My (Almost) 3 Yr. Old Will Sit on Potty Only When She Sees Her Cousin Do It!

Your daughter is plenty old enough to use the potty. Buy her the thick training panties and some pretty panties. Put the training ones on in the daytime. Sit her on potty first thing in AM and then every hour or so at first. When she keeps the training pants dry all day, let her wear the pretty ones.

If she is dry in the AM then you know she can go all night without a diaper.
Try not to compare to her cousin. Boys take longer to train and many wet the bed for a while.

Hi! I have 3 children, 10, 7 & 5. My oldest is a girl who was potty trained at 27 mths., but my boys were not trained until 3 or so. My youngest STILL wets the bed at night-I'm working on it, but after 3 I don't have as much energy!! I've learned when your child is ready, it will happen-I had a lot of time with my daughter and she was much more motivated than my sons-they could care less!! My first two stayed dry at night within a month or so after being trained, but my youngest hasn't mastered that skill yet. We have tried underwear at night, limiting evening drinks & I have taken him to the potty when I go to bed & still I haven't had luck...I figure it he won't be graduating high school in overnights!! Have you read potty training books together or played DVD's or videos about potty training? My kids loved these...I don't know how much they helped, but I figure at least it gets them interested. When I trained my daughter it was during the winter and I would let her run around the house with only underwear, plus we weren't as active outside so I thought it was a bit easier. I didn't use pull-ups for her, only the quilted underwear. I have tried pull-ups for my boys, but they just cut down on laundry! If you don't have any girly underwear, you could have your daughter pick out some and wear them around the house or use them as an incentive to use the potty. I've learned every child is different and they'll go when they are ready...Good luck!! Debbie

you may want to start letting her come into the bathroom with you when you go and you can tell her what your doing. also tell her that big girls don't go potty in their diaper but on the potty, that will get her curious enough that she will try to go on the potty. so far its working with my almost 2 year old.

As you'll find, there is no "right" thing. You will find, or accidently stumble on, what works for you and your daughter. Every child is different. We tried for over a year with training our son. Lots of stops and starts. He would sit on the potty for a long while, and yet hold it for so long that he was leaking pee. Then, at about 3 1/2, I simply told him that I wasn't buying any more diapers. For 4 days, every time I changed him, I reminded him. Then, he started sitting on the potty and peeing only took 3 days of accidents. Pooping took longer, but he did very well. But, with my daughter, she started showing lots of interest around 17 months, she did great. She would sit and pee. She has been regressing a little lately, but at almost 21 months, I'm not pushing it.
As for working and training, talk to your daycare provider. The 2 of you should be on the same page as to how will work best. I was home then and now, but I do daycare. The best thing is consistency between home and daycare.
As for night-time, again, every child is different. My son didn't stop wetting the diaper until just about 8 months ago (just after his 5th b-day). We used pull-ups only at night. When he started waking up dry, I started keeping track and found it was every night.
Good luck, time and paitence.

My son didn't potty train until 3 and half and was showing signs. I wouldn't push her into going because if she doesn't want to or isn't ready she simply won't do it and it will cause great frusteration on your part. As for nights, some kids pick it up right away and wake up, go pee and go back to bed. Others don't so much. My son wets the bed every night (yes at 5 years old) and just today he did it during nap time, which he only does when he has things on his mind :(
Best of luck to you!

Hi H.:

I am going to use a few things from Rosemond's book on Making Terrible Twos Terrific. I hope this helps - it all sounds on target to me in the book but Nolan (29 mos.) shows no real interest in the potty and same as yours - doesn't seem to know ahead of time he needs to go, doesn't feel it yet.

If you have started trying with no results, he prescribes a cooling off period for you and toddler on potty issue - you decide how long i.e. 2 weeks. Tell her directly you are going to stop trying to make her use the potty - but leave it out where it was - or whatever tools you were using. Each morning ask if she wants diaper or training pants - abide by the decision and leave the discussion at that - NOTHING more! After this - wait for signs that she wants to go back to learning the potty but be only a consultant - not a parent. Not too much praise - learning the skill is praise enough. Do not scold or make much ado about mess-ups - they will happen.

Another tact is to introduce a "potty bell" (kitchen timer). Set it for 5 minutes or so after waking up and naps. When it rings she should sit on the potty. Do not prod - tell her to call you if she needs help. Tell her matter-of-factly that she knows what to do and where the potty is. Then keep setting the bell for every hour or so. This way - it's not you telling her to go but the bell. Again -be only support or consultant - no direction etc. unless asked for. If she is looking for praise give it but don't go overboard. She'll let you know when she wants involvement. Treat accidents lightly with words of encouragement and understanding.

Also he says to let them see you using the potty, sit on your lap if needed and be the role model. When traveling you can try saying "we're all going to stop and go potty now". I would still continue with her seeing her cousin use the potty and his success at the new skill.

Good luck - I hope this helps.

Warmly,
K.

hi, H., someone wrote a book, the essence of which is to have your child "teach" a doll about how to go potty. You set aside a day you can devote to the project, keep your child in as few clothes as possible, give her lots to drink, and spend several sessions a day "teaching" the dolly to go. It's supposed to work in a day or 2. The overnight thing will come when it comes. Don't worry-- that's why they make pull-ups.

H.,

We had a heck of a time potty-training our son. Everyone kept telling us that when he was ready he would do it. We tried and tried for over a year to put him on the potty, encourage him, sticker charts, treats, etc, got VERY frustrated. Then, shortly after his 3rd birthday, he decided he was ready and was consistently going pee in the potty within about a week or so. He didn't decide he would poop until a couple months later, but again, as soon as he decided he was ready he just did it. As frustrating as it is, you have to wait for her to decide she's ready. My daughter is now 2 1/2 and we have been more relaxed with her about potty training. We started putting her on the potty at key times, like when she woke up in the morning, after nap, etc. We would read books with her or let her sit on her little potty and have a snack. She decided a couple weeks ago that she was ready and has been doing pretty well ever since. She still has some wet pull-ups throughout the day so I don't have her in undies, but she's doing well. As hard as it is, be patient. Keep offering and celebrate every little dribble or attempt. See if she responds to stickers or treats - I was so against that with my son, but it got him excited about the potty, so I ended up caving.

Another thought is, you said you work part-time. Does that mean your daughter is at a sitter part-time? If so, you could ask the sitter for help. I know people whose sitters have been in the business for so long that they have potty training down to a science, or at least are very helpful. Our sitter completely takes cues from the parents. She wouldn't let us stop giving her pull-ups until my son was very consistent, at least to protect during nap (she would put them over his undies), but she does support us by putting the kids on the potty to try, encouraging them, and giving treats.

Last thought. Be careful when your nephew starts wanting to pee standing up. Your daughter may want to try as well. That was an early hurdle for us because my daughter couldn't understand why she wasn't allowed to pee standing up since her big brother does. She would sometimes sit on the potty backwards just so she felt like she was being like her brother.

Hope this is helpful! Congrats and good luck with baby #2!

I have three children and numerous neices and nephews and I have found that all children train in different ways and at different rates and paces and about all I can tell you (and probably you get when you read between the lines of any advice) is to just keep it up, keep doing anything you can, and soon she will get that "AHA!" moment where she will realize that "This is what going potty means" and that this is much better than wearing those smelly diapers!
You say she only goes when she sees her cousin going? Does her cousin wear underpants yet? If he does, ask your sister (in law?) if her cousin has some "really cool" underpants on, and you show her the female counterpart (little panties with her favorite "hero" on them) and that one can't wear said panties if they have pee and poop in them, MIGHT help. Even small children can be influenced by peer pressure.
You can also check out various potty training books and systems, like Capt. Underpants or something.
You never know what's going to finally work.
Good luck!
L. (been there, done that, bought the tee shirt!)