7 Month Old Sleep Issues

J.,
The first thing that popped into my head is it sounds like seperation anxiety, or that she feels she isnt getting enough time with you (like you could ever make them happy in that department- ha!)
IMO, crying to the point of screaming is too much, especially at that age. With my kids (I have 3- 6,3,6 wks.) that just makes the situation worse and it takes them way longer to calm down.
7 months is still extremely young, she needs the comfort. I always have a hard time remembering that most of the behaviors that annoy me, are age appropriate for my child. I know it is hard, we are battling bedtime with my 3 yr old. Hugs!!

I think 7 months is a tough time for sleep. I'm sorry things are so hard for you right now. Have you thought about bed sharing with the baby so that you can sleep more? She may be starting to experience separation anxiety or may be teething? She may need the exact opposite of crying it out right now, which is to be held close as much as possible, especially if she doesn't see you much during the day. She just may be trying to tell you she needs more closeness. If you can do that, it would be interesting to see if she sleeps better. I don't think there is any one perfect solution and each baby requires a bit of creative tweaking with sleep arrangements. I wish you the best.

Hi J.,

Reading some of the responses, the dim nightlight worked with my son - for bedtime and for night wakings. Cry-it-out never worked and we'd let him go for a long while. However, we still had to train him to fall asleep on his own by doing reassurances and using things that he found soothing (this is what they call the "limited-cry" method). Eventually, he would self-soothe (for him, all he needed was the pacifier).

For my almost-7 month old daughter, however, its another matter. Nightlights, no matter how dim, were a distraction. I read the book "twelve hours sleep by twelve weeks old" (the limited cry method) and her nighttimes are great. She had the natural rythym already, so it wasn't a stretch to apply stuff from the book. She still wakes once a night for a feeding but for the most part she sleeps well at bedtime & during the night because she's tired. Her days are as follows: Up at ~ 7 AM, feed @ 7:30/7:45 AM, nap at ~ 9:15 AM to 10:15/10:30 AM; feed @ 11:30/11:45 AM; play until ~ 1:15 PM, nap to ~ 3/3:15 PM, feed @ 3:30/3:45 PM and play until bedtime which starts 7/7:15 PM (PJ's, soft music, story, dim/dark room, feeding, snuggling until the yawning starts, down in crib AWAKE, put in pacifier, play musical toy [plays the lullaby song] -- a MUST for her, & rub her back). Asleep by 7:45 latest and not a peep until ~ 3/3:30 AM (the remaining night feeding). Daytime feedings last ~ 45 minutes, including solids. Because she's awake later in the day for so long, she's quite tired at night and goes right to sleep.

Don't get me wrong, there are definitely days when she's more fussy, both at night and during her nap times, but if I hear that her cries go beyond her ability to fall back asleep on her own (50-50 chance), I go in, replace pacifier, put on musical toy, rub her back, and she's back out in seconds (as she's accustomed to the "sleep cues" by now).

Hope this helps.

Hi J.,

I don't think my advice will be of any use since I come from a very different cultural background! I have an 8 month old daughter and she refuses to sleep if she has to sleep alone. So I go to bed with her and she falls asleep while nursing. 8pm being too early for me :-) we go to bed at around 10:30. And she sleeps with me. She wakes up at around 9 or 10 in the morning. During the day she sleeps in her crib. In India it is no big deal for babies to sleep late and between their parents. We are not big on enforced schedules. Once a kid grows up she anyway adapts her schedule to school and stuff. And some will always be natural early risers and some late. If she sleeps fine in your bed, I would say let her just sleep there. Try to move her to the crib later just before you go to bed. Parenting should be fun and you shouldn't have to hassle about your kid not following rules this early. Good luck!

Hi J.,
This is a tough one! It sounds like you're doing everything I would suggest! I know it's weird to say or even think this at her age, but do you think she could be scared of the dark? Maybe you could try putting a dim light on in her room. Then she could at least know she is in a familiar place? How about music? Put soft music on that plays throughout the night? it might be soothing for her and become familiar after a few nights, so that will help keep her calm??? I wish I had magic words of wisdom that would solve this for you tonight! You must be exhausted... Good luck!

hi, Probably you have already addressed this, but whenever my girls could only sleep being held it was because they either had an ear infection or were very stuffed up in their sinuses and lying flat caused them pain. If you haven't explored this yet (maybe they have no other symptoms) try elevating the head of the bed by putting it up on wood or putting folded blankets under the mattress. Another possibility is flus- also little or no symptoms when elevated but significant discomfort when horizontal. I have it and can tell youfirst hand that if I forgot my meds and try to sleep- it's a no-go unless i am in the recliner or wedged up on the couch and I am VERY uncomfortable- probably would cry in frustration if i were a baby! anyway, just some thoughts, forgive me if you have already tried all of this. Good luck though, I hope you get some sleep soon. when we went through the same thing for a few weeks with no apparent reason (after boughts of ear infections that may have left scar tissue and therefore pressure in the ears when lying down) my pedi told us to give our daughter Benedryl before bed- causes drowsiness, is non-addicting and is a de-congestant. It worked like a charm and we all slept. Ahhh. Take care,

J.,

You said you work full time. Do you know how she falls asleep during the day? It doesn't matter about the environment it just matter's how they are getting her to sleep? Do they hold her, rock her, let her cry? This may help you figure out what will make her settle and get her to sleep.

She could also be going thru a stage of separation anxiety. My daughter will cry if I try to leave her in the middle of the night after a feeding. I have found that if I put the side of the crib down and I sit on the ottoman and rest my hands and hand on the side of the crib so she can see me as she falls asleep that she is fine but when I try to leave she cries and will not stop. For me it's quick no more than 5 minutes and I can pull up the side of the crib - s-l-o-w-l-y so as not to make noise and then leave and she is fine.

Good luck,
L.

my little guy does not like to sleeep alone either, babies like to be close to their mommas. if i have a night where i am energetic and can't get him down and happy i put him in a carrier and he sleeps on my body. he is happy and asleep and i can get some stuff done. i really don't believe in crying it out so i never did that, just tried to meet his needs of being close- this way we both win.
good luck.
heidi

Hi J.. I would first have your pedicatrician look at her to rule anything out.

Secondly, CIO does not work for all babies. If there was one solution all babies would be sleeping through the night and at naps for everyone!

I can only tell you what worked for me:

I put my baby down in her crib at bedtime, and I laid down next to her...

Now obviously I cannot fit in the crib, so I put a stool next to it, and just placed my upper body down in her crib, talked to her softly, rubbed her head and belly until she fell asleep. I sometimes fell asleep too!

The first few times were BRUTAL, she cried and cried, but at least she did not cry alone. It took about 90 min the first three or four times I did it. 90 min is a long time not to give in and resort to your usual pick up, nurse, put in the car, etc, etc. So be ready if you want to try this.

Then I just needed to talk to her til she fell asleep, then I could just put her down and let her self soothe til she fell alseep. It was a process - it took much longer for naps, but only about a week for nighttime.

I've also seen moms on this site recommend The No Cry Sleep Solution. I too read it and it is a great book. I know you said you do not have time to read. But bascially she has a 7 step plan to get your little one to sleep on their own, so maybe you could read that part.

I kept getting stuck at Phase 3, and did not have the patience, energy or sanity to keep it up, so my baby did cry, but again, she never did cry alone. I was always with her.

Hope this helps!