My 4 yr old just refuses to let me know she needs to go potty. She really seems to have no desire to be potty trained. She seems more than content to go in her diaper. Granted she HATES wearing her diaper and is CONSTANTLY taking it off. A little note about my little girl....she has a speech delay and only can say a few things. I think that may be why she doesn't tell us she wants to go but we sign with her. She doesn't want to sign that she wants to go. Funny enough sometimes she goes to the toilet stands next to it and says "DONE!". At that point I go to her and she has just either peed or pooped in her diaper, lol. She is character. Anything that has worked with you guys?
Thank you for all your responses. I am trying the non diaper approach with big girl panties and have been for a bit and sometimes she responds and sometimes she doesn't. I know that at 4 she shouldn't be wearing diapers, BUT all children are different and progress at different speeds. Thank you for all your help!
Try getting her a doll baby with lacy panties and have her train the doll to go on a training potty. There used to be a doll that drinks water from a bottle and then wets her diapers. Also, have you consulted with a developmental pediatrician? Her delayed language may be part of other developmental delays, and the pediatrician may offer some other strategies.
First of all, I'd stop giving her diapers to wear. At 4 years old, she should not be in diapers. Now, my 4 year old was wearing pull ups only at night because she was having a hard time with keeping dry at night but during the day, she was in real little girl underpants. My 22 year old son knows when he has to go potty and he doesn't talk much either but he knows enough to let me know that he either has to go or already went in his diaper.
What I would do at this point is put her on the toilet every hour during the day. Put a pull up on her only at night but remove it in the morning and put on little girl underpants as soon as she wakes up. Give her a sticker for every time she pees and/or poops in the toilet. If you know she has to poop but you know she is refusing, then make her sit on the toilet until she goes. If she sits there an hour or more, then so be it. She needs to master this. She is 4 years old. Do this tough love now before she has to start school. She will learn this but she needs you to be her cheerleader, her reward system, and the one who enforces what needs to be done. Good luck.
Don't put a diaper on her! That is her comfort zone. Get her used to panties. If you are consistent than it'll get done. Four years old is already way to old for diapers. You may have extra laundry, but it will be worth it. If you want to encourage it tell her that if she goes 1 week going pee pee and poo in the potty than you'll have a potty party and invite her friends...something fun like Chuckie Cheese or something.
As long as a child has a diaper or pull-up on them than they will go in it. Try not to ask her...say "it's potty time" and take her every 2 hours. If she asks for a diaper tell her that there is no more and show her that there is no more.
Good Luck
Hi,
You may want to check out a website called SoilingSolutions.com. It has a lot of information regarding the problem your daughter is having. Hope you find this information helpful.
when you know you'll be home for a few hours, tell her "It's big girl panty time!!!" Then go with her to her underwear & have her pick a pair (give her a choice of 2 to choose from if she doesn't seem to be 'going for it').
Then have her wear the underwear and have her go sit on the toilet like every 20 minutes. When she pees or poops in the toiler, MAKE A HUGE BIG DEAL about it!! Give her a sticker or, even have a chart on the wall where she puts her sticker to share with the WORLD! Every time you have someone over (when someone comes over or comes home like Daddy or grandma, etc) go show them the chart & the stickers & MAKE A BIG DEAL about it!
If she goes in her panties, DON'T make a big deal. Be very NEUTRAL. Clean her up (have her help!) and put on another pair of panties. She'll get it...(I would still do pull-ups at night but no diapers when at home...)
Hi, B.. Years ago when my son was at the potty training age, I read a book called "Potty Training in Less Than a Day," although I may be getting some of the words in the title wrong. It is a wonderfully gentle approach which uses a drink-and-wet doll to model potty training for the child. In other words, you make the doll wet its diapers, then you make the doll "pee" in the potty, and then the child has a better idea of what you want her to accomplish. My son was in daycare at that time, as I worked about 10 hours a day, so they actually did the job for me, so I missed out on that stage of my son's life. However, at the time that book was popular, it got a lot of praise for its effectiveness. That's why I recommend it. The book gives you a way to reward the good potty behavior while not having to punish the accidents or the not understanding.
Also, keep in mind that even though the whole potty in the diapers business is unpleasant for you and your daughter, she knows very well that if she starts doing this thing by herself, she's going to lose some of your attention and time. She may not be ready to give up on that. You might try to find a way to give her attention in some other way to make up for what she feels she's going to lose by moving forward to the next stage in her young life.
I've been having issues with my 3.5 year old. He wants to wear the big boy underwear but doesn't want the responsibility to go with it. But what has worked for us is about every hour to hour and a have I tell him it is time to go potty and he at least sits there. He may not go every time, but at least he knows there is a set time that it is expected that he at least try.
Hope it helps!
how about if you just don't put her any diapers and prepare for a few days of a lot of miss haps. Talk to her about her beign a big girl now and that is something that big girls do. My almost 2 yrs and 10 months was going in the same path and that is what I did and it worked. No diapers no pull ups. Also once diaper are off you have to ask every 20 min if she wants too do so and that worked for me.
I took a workshop in Boston, they advocate to get a Carrolle doll, the one that pees, and have the doll's potty right next to your daughter's. Treat the doll as a baby sister. Talk to the doll and ask her if she needs to go pee, and then take her to the potty, just act as if she is a regular part of the family. Give the doll praise "you sat on potty chair", you walked to the potty, you made pee. We don't say "good job" or "nice job", we just describe the behavior they do.
Eventually your daughter will be so interested in what you and the doll are doing, she will want to join in. There should be no pressure, stress, as we don't pee/poop when we are feeling stressed. Your daughter will be able to see what you expect from her from watching the doll do it. Sometimes as parents, we indirectly stress out our kids, or make them feel not good enough because they are not meeting our expectations. Just have a fun time with her, take her out to a special place, no pressures or talking about the potty, bring the doll and the potty to the park or whereever you go. WIshing you well,
M. Maniaci www.nurturingmoves.com
Get the book "Toilet Training in Less than a Day," by Azrin and Foxx. It teaches them what to do and what not to do.
Good Luck,
S.
If you are a stay at home mom this is my suggestion. Take the diapers off and reward!!!!! Take her to the store and let her pick out her own big girl panties. You will be doing lots of laundry but take the diapers off and put the big girl panties on when you are home. Take her to the bathroom every 30 minutes and have her sit on the potty. We read to my son on the potty. Some times he went and others he did not we only sat there max 10 minutes. When she does go pee-pee on the potty give her a small reward (we used m&m's) each time she does. When she does not still reward with praise, I am very proud of you for sitting on the potty. You are such a big girl. Remember when you feel that you have to go you come to the toilet and sit down. Diapers when out for a week or two. Pull ups at night for a little time.
If you are a working mom and she goes to some one during the day talk with them and let them know that you need help, suggestions and support from them.
Hope this helps. Let me know the progress.
