Hi,
I have been with my husband for 6 years and I have watched his two sons, now my stepsons grow up. Well, with-in this time the oldest now 13 when ever he has a test or something that he feels he is not going to accomplish well he gets so nervous to the point of making himself get sick. For instance yesterday he was soppose to do a mile run and before that period he started getting sick (vomitting)(dry heaves) and I had to get him from school. The nurse thought he was really sick and so did I until I started asking questions. The moment that we left the school he did not throw up not once! I've tried to talk to him give him moral support his dad tried the same and when the talks are done it seems like we got through but then it happens all over again. Has anyone dealt with something like this and if so what could I do different to help him out. Please help Ilove them so much and I hate to see him go through this. (children live with us)
THANK YOU ALL for your advice!! I will find out if there is a counselor that we can talk to at his school. Today he had gym again and I didn't get a phone call, his PE teacher knew before I had even explained the situation to him. It never crossed my mind (anxiety) would be the bottom line. I am going to talk to a doctor to find out if any damage has been done or what future damage can happen if this continues. Once again THANK YOU!!!!
I'd suggest some therapy to help him learn skills to manage anxiety. Sounds like....from your brief description...that might be what is going on.
I am a high school teacher and my sister is a middle school social worker and both of our experience says to contact the school's social worker to see if he or she can help to give your stepson some skills for dealing with this sort of anxiety. It is totally normal, but some kids just need a hand to learn to cope. I don't think it's anything to worry about, but contacting a social worker is the easiest and most likely best step towards addressing it and helping your stepson get past this tricky part of growing up. Good luck to all of you!
I have to say that little boy is VERY lucky though! I only wish my children had half the stepmom YOU are! I agree though; talk with a school counselor or someone like that to help him. Poor guy!! He is very fortunate to have you. I am sure he'll get through it with parents like you guys though! Good luck and God bless!
H., mom to four wonderful children.
Hi Dolores. i work at a middle school with children that are your stepson's age. This situation is actually pretty common, but can vary in degree depending on the child. Does his school have a counselor? If so, let them know of the situation and they can talk to your son and help him ork through this problem. Also, has been happening for awhile or did it just recently start. If it is recent, there may be triggers that are casuing it to be worse (likes a girl, nervous to be in middle school, just feeling more anxious, etc.) If you want to talk more please just send a private message back. Hope this helps, L.
Hi D. -
I went through the same thing when I was in school, especially my younger years. I don't know if the situation is the same for your step-son, but the reason I got so stressed out was because my parents had VERY high expectations for me. Though I ended up living up to most of them, but as a young child I had a hard time of coping with the stress of living up to my parents' image of me. I didn't want to let them down by performing poorly but I didn't always feel up to the task. It helped a lot once my parents explained to me that they would always love me even if I flunked a test or messed up during a recital. They stopped posting report cards on the fridge so I didn't have the pressure of getting one good enough to deserve to be there. Once the stress of performing well was removed I actually did better.
Again, I don't know if this applies to your situation but I hope it helps.
JM
Wow, poor guy. That seems like a pretty severe physical reaction. I am also a middle school teacher (over 10 years!) and I have never seen a reaction like that in a student. While a counselor at school may be helpful, you may want to talk to you stepson's doctor. Like I said, I am a teacher not a doctor, but as the pressures of school become greater as he gets older I would be concerned that this could become an even more serious condition.
So many children have school avoidance issues - a positive is that he is still willing to go and stay at school until there is something that triggers his anxiety. Many just avoid school altogether. Just keep supporting him and let him know that you will help him through whatever is going on.
Good luck. I know that this can be difficult for everyone. Try not to get frustrated with him.
Jessica
