Accusations of a 10 Year Old Cheating on a Test

I would keep the discussion away from whether or not he cheated and focus on the way it was addressed. Ripping his paper up in front of the class would have been uncalled for even if they knew for a fact he cheated which they didn't. Such an inappropriate way to handle the situation. Something seems very off. I would try to get a clear story from the teacher before jumping to any conclusions.

I think I would just say it sounds like there was a misunderstanding and ask if there's any chance he could still take the exam. She made her point, and I seriously doubt anyone will attempt to cheat after what just happened. Hopefully she will give him a chance to take his test.

I am a teacher. I do not have any advice on whether your son cheated or not. God knows that it is a huge problem, especially as more pressure is place one students these days. What I am disturbed by is how the teacher responded. Public humiliation is always a VERY BAD thing for a teacher to allow, let alone cause. It breeds fear and it teaches kids that bullying is OK. The fact that they took the word of another student and did not seem to have direct knowledge of whether he cheated or not is disturbing. First, it gives way too much power to this girl. Second, a teacher should know what the hell is going on in his.her class, even if he.she is just observing. He should be allow to take the test again, on his own. You should express your concern about public humiliation. You should talk to your son about cheating and try to determine if he is struggling. If you can get him out of this class when the term changes, I would do it. My son was being bullied and threatened because he wouldn't let other students cheat off of him and the school did nothing about it. I pulled him from the school. It was horrible.

I have 25 years teaching at the college level. Even with adults I would never act like this in my classes.

I hope you see this before you go to the school today: Do NOT meet with the teacher alone, just you and her, but yes, do meet today -- don't let her or the school put you off and say they'll discuss it sometime next week etc. Be polite and calm but insistent. Say that you will meet with her today and that the principal or vice principal must be present. This puts her on notice that this is a larger issue than her being able to simply rip up a student's test.

Both teachers handled this horribly. The fact that the teacher actually said "he looked guilty" because he didn't speak --? Pure nonsense.

She should have brought BOTH students to the principal and there should have been a talk with not just your son but the girl. And then you should have been called. And she should not have torn up anything -- if there was cheating, she has now destroyed the evidence.

Let's be clear here -- the girl isn't necessarily a villain; she may well have sincerely thought he was cheating, and if your schools are like ours here, the kids have been taught, certainly by about fifth grade, that cheating is absolutely wrong and they must report it even if it means getting another kid in trouble. So don't go in, guns blazing, and accuse the girl of lying; that could only backfire on you.

Do go in -- with a third party like a principal there, because the teacher's boss should know how this was handled -- and ask:

Does the school have a written protocol for how a teacher is supposed to proceed in this situation? Say you need to have them produce that. Sit there and read it while they wait. Did her actions follow that protocol?

Why was this handled DURING a test, when the act of walking in and tearing up a test was clearly going to distract other students badly? They were focusing on this little scene and not on their own tests.

Why were both students not questioned? What made the girl think he was cheating off her?

Why does the teacher believe that your son's saying nothing was an admission of guilt? That wouldn't hold up, well, anywhere. Does she have some other specific reason she would immediately believe he was cheating? Has there been some incident she has not informed you about? If so, she needs to do it right there in front of a principal.

Tell the principal and teacher exactly what your son said about how he is always told not to talk in class and be clear that he feared the repercussions of defending himself even more than he feared her tearing up his test.

Tell them that you know it's "he said, she said" but the school failed to do any questioning of either child beyond assuming your son's guilt because he was too scared to defend himself.

Tell them that humiliating him with an instant assumption of guilt, and a dramatic gesture of ripping up a test in front of the entire class during a test (!), raises the issue of whether the teacher has any experience handling this previously. The teacher should know that assuming guilt is, frankly, opening herself up to parents reporting her to the school --which is what you need to do. Even if your son DID cheat (and I'm assuming here you believe him when he says he didn't), the way it was handled was extremely poor and actually distracted other students, and created a atmosphere where your son now must "live this down" the entire rest of the school year.

I would then tell the teacher and principal, "Now, what do you propose to do about this situation? Because this is not over." If they don't recommend that your son retake the test, then you insist on it. Don't walk out of there with it unresolved. Be clear that both your son and you have lost confidence in the teacher because of how this was handled with assumptions and humiliation rather than calm investigation.

Once a student loses confidence that a teacher will act fairly and calmly, the student has to spend the rest of the year with that lack of confidence and it's crushing to a kid's school experience--every single day. I know, having seen it happen already this year with a friend's fifth grade son. The parents ended up demanding, rightly, that he be moved to another class, and that has been an immense help. If your son's teacher does ANYthing after this that makes you feel she's scapegoating him because you came in and got her in trouble -- say that he must be moved.

For me, as a middle school teacher, the bigger issue here isn't whether the teachers think he was cheating but how the situation played out in the classroom.

1) They took the word of 1 child over another without any supporting evidence of their own. That gives children far too much power over each other, and teachers far too little responsibility.
2) The whole verbal exchange happened IN the classroom within earshot of other children. Whether he cheated or not, other students saw and heard him be accused of this. And if they KNOW that the girl set him up, they may now see her as someone to fear because they realize she can get away with it.
3) She tore his paper up?!?!?! That's like yelling or hitting. It serves no real disciplinary purpose in the classroom, but it terrifies kids. She humiliated him... in front of the class... on purpose... for no reason. If she wasn't going to grade it, don't grade it. You can give a test a zero with it still in tact.

Focus your conversation on the way things played out after the accusation not on whether or not your son was cheating. Let the teachers know you take cheating seriously and if he was cheating you'd like to get to the bottom of it, but since the test was destroyed, no one will ever know if he copied her! Make it clear that in future, "looking guilty" will not meet the burden of proof for your son's behavior, and a private conversation with him and the other child would be a minimum requirement!

I really hope this works out for you.

If your son has no history of cheating, and is generally a good student and trustworthy kid, I'd say that you can take him at his word. I would meet with the teacher, tell her what he said about the girl being on page 3, and request that he have the opportunity to take the test again for full credit.

I would also make it clear that jumping to conclusions when they're dealing with a kid that is trustworthy and has good grades is not positive leadership in the classroom.

Keep in mind what we all know. You believe half of what your child told you went on in class and the school will believe half of what he tells them goes on in your home.

That being said., I totally agree to set up a meeting with the teacher AND Principal and have a conversation by asking, "Please tell me about the Cheating test incident."

Then you can decide if you feel what your child told you is 100% true.

Or have them call in your son to tell his side after the teacher has told her version.

All sounds very odd that they did not just take up BOTH tests and have them both retake the test.

What would I say? First, I would request a meeting with the teacher and principal. Second, I would explain what my son said and look the teacher in the eye in front of the principal and say "surely he is exaggerating, that you would not rip his paper in front of the class like that"? See what she has to say about that.

Do you have the school handbook? If so, look and see if it states the policy for cheating. I would be curious about that. I would also have my son talk to the teacher and principal.

I would also insist that my son get to take the test again. There was no "proof" that your son cheated. None. Just because the little girl said he was doesn't make it true.

The whole situation was handled poorly and that needs to be addressed. No way should your son get a zero.

Regardless of whether or not he cheated, the teacher was WAY out of line here. I would be meeting with her and the principal. If your husband can come to, that would be best. I often find that while I deal well with the school on my own, sometimes it is better to have a united front and let the school know in person that neither of us will stand for whatever took place.

How was the word of one child taken over your son's? Why was he in another class to begin with?

Honestly, maybe your son did have wandering eyes. In 7th grade my eyes wandered in a science class and I didn't even honestly realize it. The teacher simply said to the whole class "eyes on your own paper". I knew she was talking to me and that was embarassment enough, but my test was not ripped up, I was not called out, nothing. This teacher is horrible for doing that.

To get down to the truth on the cheating, you'll want your son in on the conversation with the teacher. But that's not the big problem here.

Deb,

Is this the same kid who stole $30 from you?

What would I say to the teacher? That she looks guilty as well. Is that how she wants to be thought of by parents?

She didn't investigate. She could've looked at the other students test to see if the answers were the same or even if they were on the same page.

Why is that child who stated he was cheating believed?
What makes her "better" than your son?
Why did SHE not get a card pulled on her for talking during a test?

Your son should get to re-take the test today. On the spot. That will put an end to the "did he cheat" theory.

There is more going on here. Does your son have trouble controlling himself?? What is the history here?? I don't get it. I've never seen a teacher react that way to statements of cheating...he could have been separated and given the test in a corner. the teacher could have looked at BOTH tests to see if the answers were the same - heck - were they even on the same page?????

Get the principal involved. There's more going on here.

I would say that I would like my son to have the opportunity to take the test. If he was cheating, then prove it. I would remind this teacher that he cannot destroy your child's future by ripping up a test because some girl said he was cheating, without proof. I would then take that to the principal and then to the district.

I had a very similar situation with my dd when she was in 4th grade. She wasn't accused of cheating off another paper, but she had her notebook propped up on her desk and another kid told the the teacher she was using it to cheat. My dd also cried because the teacher saw the notebook propped up and thought she was using the notes inside of it. My dd said the only reason she propped up the notebook was because there wasn't enough desk space to have it down (the papers inside weren't even visible anyway because the papers were under a pocket in the notebook.
I emailed the teacher and even took a picture of how the notebook was propped up.
Basically, they let her retake the test ( a harder version) and she got a good score. My dd is VERY good at math and had no reason to cheat and I honestly don't think she was cheating.
The teacher has a responsibility to tell the kids to put everything UNDER their desk.
At that school, they have these cardboard "separators" on the desks which prevent the kids from seeing other kids' papers....maybe they need something like that at your school.
In any event, I think the teachers should avoid using one kid's word against another. Some kids just love to tattle and create drama.

Sit down with the teacher AND your son, the truth will come out.

It sounds as though your son is intelligent and understands the rules. I would request a meeting and I would have your son there and I would encourage him to discuss this with the teacher. In 5th grade, he's old enough to do this. Plan ahead with him - you're going to ask the teacher what happened, and why, and why she made the decisions that she did. No anger, no assumptions. And you and your son should have your solution in your minds already (like writing a complaint letter, where you don't leave the resolution up in the air, but you end by saying "I expect you to replace the item at no cost to me"). Do you want him to retake it, or do you want that test simply removed from his grade as though it never existed so it won't affect his grade or his record?

When my son was in middle school he spoke up to correct the teacher and was kicked out of the class for disrespect. When he told me what happened, I was angry and we requested a meeting with the teacher. The teacher was doing a geography unit and kept referring to Tasmania. However, the unit was about Africa and she meant Tanzania. She had written Tasmania on the whiteboard and she continued to call it Tasmania. My son said "don't you mean Tanzania, because Tasmania is not in Africa" and she told him that she was the teacher and he should respect that. He insisted that the countries were wrong. Ultimately, at the meeting, she apologized and said she was rattled and embarrassed because the entire time she prepared the lesson she thought it was Tasmania. What was important was that our discussion was conducted respectfully and politely.

So I think you could teach your son something about advocating for himself, how to speak up with respect and politeness, and how not to back down when he knows he is telling the truth. Let him write down some questions and be at the meeting.

Ask the teacher to give the kids the test again, separately. Should be really easy to sort out who was cheating.

I was not well liked by some of my teachers, they didn't think I worked hard enough for my grades. So the same thing happened to me in 7th grade except two girls around me always cheated off of me. My mom never backed me up but I had immediately requested I be allowed to take the test out in the hall to prove I wasn't cheating off of anyone. The teacher wouldn't agree to it, perhaps because she knew I didn't cheat. Not sure if things would have been different if my mom had backed me up but as it is, she didn't like me much either. :(

I had an odd childhood. All good now.

The first thing I would want to know is why she didn't even ask your son, and I would be very quick to add that the excuses given in the e-mail are not sufficient - she better have a better explanation. Everyone is entitled to defend themselves, from the kid in the classroom to the worst serial killer! I would INSIST that my child be allowed to take the test again. If the school won't allow it, I would go all the way to the superintendent of the District.

Everything Mel R said. Additionally, the teacher should have a discussion about cheating with the entire classroom in which she discusses both cheating but also how she made a mistake in handling the situation, apologizes to your son AND the class and explains to the class how such situations will be handled in the future.

It is an opportunity for the teacher to demonstrate how a responsible adult (which we hope she is) fixes her mistakes.

Even experienced teachers with 25 years under her belt can lash out and later be apologetic.

I feel sad that your son was trying to be a good boy and this is his reward.

However, be careful in how you handle this. Both Teachers A and B will treat your son now with kid gloves--you have already won the battle.

No need to go over their heads.

I'd tell her she needed to apoligize to my son in front of the whole class to show them he wasn't cheating and I'd make that girl go to after school detention for lying about him.

I would be pissed. Definitely talk to them face to face.

I would be so livid.

I would tell the teacher that unlike her, you talked to your son. Then proceed to say what your son told you. Then asked her, did she look at what page the girl was on compared to her son? She's had your son for how many weeks already and has he once cheated before. Why didn't Teacher B call your son out on cheating, why was it when the girl said something. Then asked her about the rule of the card being pulled. Then say, now do you see why my son didn't say anything, not to mention he was shocked.
I would also mention to her how embarrassing that was for your son, first be be called a cheater in front of everyone then for her to rip of the test. How would she like if you walked into a teachers meeting, and accused her of lying in front of her colleagues. She should have taken him outside the hallway, since she wasn't in the room when it happened.

I would have her give him a new test. What is really needed is you standing on his side.

Sorry for your son, I feel for him!