Circumcise? - APO,AE

Updated on February 22, 2010
T.M. asks from APO, AE
18 answers

I'm going to have a baby boy in April and recently I've been thinking a lot on the decision to circumcise our son or not. He will be our second son and the first was circumcised. Now that we are living in the UK, I've been hearing a lot of arguments against the practice. In the states, I've heard 90% of baby boys are and here, the opposite is true. I've been asked why I would even consider mutilating my baby. Being Americans, I thought it was important to do for cultural acceptance. I worried about what boys might say to mine when he was older and I thought he may wonder why he looks different from his father (and now older brother)
I've heard all the usual arguments about keeping it clean, ect but living here, I've heard that a circumcised man is less sensitive than one that hasn't had the procedure.
I just wanted to see what other mothers who have maybe been faced with the same question for their baby would have to say on the topic.

thanks!

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

I have 2 sons and we had them both circumcised. My husband wanted them circumcised and all the men in my family are, so I chose to have the procedure done. I don't think it is mutilation and think it is cruel and unfair for other moms to judge in that way. We all love and want what is best for our little boys, but what the best is is different for each family. Weigh your choices and don't worry what others think or that they are trying to impose their opinions on you. You have to make an informed and well thoughout decision with your husband. Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful
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K.J.

answers from Chicago on

My husband was not when he was a baby, and his parents must not have taught him proper hygiene habits, because at the age of 7 he had to have a circumcision done due to very frequent urinary tract infections. He remembers it VERY clearly and insisted that we have our boys circumcised. He is also a physician who has had several middle aged and elderly men come to him, complaining about lifelong struggles with UTI's. He refers them to urologists, and most of the time, they end up getting circumcised. Who knows if their infections could have been prevented with better hygiene.

Recent studies in Africa have shown a MUCH lower STD transmission rate amongst circumcised men. No amount of hygiene can prevent STDs, so I would think that this would be the strongest argument FOR circumcision.

Either way, I do not think you should let it bother you too much. Although, when asked, my hubby will tell you that he wished his parents would have done it at birth, he is not angry with them.

2 moms found this helpful
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C.C.

answers from Tampa on

Here is a website for you, it's kind of fun and very informative.
http://circumcisiondecisionmaker.com/

Personally, my husband and I chose not to circumcise our son. Even though there are studies showing lower rates of STI infection in uncircumcised men there are FAR less painful and more reliable methods of preventing STIs like CONDOMS. Also, of the sixteen men and boys in my family and my husband's (including my husband), NOT ONE of them has complained about not having been circumcised and thus far ALL have chosen to leave their sons intact as well. Quite a few of the guys I grew up with weren't either (this was in Western Michigan). As to penises and how they look - All penises look different from each other no matter what you do to them and they all look pretty darn ridiculous.

2 moms found this helpful
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S.G.

answers from Stationed Overseas on

Hi T.,
We faced the same issue about 2 years ago. My husband is american and circumcised and I'm from Denmark where we in general don't. We did a lot of research on the net and what we found was that there is no current medical reason for it, sensitivity is reduced with the procedure, and that currently only about 55% of american babies (and decreasing) are being circumcised. We decided that if our son would later ask why daddy's looks different that we would explain that that's what was normal then. After all this research we just couldn't justify cutting into him. Hope this helps. Søs G.
PS I had my son at Lakenheath and had a really good experience.

2 moms found this helpful
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R.M.

answers from Nashville on

My son is two and IS circumsized. My whole pregnancy I researched and was really leaning towards not doing it. But my pediatrician and ob both said that there ARE higher incidents of STD's found in uncircumsized boys. Maybe that has changed again in the last couple years, but at the time, that is what the medical community was saying. I did lots of online research and found that studies were showing higher rates. I deferred to my husbands preference once I read that. The possibilities of having problems can happen on either side of the issue, so that didn't help me decide either way.

I did NOT just let anyone do it. And only because I was questioning it did I realize that I had other options. When I asked, they said they would just have whoever was on call in the hospital do it if my ob didn't get to it first. I didn't really feel like my ob/gyn was the best choice for doing this surgery. I know they do them all the time, but that is NOT their specialty. I trusted my care to her completely, but for a circumcision I thought it should be performed by a pediatrician or a urologist. I also did NOT let the hospital resident pedi on call do it. I found a pediatrician's office that had a doctor on staff that would do them when he did his hospital rounds. It took some looking but I felt more comfortable with a doctor who specializes in babies doing it. They used sugar water, so he wasn't anesthetized, and I nursed him immediately before and after, but I really didn't notice any effects on him.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.G.

answers from Stationed Overseas on

My son is adopted. When he was born, his birth mother abandoned him at the hospital without giving consent for his circumcision. My husband and I could not legally make that decision for him until his adoption was final...which didn't happen until he was nearly 2 years old. At that point, we felt that it would be cruel to put him through such a painful procedure after showering him with tenderness up until then. He is now 4 and remains uncircumcised. He is healthy and cleanliness hasn't been an issue. I don't feel that circumcision is medically necessary, but you should do what you feel is best for him.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.T.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I really don't have any advice about what to choose, but i will say(espcially being somewhere where it is not as common) to just be careful about who let do it, if that is what you decide. My oldest son was circed by the ped on call at the hospital he was born in. They did an aweful job and he had to have a revision at 2(OUCH!). He still doesn't seem quite normal either. So either way the choice is yours and your husband's, but gives you something else to look at.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Santa Barbara on

My son was two when he was adopted from Bulgaria. He was and is still uncircumcised. At age 11, he just told me that nobody has ever noticed or said anything and he has had lots of sleepovers and plays sports where there is an opportunity to be seen. When he was two, I consulted with the pediatrician and she said if it wasn't an issue of needing to look like Dad, then there really is no medical reason for circumcision. My son, Mr. Practical, when I asked him whether he thought boys should be said, "Does it cost more? If it does, than no it's not worth it." How funny!

I know this is a hard decision and for some has cultural impact, but for most of us is a personal decision.
S.

1 mom found this helpful
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E.M.

answers from Des Moines on

i left this choice up to my husband. though his family disagreed with his choice to circumcise, we had our son done. my husband absolutely HATES that he himself isnt. he said he had numerous problems growing up and wouldn't wish that on his son. It is a personal choice and one that i think "social" norms should have nothing to do with. if you only do it or dont do it because that is what everyone else does then i dont think that is enough reason. we made our choice based off of hygiene and medical issues (uncircumcised men can "tear" the skin and it is very painful) and circumcision can lower the risk of acquiring sexually transmitted diseases. good luck in your decision it is not an easy one to make

1 mom found this helpful
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I.G.

answers from Seattle on

This is an irreversible elective procedure on someone who has no say in the matter.

I understand that there are cultural factors at play when making the decision, but that does not alter the fact above. I was lucky we had a girl - this was the subject of heated discussions with my DH when I first got pregnant.

I do believe that infant circumcision amounts to genital mutilation. In my opinion if your son want to be circumcised, he can always get it done as a juvenile or adult, once he is actually old enough to make that decision for himself.
I also would not pierce my daughters ears for exactly the same reason. This is her body and I do not believe as parents we have the right to have painful elective/cosmetic procedures done on our kids.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.M.

answers from Dallas on

I had my son circumcised. Not really sure why...it was just one of those things that I always thought if I ever had a boy I would do. However, looking back made me wonder if it is kind of weird to have a part of their manlyhood removed.

I think you should do what you want/ feel is right. It doesn't matter how America or the UK view it. Sometimes I think they view things differently just to oppose each other (you know like 2 siblings would do?).

How does your husband feel about it? I think whatever you choose will be fine! Mommies know what is best for their kiddos.

1 mom found this helpful
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B.P.

answers from New York on

I am a Brit mom who may end up raising my boys in the US. I wouldn't dream of having them or any future siblings circumcised in order for them to fit in with the cultural norms in the States.

I would not want to judge any family for their decisions, but it sounds like you have changed your opinion as Page W did. If your son feels it's something he wants, he can choose to be circumcised when he is older.

1 mom found this helpful

B.G.

answers from Portland on

Hi, This is a personal choice between you and your husband. I have a son and I did have him circumcised. My husband and I both agreed on this. I wouldn't let someone elses opinion waver your choice. Good luck and best wishes to you.

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K.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

My brother in law was born in Mexico (no circ). He had to have a circumcision as an adult and they decided to circumcise their son. We also chose circumcision for different reasons - mostly because in nursing school when I had to provide care for elderly uncirc'd men who could no longer clean themselves...well let's just say that area rarely got cleaned. Sorry, but it was really gross!

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

baby boys in the US started being circumsized routinely due to victorian thinking that if they were circumsized they wouldnt masturbate as much. Obviously, this is a personal decision for you, but there is no medical need for it.

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J.K.

answers from Sacramento on

We did not circumcise our son. We just didn't see the need to. I have had all kinds of comments about how he'd have problems later and have to be circumcised as an older child or adult, and how he would be different from his peers and get teased...

I think it's a really personal choice for parents to make after educating themselves about the pros and cons. Not circumcising seems to be much more common and accepted on the Coasts than places like in the midwest; I don't know why that is.

Good luck!

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R.J.

answers from San Diego on

We opted not to, figuring if kiddo wants to be later on he can choose to be.

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