Advice on Assisted Living

Updated on December 25, 2008
B.H. asks from Port Hueneme, CA
6 answers

My in-laws are getting to the point where they are not able to care for themselves anymore. My MIL has had several falls, and is on Dialysis as well as having a heart condition. My FIL had a seizure last night, and had my husband and I not been there to celebrate the holiday, he would have certainly passed away. They would require round the clock assistance, which my Husband and I are not able to provide. I was wondering if anyone has a suggestion of a nice, well kept, assisted living situation in the Dallas area. They are Jewish, and would be especially interested in a Jewish run facility, but any good references would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for your input.

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for your kind words and support, as well as great suggestions. My MIL went into the ICU last night, unable to sit up, brush her teeth, shivering uncontrollably. My FIL may be released today, but will need in-home care until we figure something out. Their financial situation is not going to allow them to be in any assisted living facility. We are looking into several options now. Thanks again for all the wonderful caring advice. It is so nice to be a part of such a supportive community.

More Answers

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D.T.

answers from Dallas on

Golden Acres has several facilities for different levels of care needed. It almost exclusively Jewish. You can also call Jewish Family Services and ask for some assistance with this situation. Good Luck and I hope you get them situated somewhere soon. This must be very stressful!

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D.C.

answers from Dallas on

My MIL has been at Golden Acres for 20 years (she's a quad) however that facility is no longer a jewish facility. The former director of Golden Acres is at the Verandah and we are actually looking at trying to move her there. I'm not sure if that helps, but it is all the information I have as my sister-in-law is in charge of her care.

Good luck!

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R.B.

answers from Dallas on

B., I empathize immensely with your plight. My brother and I had to make arrangements for our mom a few years after my dad (who, we found out after he died, had been doing a tremendous amount of care and "covering up" of her frailties--she had progressive dementia) passed away. My mom was painfully shy all of her life, and we felt a nursing home was not a good choice. By the time she could no longer live alone in her own house (next door to my brother), she was hospitalized for a short time and the doctor said she could no longer live alone. We had heard from friends of this woman who provided "adult foster care" in her home. Upon investigation and gathering of recommendations, we decided this was our best option. Having someone stay in her home with her would run about $4-5000 per month. Our "foster mom" charged (at that time in a small town) from $1200-1800 per month, depending upon the amount of personal care needed by the resident. She kept 3 elderly ladies in her home. It was the perfect solution for my mom. It helped that she was a certified LVN. You might contact Jewish services or other elderly care agencies for recommendations of adult foster care providers. I don't know if there are organizations of these folks, but an internet search might turn up more information. Good luck and God Bless you and your in-laws. It is very painful to watch your parents get to the point they need to be parented.

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A.C.

answers from Dallas on

Dear B.,
My heart went out to you when I read your request and even more so when I read your follow-up response. It's hard enough to come to the realization that your parents have become too frail to live on their own, but to find out they can't afford to move into an assisted living situation is soooo hard.

After my mother's death, my father stayed for two years at Grace Presbyterian Village (sorry, not Jewish). He absolutely loved it. He was in one of the independent living wings, but they provide full care, including having a wing for Alzheimers.

I know you said they can't afford it, but I wanted to respond anyway to encourage your heart. I'm glad that you and your husband are happily married - that helps when hard times come along.

A.

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M.P.

answers from Dallas on

call the veranda-they might take medicare/medicad.
Veranda Preston Hollow
11409 North Central Expy
Dallas, TX 75243
###-###-####
Fax ###-###-####

hi B.. my husband and i are very active in the jewish community here and we also have 2 elderly mothers, one which we have recently been exploring the option of assisted living. the "new golden acres" is called the legacy at willow bend. it is truly magnificent, efficiently run, but very far away. the veranda at central and northaven has just recently been redone and has a very strong jewish presence. i would highly recommend looking there. i would have no problem with either of our mothers being there. the other sr living facility with a strong jewish presence is town north village at coit just north of forest. good luck.

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A.A.

answers from Dallas on

I was going to recommend Golden Acres also my grandfather was there for a while and my grandma was really pleased with the staff and facility.

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