Effect of Tae Kwon Do on Aggressive Kids

Updated on January 23, 2011
A.S. asks from Lowell, MA
8 answers

Has anyone had any experience with Tae Kwon Do making their already-aggressive kid more aggressive? My 4-year-old son (almost 5) has been very aggressive lately. No consequences for his behavior seem to have any effect, and he seems to have no remorse. I haven't been able to figure out if anything is bothering him or making him angry - nothing has changed that I know of. Before I get him a therapist, I'm thinking of trying Tae Kwon Do, but I don't want to give him more tools to use!

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Taekwondo might be very good for him. At first he'll run around and learn white belt forms. He'll also learn to listen to the Master, and he'll do a lot of push ups if he doesn't. As he progresses through the belts he'll learn kicks, punches and self defense (and breaking boards). At blue belt level he'll learn about sparring. He'll wear sparring gear (chest pad, arm/leg protectors, head gear, etc). If his class is anything like my son's, it'll be almost %50 girls and some of them are better at sparring than some of the guys.

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N.S.

answers from Chicago on

If you find a good school it will help him a lot! I went to a wonderful Tae Kwon Do studio and there were a few boys who were trouble kids. Boy, did our Master straighten them out! He not only had them doing pushups but they ended up cleaning the dojang (school) when they were disrespectful! One of the boys was disrespectful to his mom at the studio and he had to clean the mats for a week!

The wonderful thing is Tae Kwon Do teaches self-confidence and self-control. Some kids are aggressive because they lack self-esteem and can't control themselves.

I was at that studio for years and those boys grew up into wonderful young men. One became a black belt and teaches at the school now. I will never forget seeing one of the boys bow to his mother and thank her for taking him and he was sincere about it!

I absolutely recommend it, but you HAVE to find a good school. Be sure to talk to the Master of the school about your situation. Then use their response as a gauge.

Good luck!

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R..

answers from Chattanooga on

My older brother was very aggressive... He used to try out wrestling moves (fake TV wrestling) on us... when he was put in karate (Not sure what kind...) he mellowed out pretty good. (Of course, he was 8) A good instructor will not only teach HOW to use the moves, but WHEN it is appropriate to use them. Usually, to master the techniques, the student has to learn self-discipline. The self-discipline is what calms most of the aggression. If anything, you can try the Tae Kwon Do, and if he is still having aggression issues you can pull him out... say a month or so. He won't be able to learn much in that small amount of time.

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M.P.

answers from Boston on

Find a school and observe the instructor. My kids and I took Tae Kwon Do for many years with whom we thought was a very good instructor, however, we did things outside the school such as attend exhibitions put on at the state fair, tournaments. On several occasions, we did witness the temper of our instructor get out of hand and he told stories of his aggression towards other drivers. That was a heads up for me, that he was truly NOT all he should have been and what he should have been instructing. One can not teach discipline if you don't have it within one's self.

So observe the instructor as well as his teachings.

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V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

I do not have experience with an aggressive kid being made more aggressive through martial arts. My son has never been aggressive. But he has been in martial arts since he was 5 1/2. He is 12 and a Black Belt working on his 2nd degree, now. Our daughter is 9 and has been doing martial arts for almost a year. They do Tang Soo Do. I took a class in Tae Kwon Do when I was in college for a semester.

One of the most important aspects of ANY martial art, is self-control. They stress the importance of self control and respect (both for others, and themselves - as in personal hygiene and keeping their body healthy). No martial arts class worth it's name will teach the mechanical skills without also teaching respect and self control right along with it.

Go sit and watch a few classes with young kids in them and you will see. Most martial arts schools would be happy for you to sit in and watch a class. There are usually a ton of parents sitting watching their kids take the group classes and you would just sit with them.

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I strongly recommend Tae Kwon Do (or other martial art) for children of all personalities. Those who are timid can learn how to speak up and stand up for themselves, those who are aggressive can learn to channel that into more effective behaviors. Good instructors will stress that these techniques are for in class and for self-defense and that's all. My school's instructors will tell the kids that they will be dismissed from the karate school if they use this on their friends, siblings, or schoolmates.

I have trained in Tae Kwon Do for a total of eight years. I am currently a Black Stripe working towards a Black Belt, which I hope to earn when I'm 50! My daughter started at age 5 and now at 8 is truly enjoying the physical and mental challenge. I taught kid's classes for two years previously and saw all types of kids benefit in different ways. Teaching Tae Kwon Do to children was one of the most rewarding experiences I've had in my life.

Before you commit (or pay) for a school, I would sit in and watch classes, speak with the instructors, and have them meet your son. They should be willing to give him some type of "introductory" lesson, even if for 10 minutes. Some might give you a two week trial period, for example. You should feel comfortable with the approach the school uses. Check the class schedule to be sure it will fit with your current schedule. Ask what the expectations are for attendence (once/week, twice, or more).

Tae Kwon Do is my therapy! I have been recommended to be on meds for ADD, but a karate class session focuses me just as well, and with only positive side effects!

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T.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

There's a lot of respect for elders and discipline involved with tae kwon do. It hasnt made my kids more aggressive at all but you have to find the right studio. Some of them encourage more aggression than others.

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L.M.

answers from Hartford on

I am a child therapist and mom of a7 yo boy who does tkd. In my practice, I have never seen a positive effect of any martial arts on aggression. I encourage you to talk to your pediatrician or a developmental pediatrician to try to figure out if anything is causing the aggression. If you decide to try the class please be honest discussion with the instructor.

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