am having the same problem but for my son i ask him if he wants to go potty and he runs in the bathroom and goes but not all the time. i guess giving he/she praise for them even trying to make an attempt thats what i do.

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L.S.

answers from Eugene on

Hi S.. My advice is to try to be patient. My son is now 3.5yrs old and just finished potty training. He was 2 when I started and it was very frustrating. He showed all the signs ofg being ready, but just woulnd't do the action. It finally came down to.....my husband taking him with him everytime he went (when he was home), and me letting him be in big boy undies. We only did pull ups during nap time and bedtime for months, then we stopped the naptime pullups and just made sure he sat on the potty before he layed down. He also wouldn't use a potty chair, he wanted the adult toilet. He had many accidents and my laundry load increased greatly, but it finally worked. 1 day, he just decided he was ready. It was stressful, but I really feel that just guiding him and encouraging him and doing my best to not get frustrated when he had accidents really helped.

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A.

answers from Boise on

I agree with the consensus, 2 is too young for boys. You are setting yourself up for stress, and setting your son up for failure :) At about 3, try the cherios in the toilet and letting him go outside in the backyard and pee on a bush. We had trouble potty training our son, and by 3 1/2 we were at our wits end. We FINALLY tried these 2 last resorts, they were the only things that worked! What is it about males and the outdoors??? ahha! good luck!

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A.F.

answers from Boise on

S.,
My pediatrician said that most boys wont potty train until they are 3 y/o or within a few months. That trying to get them to do it prior to that may be meet wiht the frustration and disappointment you are encountering. I I have two boys and they didnt go much sooner than that. But.. when they were ready they were off and running! I did have to change two sets of diapers for about 8 months and it did suck!
I realize this is probably not the advice you were looking for but hopefully it encourages you that others have had a similar experience!

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M.B.

answers from Spokane on

Have you tried having him aim at cheerios in the toilet? I've heard that works because it's like a game and he'll have more fun with it!

Also, I know someone who works in a 2 1/2 - 3 1/2 year old class at a daycare and said that when they do potty training at the school they don't use the training pants because it seems to confuse the child. She's found that with the training pants, they know they can go potty in them so if they don't wear them and the child wets themselves a couple times that they don't like the feeling and get trained faster.

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K.

answers from Anchorage on

I hate to say it, but I think your expectations are too high. Having a potty trained 2 year old is not that common. If you force the issue, it will become a power struggle and will likely take twice as long.

I would just have the potty available for him to explore and ask him often if he'd like to go.... but let the decision be his.

My dd will be 3 next month and she just potty trained during the day in the last month and is still in diapers at night.

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T.W.

answers from Portland on

My little one was interested in the potty from the time he was 18 months, but we didn't have any success until a few weeks ago when we decided to go "naked" at home. If it's warm enough in your house, I'd absolutely recommend this. You'll be able to see the signs that he's ready to go faster, and he'll see what the peeing thing is actually about (also, some kids get really upset about peeing on the floor, which helps to speed the process). I'd snatch him up and carry him into the bathroom when he'd start to go and say: (with the best smile in my voice i could manage while remaining urgent) "pee in the potty! pee in the potty!" After 1 day, he started going on his own, and after about a week, we had very few "accidents" (usually when he's really enjoying playing with something).

i didn't use any stickers or treats, just lots of praise and applause immediately after he went in the potty. i also got papa to make a big deal about it when he came home from work. even grandma gave him praise and attention about it when we saw her on the weekends.

a couple of caveats, though: he was about 2 1/2 when we started, so you might still wait a while. and it does require an eagle eye for the first couple of days--if you have a friend or grandma around who can take the 3 month old for a weekend while you focus in on potty training, that could help jump start things. also, expect him to be trained at home, but still need diapers when you're out--there's a several month lag a lot of the time. lastly, #2 is a whole other thing--my son's been accident-free for a while now with pee, but he freaks out about going #2 in the toilet and still won't choose to do this on his own.

good luck!

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S.S.

answers from Portland on

I had the same problem, but it was only cause of how much stress was around my place, I just let him pee outside in my backyear in the bushes. It is a little bit embrassing to say that, but it really worked after a while he just started going in the bathroom by himself.

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S.G.

answers from Omaha on

I agree that he's not ready. My daughter just turned 3 and we finally in the last few weeks have gotte her trained. If they aren't ready they just will fight you. I understand it's hard to have to pay for the two sets of diapers. I would let him run naked - that's how I did it. Good luck

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S.B.

answers from Eugene on

Hi S., Who knows what the right answers are but when by son was a toddler my doctor told me that boys don't even have the muscle control to be independant until they are a little older and trying to start before this will only frustrate mommy and daddy. She said boys typically can be trained around three and a half, sometimes a little earlier, sometimes even a little later. My son was 3 1/2, and it was very easy. She said parents that feel they have suceeded before this may be just putting their child on the toilet on such a regular basis that it appears that they are trained because they don't have the opportunity to have accidents. She said to watch for they warning signs like interest and waking up a few times dry. She also suggested not using the pull-ups because that may just cause confusion. I took her avise, waited until I saw the signs, and within a couple of days my son was trained both day and night. I don't remember any accidents during the day after that, and probably around 6 or 7 times after that did he have night time accidents. He's 8 now, so we've moved on to many new challenges since then. Good luck, and great name!
Sincerely, S. B

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E.B.

answers from Omaha on

Hi. My boys are 22 months apart (they are now 37 months and 15 months) and I may have gone through a similar thing with the potty training. I'd have him sit there forever with glasses of lemonade (which is a big treat) and nothing would happen. Bribes, treats, stickers ... nothing worked. He had a somewhat advanced verbal ability, so we had the advantage of being able to communicate well. What ended up working (at 29 months) was putting him in tight stretchy pants with underwear. He inevitably wet himself and reacted in surprise. I reacted quickly and said, "YES! That is what you are supposed to do on the potty" and would rush him off to the potty to make sure he knew what I meant. It worked so well for us, he was potty trained the next day. It took a few more weeks with the BM and only a few more weeks after that to be overnight trained, as well, which I know is unusual. But this method worked really well for us. Good Luck!

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