help-I Don't Know How to Tell My Husband

Aww i'm sorry, This happened to me recently, minus the vasectomy part (my husbands been putting it off), I just walked straight from taking the test to my husband and said "we have a problem" Exactly 5 weeks ago now and I'm still adjusting to the idea of 5 instead of 4 kids ! My husband got over it a LOT quicker than I did. Just do it, the longer you put it off the harder it will be. And you know what? You're gonna love that baby when it comes (I keep telling myself the same thing!!) And yes, it is meant to be - especially if it happened right before a scheduled vasectomy.

Hi A.,

You are not wrong to feel this way. I would totally feel the same. It will be okay. It really really will. Try to tell him without getting defensive about the way he will probably feel. Let him know that you are hurting too. It is a blessing, But it also is a loss. Only in the sense that you lost a plan. The gain that comes with a beloved child will soon carry away any residual regret of having an unanticipated pregnancy. I would maybe take him out and explain that you have something difficult to talk about.
Good luck and I hope you feel well. Congratulations. Pregnancy is a beautiful state of being.
Marianne

Congrats first of all. Remember this baby is a gift from GOD and he wouldn't haven't given you this child if he though you couldn't handle it.
I would make a card for your husband and write something silly like "opps I guess it didn't work"... then inside write "I'm pregnant again". Just a thought.
My husband also had a vasectomy and I was terrified I would get pregnant again. I was on the depo shot and had just got one when he got his done and I was really worried we used condoms for a year. The first time we did it without protection I freaked out and won't do it again. I was a wreck. But two years later I enjoying my sex life without any problems.
My third pregnany was a totally surprize for me too and I was happier though. My baby at the time was only six months old when I found out.... Yes close in age. The baby was early and the girls are 13 months apart. I really enjoy my children and you will too.
Let it sink in.
You and your husband can work out the other stuff later. Enjoy now. BTW My husband and I go on Vacation every year by ourselves. Try to work one in before the baby comes.
Good Luck and Again Congrats on the baby...

A.,
Have you seen the movie Knocked Up? There is a line in the movie where the father responds to his son's news of getting a girl pregnant. The son is distressed because this was not "what he had planned". The father responds,"Plans? Life doesn't care about plans. You accept what life gives you,and go with the flow".
Neither of my pregancies were planned. I consider them "blessings" rather than "accidents". But that was after the fact...like you, I was initially freaked out.
I say go with the flow. Maybe God wants you to have this baby for a reason. There are no accidents in life. Not in the grand scheme of things.
Congratulations. You may not believe it much now, but you are very lucky and very blessed. :)

Congratulations- wow I think God really had a plan for you that was alittle different from the one you had. I think you were meant to have three children and the last one was snuck in there at the very last oppotunity! I hope you can laugh at this all one day. It was just meant to be. I'm sure you both will be filled with joy once you recover from the shock. I would just sit him down tonight and tell him the good news. Putting it off will just make it harder. Now you can go ahead with a new set of plans that include a third and final little blessing.

My husband was in the process of scheduling his big v when we found out a 4th was coming our way. I will be honest--I was upset, worried, esp. because we switched to independent ins. that does not include maternity! Well his response was ECSTASTIC just like he was with the others; told everyone we saw right away and called it a blessing.

My point is I was the one bothered--he had the faith it was meant to be and everything would be OK. He was right!
Like you, I had big financial plans but adding a new child to the mix is priceless--you will be able to get the new home and go on the big vacations--and it will be even better with number 3!
We now have a baby brother for our son and two daughters.
I am betting when you tell him, he will be overjoyed! I'd just tell him ASAP so you can stop worrying.

L.

first of all, you need to tell him now. When he asks you, when you found out, and you tell him days ago, he is going to be upset and hurt that you didn't tell him. I was in the position once. Although, mine was a little different. me and my husband,(not at the time) already had my child, and his 3 children. It took me some time to tell him, and he was upset with me, but for not telling him. for some reason, God had his hand in this one. I understand about the plans, and selling the house, but honestly, you can still do all those things. It is perfectly normal to feel the way that you are, but you need to look at it this way also, God has given you one more child, and ya'll need to rejoice in that. I'm sure your children will be excited. I know that ya'll both will eventually happy about this. But please tell him now. Let me know how things turned out.

Congratulations!!! Just blurt it out and tell him. I was in a similar situation almost 9 months ago (I'm 6 1/2 weeks away from delivering). My husband had said that he felt our family was complete, but I still wanted one more so we had agreed that we wouldn't do anything drastic (like a V) until our 10 month old was 2 and then we would talk about it again. Well God had a different plan!!! I was late (and am never late) and worried for 2 days how I was going to tell him I was late. I worried that he would think I had purposely gotten pregnant. Well I finally just blurted it out that I thought I could be pregnant. That same afternoon I took the test and when I called him to let him know that indeed I was he laughed hysterically. He was immediately just as excited as he had been about our others. I was the one who had a harder time getting used to the idea of another so soon. Anyways this pregnancy has been my easiest and most enjoyable so far and I have known tons of people who have said the same thing about their surprise babies. Give yourself some time and allow yourself a week or two to mope around if you want to.

Hey! God works in mysterious ways. This little addition could turn out to be your greatest blessing. I'd be in shock, too, however- time will adjust that, and it MAY not be the financial burden you're thinking. Just budget wisely (www.daveramsey.com). I'm sure people you've told you were done will be overjoyed- incl. your hubby, & probably even have their own "surprize" stories to tell.

Hang in there. There's nothing to do now, but move to acceptance. Have a nice date night out together & tell him over dinner.

Keep us up to date!

D.

A.,

First off...Congratualtions! I TOTALLY know how you feel! Pretty much the same thing happended to me last Sunday! I have one, only wanted one, and now pregnant w/#2.....I just told a group of friends down from Oklahoma that I didn't ever want anymore children...I jinxed myself...lol...I was in shock for a few days, but with the help of my sweet husband, and many mommy's on here I am coming to terms w/it! It's normal for you to be feeling the way you are. I am sure you are quite shocked, and had many plans, but this new blessing will just have to be part of a NEW plan! Your husband, I'm sure will understand...seeing as how he was there also..lol...Just take it one day at a time! I was so upset until about Wednesday of this week when I had to come to reality....good luck! Hope you have a healthy pregnancy!

We were not ready for the third though we'd wanted more, it was just so soon.... and I wasn't happy at first. The feelings are normal. They negative feelings aren't about the baby, which will be a joy and you both will love just as much as the others, you're just mourning the change of plans.

If you're husband is like many I know, his mood will take its cue from your mood. So be positive. Think of the positive aspects, like you will have a nice close knit family, mabye even a son. And now that he's had his vasectomy this will really be it so you can now plan with more certainty.

Your family and friends just need to know that you changed your mind.... don't explain. If it had been me, I would never have told them anything... but then I had a history of lost pregnancies, and learned that for me it was better to keep everyone in the dark about what was going on or not going on with my womb for my sanity. People butt in too much where they don't need to be, well-meaning or not.

So just blurt it out to your hubby after you've given yourself a pep talk and you will feel so much better knowing you can both move ahead.

A.,

My dad had a vasectomy, and 12 yrs later, I was born. (I'm the spitting image of my father, so.... no one can say it was an infidelity or anything). It was back in the old days, when their vasectomies weren't 100% dependable. But my point is.... God just plain does what He wants to do, and He must have big plans for this new little wonder that's on its way.
My husband & I also have 2 kids, and he just recently had a vasectomy after we thought long & came to that agreement together. The night he got it, I was up at 1:00 in the morning having an anxiety cry & grieving over baby #3 that will never be. Then, I realized that if God wants us to have one more (like He did w/my parents),... then He'll make it happen anyway. You guys just relax into it, and know that God wants this child here for a good reason. Maybe you're raising a future president. Or a doctor/scientist that will come up with a cure for all cancer. Oh, just please enjoy this child. For all those people who can't have any kids. Enjoy your pregnancy, enjoy your family. I'm so excited for you!

I figured out I was pregnant with #4 when #3 was just 4 months old. Sure you have the right to have mixed emotions and feelings. You have to decide what your beliefs and options are. You have 3 choices..keep it, abort it, or give it up...and then when you say that out loud, you realize here it is-it is yours and you will love it just like the other two. I never believed anyone when they told me having 4 wouldn't be any different than having 3. Guess what?? They were right. The same goes for having 3 vs 2.

You have one- life is busy, everything is new, and you are learning as a parent. Then #2 comes and it is a huge shock because you have two people depending on you for everything, but with #3 you have figured out all the tricks and you realize it is ok and everything is going to be ok.

Consider this your little miracle baby-had it not been conceived in that instant hubby would have been fixed, so obviously this baby is meant to be.

Vacations and new homes are all nice, but that one kiddo isn't going to change things that much and these things always seem to work themselves out. I know once #4 got here I was embarrassed by my emotions and feelings at first because I can't imagine life without her. I am sure that is normal, but we all have those emotional trips to go through.

I would start thinking blue ;P and just tell him. He will have the same emotions you have and then he will have to think about the options and then you just decide'what a happy suprise' and move on...

Good luck!

Well I am very excited for you A.. I agree with the other responses on here. Baby #3 was meant to be. Sort through your feelings and then tell your husband. At least you already know he won't be mad. That's one worry out of your way. When I told my husband we were having #2 he left the house for about an hour and then came back and he seemed to be fine with it. Now when our 19 month old is having her tantrums I have to remind him that #2 is coming. He rolls his eyes and then we both just sort of say "oh my goodness" and then laugh. So in time you and your husband will come to grips with this baby as well. And don't worry that you aren't excited about this yet. With time you will be too. When I am doubting #2 (due in December) I just think of the days when my daughter was a tiny baby and it makes me so happy. Even though newborns aren't always easy they do bring a lot of joy as well. So think happy thought's about when your two were babies and maybe that will help.

Hang in there though because this is a blessing.
CONGRATS to you!!!!!

Hey I'm answering after your response on what happened that now your husband knows. Congrats. Let us all know when you find out if your having a boy or girl!!!!!!!!!!! Just curious since you have 2 girls maybe God had plans for a boy. Three girls would be fun too.

Consider the pregnancy a blessing from God. Who can be upset about that? Plus, your children are close in age, unlike mine who are 10 years apart.

You will have to explain to him sooner or later. I always believed sooner is better. Anyway, he is eventually going to notice the increase in size of your waste. Discuss keeping the baby. If you decide you just cannot fit it into your family for whatever the reason, your baby can be put up for adoption. Some couple who can't have kids would be happy if you did. There is no special way of telling. Just be tactful.

:) You want to make God laugh? Make plans. He will be fine with the news. God just had different plans for you guys. Who knows? This kid could grow up to be president!! If your husband already had the vasectomy then he won't have to worry about it after this baby, right??! You hang in there. Three is a great number!! I have 4! After all, is parenting really complete if you can't claim personalities for a youngest, oldest, AND middle child?! Keep smiling. It will all be okay. God bless!

well first try to get happy about your pregancy. its never a good idea to bring a child into a sitution where it was not wanted. then sit hubby down and tell him that it was unplanned and that you need him to be understanding. and if its a boy he may even be happy about it.

Thisa happend to me with #4, who will be 2 tomorrow! Have a little faith in your hubby and just tell him. Afterall, he knows you didn't do it all on your own! When I told my dh about #4, he just said" Yeah, i figured" what? Well, me having denied this possiblility for solong inquires just how HE knew ...he says"you haven't had your period in 2 months"...duh. :o) Anyhow, its been interesting having 4 but its been fantastic, now I have 2 boys and 2 girls I wouldn't trade for the world.

The sooner you tell him,. the sooner its not a secret anymore, once its not a secret, you can allow yourself to enjoy your pregnancy and not feel like you are hiding something.

K

Hi A., I know you have already told your husband, but I just had to share a quick story w/u too. I too had a surprise baby.
I am 37 and have a 12/11 yr old now. Last year I found out I was pregnant w/#3. I had my tubes tied 7 months before I found out!
That didn't work so good for me!! I had feelings of being really MAD! I had a plan and it didn't include starting over w/a new baby! I stayed MAD and aggravated for at least 6-7 mos of my pregnancy. Michael will be 1yr old next week and he is the joy of our life. We love him sooo much and can't imagine life w/out him now. So now I pray for forgiveness everyday for not being more excited about the wonderful gift God sent from heaven for us. It is just human nature to try to plan our own life, but sometimes God really does have another plan for us. At least they will be close in age. Congratulations and don't beat yourself up about your initial feelings. (you'll probably do that enough after HE gets here! :)

My children are 11, 9, and 2! We thought we were finished, too. It was a shock but it has been so great! Now, I wouldn't change a thing.

Hey A. I've been there this is our second marriage so when we got married we had a total of five kids only 1 was mine so I wanted another after we had child #6 I thought ok I'm done my first born was a boy and then I had a girl so I thought I was done. We didn't want any more and on top of it all I was 34 and my husband was 39. And then came child #7 the only difference is that my husband new I was pregnant before I did. But it didn't change how I felt. I felt like you this will change all the plans that we have and I was saying the same thing to my family and friends about not having another being that we had 6 children but what can you do if you don't want or believe in an abortion you just have to have it. But I tell you something now I can't picture my life without my baby once the baby is here all those feelings will be gone. I guess you have to play the cards that you are dealt. Good luck and there is no easy way to tell your husband just tell him and like you, let HIM deal with whatever emotions he needs to deal with.

Our second pregnancy was planned, and I was/am so excited, but even sometimes still I get anxiety and worry and wonder if it's the right thing for us right now! SO I think your feelings are ormal, and they will fade off and on into excitement and anticipation, just like my feelings do!

Oh, and don't worry about having to explain this to family and friends, it's really none of their business what your family plans/changes are.

Just tell your husband and get excited about adding another member to love to your family!

Dear Ana, First of all, of course it is okay that you have these feelings - but keep them in check. Many, many pregnancies were not planned and were not really enjoyed the first few months because it curved "life's" plan. I was a mistake and my mother was not real happy after 3 kids and having another. Today, we are best friends and we laugh about it. I always share my truth with others because I hope it helps. God will take care of everything - all your finances, your vacations, etc. He meant for this child to be born.

The thing that bothers me most is why you are so scared to tell your husband but you will dicuss with everyone else first? He should be your best friend, and he is in this too. If I were to give you any advice, I would say that you and your husband need to try and develop a better communication and friendship. You two need to come together and work through these things... as a team. I pray that you will see this as the most important relationship that God intended us to have.

All the best to you and don't feel guilty, don't worry - it will all work out!!

Dear A.,
congrats on your new pregnancy! All children are blessings and although you and your hubby may not have planned this, by no means is this an accident...there is a greater power involved in all this and obviously this pregnancy was meant to happen!

As much as I fuss about having to take care of my little ones practically solo because of my husbands work situation (he's a freelance tv camera man who is working for ESPN right now doing college football and Monday Night Football), if I were to find out I was pregnant, I would be estatic! Not that I want to get pregnant, but if it happened I would be happy!

Best of luck to you and your family and I hope number 3 is a boy!

J. :)

I know you have already told your husband but I just had to respond. Just about all of my peers that have three children, including myself, had the "surprise #3". We were the same way. My husband was working two jobs just to make it and were both in denial for about 6 months. We didn't discuss names, anything. As maternal instincts kicked in, I felt more comfortable about it and I'm a half full cup type of person anyway. So I knew it was all going to be okay some how. My friends gave me a "Three Ring Circus" shower with 3 portacribs lined up like a circus train and really helped me feel better about it all. When the baby came, my husband stepped up to the plate though he still was not excited about it. We ate a lot of fish sticks and spagetti.

Well, #1 was the perfect child and was 4. #2 was a in terrible twos, and then there was #3. Girl, boy, girl.

As it turned out #3 was just like her dad, a math whiz, hunts, fishes, all the things he likes to do - even works in a civil engineering company with surveyors, etc. She was so close to her brother (15 mos apart) that they were like twins. They did everything together and still do. #1 played mother to them - they were her dolls, played hosue, etc.

It all worked out and so will your household. As they grew older, the only thing that never worked out was the arguments over who got to ride in the front seat!

I wish the best for you and your growing family. Please write me anytime. On this subject I can answer questions, relay humorous stories, advise - all from birth, to teaching them how to ride bicycles, to middle school, college, to marriages with children.

I will say this for sure, start laughing now! Seek out friends with more than 2 children. And I hope someone will give you a Three Ring Circus shower!

You have to go tell him right now. He can handle it and you need the support. You guys got into this together and will make it through this together. Just think about this is how your family was meant to be and as your kids (all 3) grow up together you will think to yourself you wouldn't have it any other way. As for telling other people you are done--big deal! We are women and have the right to change our minds! Go do something fun today with your family.

You know the saying if you want to hear God laugh then just tell him your plans. If everyone had only planned kids, then lots of us would not be around. I have three children and I won't say that it's not a challenge, but if I had it to do all over again I'd do it the same. I couldn't imagine my life without my third. He has blessed my life in so many ways. And if I had to, I couldn't pick one child being born over the other. They each bring something different to our family. I realize many people think their world is perfect with just two kids, but they have no idea what they could have missed. I'm not instigating people to have more than two, nor do I think there is anything wrong with just having two. I'm just saying life has some unexpected joys. You may not be happy about it right now, but give yourself some time. Good luck with your new adventure.

My DH was adamant about not having another child after our first, so it was really difficult to be happy about it for us when an ER doc informed us that I was 6 weeks along! I was so worried about his reaction that he thought I was unhappy about our surprise, and actually got mad at me for not being happy for the very thing I'd been asking for! It's funny now, 5 1/2 years and another child later! My DH and I talked about it over the next few days and weeks to figure out our own reactions. It was even harder for my DH when we found out we were having a son. DH really wanted another girl, but by the time he was born, he was thrilled, and loves both his boys now with a great passion (and his daughter, too, of course!)

My advice to you is to be honest with him, and do it as soon as possible. Don't be fake about your feelings about it, even let him know you feel guilty for not being happy/excited yet. It is okay! You have nine or so months to get used to the idea, and the only person you *have* to tell right now is your DH. Once you two have been able to become somewhat excited (hopefully before you begin to show;)) then tell everyone else. Don't let them stress you out -- they don't have to know until you're good and ready. On the other hand, if the thought of telling your families and friends is stressing you out, then maybe getting it over with sooner rather than later is better. It will be done and maybe the teasing, etc. won't be as harsh as you think. :) God bless you and your family

My husband didn't want more kids before he found out about DS1 - we had actually called off our engagement because I did and he adamantly did not. EVER want more kids.

So I called him and told him when I found out - that I didn't need or want anything from him for me or the baby, but I'm was calling because everyone has the right to know that they have 23 chromosomes walking around... and he was ecstatic.

He was passing around U/S pictures at work before I was. That kid is still the apple of his daddy's eye. #2 was actually my husband's idea... but when we got pregnant so soon after deciding on another one, my husband was actually disappointed for about a week - and when we found out he was another boy, he was disappointed for about one more week - and then everything fell into place (in our minds), and that little boy is the light of EVERYONE's eye... even his big brother.

The best laid plans go to waste - God has different plans for us sometimes. The one thing I recommend for you, though - is once you tell your husband (tell him first), the two of you put on a smile before you tell anyone else.

I had a friend go through a similar - we're done, everyone situation - and then proceed to have a surprise #3 and tell everyone that she wasn't sure what to do - and then get upset when several people told her to have an abortion. To me, abortion is just wrong - but at the same time, by putting a sad look on her face and saying, "I don't know what to do about this surprise baby" she really was asking for some rude people to make thoughtless remarks.

Anyway, yes - babies make the budget tight, but they are so snuggly and cute and faith renewing - your DH will be happy, he just might need a couple of days to wrap his head around the idea.

You and your husband are friends---tell him asap. You didn't deceive him or anything to be guilty about...have faith that even though right now it wasn't in your plans, this pregnancy will work out. You will work it out together; let him carry responsibility too. Concentrate on things you CAN change.
Best wishes.

That sounds like our situation!!! I will be having our 3rd in 3 1/2 weeks!
When I found out I called my mom hysterical. When my husband came home I started crying again and just told him. We dealt with it together..both of us in shock for many many months.
I just told myself the truth over and over....children are gifts from God. It took just about the whole pregnancy but now I look forward to meeting the little guy. And even though I am disappointed sometimes knowing our lives will not be what we planned (with only 2), children our gifts and it will work out.

God has a plan for the new baby and for you and your husband! Im glad that you have now told him and sometimes the men are more knowledgeable then what we give them credit for! Im very glad that he is being supportive. Take it easy it is a new beginning!
Congratulations to you and your husband! God Bless your entire family! We will be praying for your family!

Congrats! I think you aren't excited because you are so worried about what your husband will think.. I would tell him immediately, and just tell him it was a complete surprise to you as well... and don't worry about your friends and family.. life isn't always exactly how we think it will be.

Both of my pregnancies were unplanned.. as a matter of fact.. we weren't even engaged yet with the first one. My husband had JUST got his career off and was traveling a lot.. not to mention he was one of those men that wanted to be married 3 or so years before having kids. He had his whole life mapped out... mainly for financial reasons. I cried and cried with the 1st one, and I think I told every friend and family member before I told him. He was shocked.. but within a few hours he wanted to celebrate.. and within a few days we were buying rings and baby stuff.

We had decided that 2 is plenty, but weren't 100% sure so instead of getting my tubes tied during my last pregnancy, I got an IUD. A few months ago I had ALL the symptoms of pregnancy, and although we both had already started planning vacations, moving to a nicer house, etc. we were both thrilled and decided that it was what God wants if I was PG. I ended up not being pregnant, but I don't think either of us would be upset if we had another although in our head we think we are done.

GOOD LUCK!!

God apparently had other plans for you two... i know a few people that have had the same situation... and they left it up to Him. there is no telling what this bundle of joy was sent to accomplish! best of wishes to you... i think once you're husband knows and you except it then you will be more excited.

Hi A.
I to had that happen to me. I have 21 year old twin boys and a 2.5 year old little boy.The 2.5 year old was not plannes because my marriage was on the rocks.My husband and I
had not had sex for 6 monthes.One night we did, one time.BOOM
I was pregnant.My young son ended up being the
biggest blessing.I cannot imagine life without him.
I think GOD has his own plans for us,and sometimes we
cant see it because of our own life issues.
I know this baby will bless your home and family also.
congradulatons
M.

Oh A.,

This may not seem to help much now, but you will be happy later...

(I DO NOT mean this in a bad way!) Your youngest child right now is only 2 1/2 years old. It is not like your two girls are almost out of high school, so you won't have to put your plans on "hold" for that much longer.

You can still move (although I personally would wait until the market turns around), vacation, and anything else you guys have planned. Plus, your girls are at the age where they can seriously help you with your new baby!

I am NOT trying to minimize your situation. However, it will all work out. It is not all your fault you are pregnant - your husband had a hand in this as well! :)

And, the money will show up... it always does, right?

I guess if it were me in your situation, I would say something like...

"You know how we have been planning to be done having babies, and sell the house, vacation, (yadda, yadda, yadda)? Well, we have something to add to the equation now. WE are pregnant!"

A., just know in your heart that things WILL work out, and everything happens for a reason. Maybe your new baby will make you rich, rich, rich! :)

Good Luck,
E.

My husband and I are also D-O-N-E, done! This summer there was a chance that I was pregnant....I was BUMMED! My husband was actually rather excited. He kept laughing about how we really are not as much in control of this life as we'd like to think. Turns out, I was not pregnant. Another friend of mine also had an "oops" after she and her husband had definately decided that they were done. Her husband was also thrilled! I'm guessing that you're husband will be on board. It's normal and ok that you do not feel excited but I bet once the news is out and friends and family rally around the idea you will have fun too! Surprises like these are often the best thing to ever happen!

Be happy about being pregnant ! There are loads of people that want babies & cannot have them !!! This could maybe be a boy !....have fun & enjoy them they grow fast !
I had my tubes tied after my 2nd baby ! & wish i would have had 1 more ! ...........good luck ! ~

I am 35yr old sahm (ages 11,9.and 3). I was also in the same situation just purchase a new home 2months later a new car had 1 boy 1 girl life was perfect, then about a yr later I was pregnant with #3. I was not super excited about it because so many years had passed we were out of the baby phase (diapers,bottles, etc)and I was feeling a little old to have a child (32 yrs old). My pregnancy was not the best I cried a lot and found myself apologizing to my baby a lot. I felt like a bad mom and person because here I am 2 wonderful children great husband (been together since we were 15yrs old) and there are women who are unable to have children . My little one is now 3 and I could never imagine my life any different. There are reasons for everything in life and so I am told God doesnt give you more than you can handle. Enjoy your new addition to your family and as far as telling your husband have your in-laws watch the kids for the evening and talk about it be excited when you tell him because his feeling will most likely be a reflection of your feelings. hope this helps

A., the very same thing happened to me. We had a little boy and a little girl, our son was 2 1/2 yrs and our daughter was almost 8 months. We only planned on 2 children and what could be more perfect that a boy and a girl?? Well, we were on a trip with my husband's family. I knew I was a little late, but I had not said anything to anyone and I was breastfeeding and I had only had 2 periods and they were not real regular, so I was SURE that I could not be pregnant. Anyways, we went to Wal-Mart and I secretly went and bought a test and stuck it in my purse. When we got back to my husband's grandparents, I ran to the bathroom and took the test (fully expecting a negative). I really was- but the test quickly lit up 2 bright lines. All of our family was outside barbecuing and I went to the door and called for my husband to come quickly. He could tell that something was going on, all I could do was hold up the test with 2 lines and just cry. We took a walk, it was a very quiet walk, both of us were speechless--, we just took turns reassuring each other that everything would be ok. We decided that we would not tell anyone yet, we had to get used to the news ourselves. Oh, yeah, did I mention, that after I had my daughter, I went to Weight Watchers, and I was only 7 pounds from my goal weight!! The thought of being pregnant and giving birth again was hard to accept. I couldn't quit crying. Our family knew something was up, they all thought that we were having an argument. We ended up telling his parents that night, and I just cried and cried. We ended up selling our 1200 s/q ft house and moving closer to my husband's work. Long story short, everything has turned out wonderful. Our son is now 4, and our girls are 2 1/2 and our baby is almost 1 yr old.

The first time I got pregnant I had a miscarriage. My sister in law also had a hard time getting pregnant, and there I was crying that I was pregnant again- I felt so guilty. That kind of put things in perspective for me. Just the thought of everything is really overwhelming. Our house is crazy, but I wouldn't have it any other way. My friends and family were also more supportive than I gave them credit for.

Bottom line, you need to get used to the idea itself and it may take a week or so. Work through it with your husband. We have learned that having 3 little ones so close in age, that it really brings you closer together, or it can tear you apart, you have to work hard to be a team to keep it together. If not, you will not be happy and neither will your marriage. I have learned to really work hard at my marriage. Something else with the 3rd is that I have truly enjoyed every minute- even the 2 am feedings!! :) With the first one you are a little nervous, with the second you were more relaxed, but so busy with the 2 to take time to enjoy. But with the 3rd, you already know that things will be crazy, and that you will be tired, so just enjoy it because having 2 others, you know how fast the time goes. Everything will be ok, it really will. Let me know how it goes for you. Best wishes!!