Potty Training Backslide - Automatic Flushing Toilet Incident

Updated on February 17, 2009
R.L. asks from Santa Monica, CA
18 answers

I knew it was too easy to be true! Two weeks ago my 2 1/2 year old daughter announced she was ready for "no more diapers, I want big kid underwear and potty now"...so she started wearing underwear during the day and pull-ups at night and naps and using the potty or a ring on the toilet (she didn't seem to have a preference). For 2 weeks she was telling everyone who would listen that she was wearing big kid underwear, and she was so proud to go potty like a 'big kid'...then 2 days ago, we had the 'automatic flushing toilet incident'. She was using a potty ring on a big toilet at a public bathroom and the automatic toilet flushed while she was sitting on it. Understandably, she freaked! I showed her how it worked, and explained how our toilet at home was different, and for a day or so, she seemed ok going at home or on a little potty, but now (2 days later) she is refusing to go potty at all and tonight she said she wants to wear diapers again. Do I go buy diapers or keep her in underwear and see what happens? Any insight or suggestions would be greatly appreciated! (I should add that she is not having accidents, she is just holding everything in until we convince her to sit on the potty, at which point she will go, but she is crying and saying "no want to go potty" as she goes.)

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So What Happened?

Post-It notes! I LOVE it! I only wish I had thought of covering the sensor before the 'incident'. I will definitely keep a packet of them in our bag from now on (so many uses for such a simple invention!). We didn't buy diapers, and she is using the potty ring on the toilet at home, but she still isn't going on other toilet and has been requesting to wear pull-ups when she knows that we are going to be out for a while. I've been bringing a little portable potty chair (Potette - which I highly recommend, especially if you have a petite child) with me when we go out and she will go on that, but reluctantly. She still isn't having accidents (and her pull-ups are almost always dry), and I'm sure the fear of flushing will pass one day. She was just so proud of herself for the 2 weeks before that I'm just a bit sad that she is so upset about going potty now. Thank you to everyone for your reassuring words and advice.

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K.A.

answers from San Diego on

I keep a pack of post it notes in my bag to put over sensors on the wall and put some toilet paper over the ones that are on a bar. This keep those things from flushing every 2 seconds. I don't take the block off until we're totally ready to leave the stall and it's the last thing I do before unlocking the door. What I would suggest is to use the toilet before her with the blocked sensor to show her it will no longer flush, maybe find a quiet bathroom when she doesn't need to go really bad and show her how it doesn't flush any more. It wasn't long before my son was OK with it finally.

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R.G.

answers from Honolulu on

Aloha! I was in the exact same situation with my daughter. If she peeked in the stall and saw that it was an automatic flush, she wouldn't even go into the stall. I covered the light with a piece of toilet paper, but I called it "special paper" and explained that it "stops the potty from flushing and it will NOT flush until I take the special paper away". I would also make a really big deal out of removing the paper. I would say, loudly, "Okay, toilet, you can flush now" and then throw it into the potty. It seemed to put some control back into her/us. It took two explanations/demonstrations and then she was sitting on those toilets again. We didn't need to go back to diapers. Eventually, she even told me that she didn't need the "special paper" anymore, but that was MUCH later. Hope this helps.

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A.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

definately do NOT buy diapers. This will pass. work with her through it acknowledging her fear and be patient and understanding. Next time you see one of those toliets just put something over it until she is done- even your hand. My daughter doesn't like those either.

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A.G.

answers from Las Vegas on

Ah the stupid automatic flushers! My 5 year old is STILL scared of them! Actually she does not like any public toilet because she thinks they all will flush while she is sitting on it. I second the post-it note or toilet paper over the sensor idea. It will prevent it from flushing at random times.

I would keep her in underwear and see what happens, but if she starts having constant accidents I might consider a pullup or even thicker training underwear so it doesn't make too much of a mess.

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S.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

I am a therapist that works with children and I see this all the time. The automatic toilets always cause freakouts and setbacks in potty training. You are not alone :) I would recommend that you teach her how small the hole is (you can demonstrate it my telling her it is a little bigger than the bath tub drain and that she wouldn't fit down that right?) and then don't push it. Tell her that she does not have to use the auto ones but if she wanted to be brave you would hold her on their even though you don't need to because she would not fall in or fit. The last part is important because I would not want her to think that you are holding her on their because she is right, that the toilets are dangerous. Hope it helps.

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J.V.

answers from Santa Barbara on

Hi R.. I wouldn't put her back in diapers. I would just tell her that I knew that it was scary when the toilet automatically flushed and went "whoosh". Tell her that even grown-ups can get surprised about it- but big people use the toilet all the time Go back to singing songs or reading to her- something special when she is sitting on the potty so that it's fun again. Make a big deal about how brave she is and big, etc. . Maybe other people think you should diaper her again, but I wouldn't.

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K.D.

answers from San Diego on

I am a preschool teacher of a toddler class (2-3 year olds) and very young children tend to get little phobias about various things. My advice is to allow her to wear the diapers. She is still potty trained (no accidents)but i wouldnt force her to tears to use the toilet, that could make her regress. you may want to ask her if she has to go and if she says NO, then let her know that if she need to go to the potty you will go with her so she doesnt have to wet the diaper. most children have an incident with the potty for ex..falling in or just being afraid of the flushing sound. You are lucky your daughter will go on the ring or the chair and she sounds pretty flexible to me because in my classroom of 14 todds we have lots of rituals for using the toilet...lol... all clothes off, 1 shoe and 1 leg out, stay with me, dont watch. I can pretty much assure you that it wont be long before your daughter doesnt want the diaper considering the fact she was the one who didnt want it in the first place.

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H.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

You could try a little potty chair until she is a little older and you can really explain it too her. I would do this before going back to diapers.

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C.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

Not sure what to do about the backslide. Maybe try a little potty that doesn't flush? Maybe put it away from the big potty (in the hall?) so she keeps good habits but isn't afraid of the flush.

However, I did have a comment about the automatic flushing toilets. I read in an article to carry post it notes in your purse so that you could cover the sensor in toilets like that so that it wouldnt flush unexpectedly.

Good luck. We are starting potty training also. My friend gave me some good advice when I started to stress... in a year or two they will be potty trained completely and all this will not matter. Again good luck.

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L.V.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'm sorry I don't have much good advice for getting your daughter used to going potty again except for time and practice. But, put some post-its in your purse. The next time you go to an automatic toilet, cover the sensor with a post-it so it doesn't flush too soon.

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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

carry some post it notes in your purse so when you encounter an auto flushing toilet you can use it to cover the sensor so it wont automatically flus until you reamove the post it.

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J.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

My first little girl was terrified of the automatic flusher, I would have to put my hand on it the whole time just to make her feel ok and it wouldn't flush til she was away from it!! Only when she turned 4 was she ok with that kind of flusher just reassure her you won't let it flush until she is ready.

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K.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

I would let her wear her diapers again until she forgets about the incident...If she did it by herself once she will do it again...don't worry!I suggest not to give it too much attention and she''l be trough it when you least expect it.
good luck!

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C.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

I would let her go back to diapers, but still ask her if she needs to go. Put some post-its in your purse and put one over the sensor when you are in public.

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D.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

R., I have been through this same experience. My daughter was about 3 and we were at Disneyland when she had the potty flush on her. She would then not go potty at Disneyland any more. For the rest of our trip she wanted diapers. She is now 8 and still does not like automatic ones and I must go in with her and cover the "red light". My daughter went back to diapers for about a week. Hopefully your daughter will find that not all toliets are automatic like mine did and go back to panties.

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A.C.

answers from San Diego on

I agree about not buying diapers again. It may take a little while ( a few days ) but she will over come it. Post it are good but when i don't have any i grab toilet paper wrap up the sensor a few times and when the kids are done they pull off the toilet paper to flush the toilet .. though there are the wall mounted sensors where i have to stay in the stall or have them duck down the whole time .. Kids are tough they get scared and if you have then get through it they will be stronger in the end and take on the next thing that scares them with more confidence

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T.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

OH Man !!!! so sorry but I had to giggle at this one, wouldnt you know it !! she will get over it and go back to the big girl pants, if she hasnt gone potty in her pants keep with it, she might hate the fact she has wet her underware.. keep trying

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C.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

You are a step forward and she initiated it...

don't go buy diapers as you'll just take her backwards... just tell her that they don't sell the diapers anymore and you can't buy any... trick her into thinking there won't be any more diapers...

then she'll slowly go back to wanting to try...

good luck

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